Hello you. I hope you're enjoying 'The Inside Job' as much as I am writing it. We're nearly 2 weeks in and going OK. I know some of you read it every day, whilst others dip in and out. But I say 'We', because you're as much part of it as I am. #TogetherWeAreStronger!
I'm always interested in what you guys think. Not just for narcissistic purposes, it's good to know which direction to take it. What would make you and other people read it more, or enjoy it. Is it too long? Would you like to see other features? I know it's a ball ache to comment on Blogger. Google has you signing up with an email address in order to comment and let's face it - how many people can be arsed to do that?
But if you can be arsed then I welcome your feedback. I'd be interested to hear it plus any suggestions for any features to add to make it more diverse and interesting.
The longer term plan is to develop my own website, place the blog on there and then develop video blogs, Podcast, interviews and other elements. I want to make it a hub. A meeting point. I'm not sure exactly what direction as yet but that's the kind of thing I have in my mind. Ultimately I suppose I'd like to do books, coaching, recovery. All using humour and openness to help affect change in people. Dare to share is something I'm keen on. It's a bit wanky but I quite like that.
The bottom line is that I've been told by psychics, spiritual healers, friends, even astronomy books that my psyche. My being is here to help others. It's my core value. Coupled with an incredibly self centred ego means that I can use that to help others.
Fuck it, it's OK not to be right. It's OK to feel fear. It's OK to be angry, to be resentful, to have habits and addictions. It's OK not to feel great. There is a certain sense of freedom and relief in admitting it.
But the real gold is finding out how to change these problems. That's the real journey. If we can use some humour along the way then even better. Laughing at oneself. Laughing at the disease. Laughing at the ego is good. It's a start at least.
I started 'The Inside Job' with the intention on focusing on a 12 step process of change, considering that is what has helped me change so far. But this is not just for people who are addicts or in a 12 step fellowship.
I hope it appeals to a wider audience than that. I know we all have shit. Most of us have some kind of 'issue'. I know I want to provide a safe haven for people to say, 'phew, not just me that thinks that then'. I find connecting with other people, even if only to identify, such a relief. In time I will add in suggestions, solutions, techniques to help the process. First I have to find them out and experience them myself. That is the journey of 'The Inside Job'.
Quite a lot of you have picked up on the humour. Several people, even my own Mother have said they have actually laughed out loudly to themselves whilst reading. Job done! That makes me happy
There are so many blogs, articles, pieces, tweets, links on personal development and guides on 'how to.....', sometimes it gets overwhelming. How can I make mine unique? How can it stand out from the crowd?
Sometimes personal development or self help is so heavy. It's dry, serious and in my opinion effectively selling something as a commodity no different to Coca-Cola. Since when did happiness or recovery become such big business?
I have been asked by a couple of people, 'what is the purpose of the blog?' A good question.
In it's simplest form, it's about change. A daily insight into changing harmful and painful patterns of behaviour. Be it thinking, habits, addictions or personality traits. The inside Job, is about How to change. Not just with glib, 10 point plans, but in the actual daily process.
I hope through charting my progress it will provide 3 things;
1 - Identification to the reader. You are not alone.
2 - Humour to highlight the pain of change. Ability to laugh at the problems
3 - Solutions to problems. Overcoming the ego. If I can, you can.
Of course at the end of it (whenever that is) I will bring out the book, the 10 point action plan, the membership, coaching seminar and one to one therapy. I'm not that much of a hippy. But we shall see where it goes. Who knows what will happen. I certainly don't. I'm just concentrating on churning this out every day, developing as a human being, trying to change and progress this blog/concept along the way. More will be revealed.
Today I woke up feeling crappy. Physically unwell and mentally flabby. 'Oh no, one of those days' I thought. I did my routine. But instead of padding around (non office day today) and thinking of myself. I went to a meeting.
I felt better after. As always. In the end I did things I've been putting off for months. Went for a chest X-ray, sorted out bank stuff, cleaned the car (yes I really did), answered a few emails, did two fresh juices on my new NUTRI-BULLET!, drank tons of water, wrote the blog and finally wrote up my daily spending record I've been keeping for the past 8 weeks.
That was horrible when I put down what I spend every month. Fuck me, loads more than I earn. That doesn't really work does it?
it just showed how utterly financial irresponsible I am. How financially un-sober I am and how much radical work I need to do. Fuck. Yet another area of my life I need to change!!! It highlighted how much money I waste on shit!! But that's for another blog.
It felt horrifying (like when you daren't check your bank balance) What on earth is that about? I'd rather bury my head in the sand than deal with it and put solutions in place to make it better.
Still it felt good so I at least I know I have to work on another area. The list continues. Weirdly confronting things makes you feel better. Doing something about them is the real bastard but putting them off is ultimately more painful.
In the end it was a good day. Action was taken and my head caught up. I looked after myself and was healthy (apart from the 19 silk cuts.) I put decent things in my body and refrained from the pork scratchings. One day of having fingers smelling of dogs arses is more than enough.
That's what 'The inside Job' is all about. Growing up, facing the fears and buying a load of Euro Lottery tickets in the hope it gets you out of the financial shtick. Nobody said I was better today! At least I'm identifying the problem areas, that's the first part of the battle. It's only week 2 after all.
Besides tomorrow is a £12 million jackpot and that's a fuck load of pork scratchings. It would sort my financial sobriety out nicely.
#TogetherWeAreStronger (TWAS)
Nicholas Evans
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