Day 27 - Spinning Plates and What I learnt from Coaching

Back to reality today. The Monday morning doom. A hard-core weekend of Recovery Coaching and learning didn't leave a lot of time for much else. My little brain was full. It wanted a rest today.

I now have to sort all the things that came my way at the end of last week. The job offer, the investment offer, a new company idea. Lot's to sort out and arrange this week. Of course after an intensive 3 days of learning I deserve/need at least a week off. Terrible being a lazy bastard deep down. Unfortunately life doesn't work that way, so it's time to be up and at 'em and get my head in the game. Lots going on, lots to do, many plates to spin. Feelings of slightly being overwhelmed are rumbling in the background.

When I am busy I find my meditation and spiritual routines/rituals slip. This is peculiar, seeing as they  make me feel better. Why would I stop doing something that makes me healthier? I guess it's a question of habit and priority. It's easy to let new habits slip as they are not unconscious habits. When things require effort it's tough to keep up. When they are natural it is easy.

For instance cleaning my teeth. It is an unconscious habit to clean them in the morning and night. However there was a point as a kid when I had to be prompted/told. Therefore by repetition this becomes an unconscious habit you end up doing naturally. I view meditation similarly now. Because it is new, I have to remind myself and force myself to do it. It is un-natural, so when I'm out of my own home/routine I tend not to do it. The result is I slip back into my head, which is where my problem lies. The top 6 inches.

Note to self. Don't let up on the spiritual action. Keep doing it until it is a unconscious habit, I become a spiritual guru and set up my own sect. (with naked ladies and stuff)

I'd like to briefly list what I learnt from the coaching weekend. I'll make it brief as I'm knackered today. Here is what I learnt;

• Coaching is not a solution based project. This surprised me. I thought it was. It's not. It's about empowering the individual to make them better, be more effective or move away from harmful habits/areas.
• It's ultra hard not to jump in and offer solutions/suggestions to people when listening to their stuff
• Coaching is about the client not the coach. it is their topic, their conversation, their life. Not mine. Fuck!!! The opposite to my head.
• Coaching is about listening not speaking - Very hard for this alcoholic who can't stop finishing off people's sentences and can't wait to speak.
• There are three levels of listening
• I find it hard to ask open questions
• I find it hard not to be in my head
• I find it hard not to judge people
• I make initial judgments on individuals based on my own assumptions which aren't necessarily right
• I allow 'my shit' to affect my judgment and behaviour
• I'm often late
• I love tea
• 4 hours kip a night is not concussive to being open minded and able to take in new information
• I have quite closed set agendas on addiction
• I'm passionate about recovery
• It's good to be authentic and yourself
• I'd like to take it somewhere I in the future. It makes my heart stir (or is that indigestion from the pork scratchings)

The biggest thing I learnt this weekend though is 'To Thine Own Self Be True'. I like that a lot and that I have a long way to go. Feels good to be on that journey though, no matter how long it will take. Fancy joining me?

Together We Are Stronger

Nicholas Evans