Mileage - 5 miles; - 44 minutes. Weekly Mileage - 5miles
Spent all day trying to help a chronic alcoholic organise moving house whilst they are hopelessly relapsing on brandy. Now that is an opening statement guaranteed to provide a real light in your heart and a well funny blog!
I can certainly think of many other things I'd prefer to be doing. Stapling my eyelids to my brow. Creosoting the fence or watching endless reruns of Songs of Priase. Almost anything other than this. It's Not a belly full of laughs. However Even though she is tragic and sad. There is a certain macabre humour in it.
For one, she is the female version of Ozzy Osbourne. So hopelessly out of it, shuffling around, shaking and on a different universe to the rest of us. Two, trying to see a very drunk person light a cigarette in strong wind for some reason is very very funny. Three. When the contracts were signed, the exchange went through and finally the keys were handed over. Savills also gave a bottle of champagne too. Little did they know we had a chronic alcoholic stored away in the back of the van out of sight and harms way. Still. It made us chuckle.
Met the neighbours (all 4 flats are below this raging alcoholic so it could end in disaster for them)
We kept the neighbours away from the poisoned alcoholic. Didn't have the heart to warn them their new neighbour is a shambolic nightmare and a danger to themselves and them. Still the local Off licence, Pharmacy, Doctors and Police Station will become much busier. I like to think an alcoholic really makes a mark on the local community. Stimulating certain sections of the local economy. Really fab that is, especially in such troubled fiscal times.
I spent a large part of the day dealing with removal men and cleaners, whilst trying to stop afore mentioned alcoholic from running out the door to buy brandy. They were beginning to suffer from terrible DT's and were trying to talk me round they needed alcohol to bring down the dosage for safety, and that was just the cleaners.
I understand that alcoholics can have seizures and fits if they stop alcohol totally. However that is mostly for very heavy users over a long period of time. This one had been valaiuming it up for 10 days and then on the Brandy train for 4. I wasn't convinced it was to prevent a fit. So i said no.
Next thing, i was on the phone and whoosh. She was away. Off out into the London afternoon no doubt to get her booze. In all honesty i though, 'what can i do about it' and i got changed and did a nice and tight 5 miler, in the sun by the Thames. Oh fuck yeah baby.
Managed to get some time, some space, some energy. Some thoughts about past 72 hours. It was good, 44 minutes i really enjoyed and can't wait to do again. Felt strong and rythmic. Finished off with x50 floor jumps and 30 'bastard burpees'. I was suitably buggered and ready for Round 2.
Rest of the day was spent keeping a leash on the alkie. God bless her it is awful but things had to be done. The new place was total carnage and we got it in the best shape possible whilst the alkie smoked in the corner and dropped off to sleep.
The day ended at 9pm. beds and sofa delivered tomorrow so it was back to an empty old flat for a nights kip, quick once over and away tomorrow.
The alkie spent the night coughing up blood and effectively being alive but dead. It brought back the full facet of the illness and made me think. Shit, i was really hoping to get out for an early morning run tomorrow.
I'm no saint, secretly i'm a selfish sod!
xx
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Day 57 - Monday 27th Feb
Rest Day
Well, when i say rest day. Being around an alcoholic in full blown madness whilst trying to help them pack and organise moving house is not exactly mentally or emotionally restful.
Wanted to get out and run but didn't have the opportunity. Instead had great curry with a mate and then a full pizza.
I'm pretty sure that is not included in any nutritional training programme for the marathon. Chuck in loads of diet coke, tea and fags and you may get the gist my emotional state has not exactly made me want to be uber healthy.
Harsh times people. but nothing i can't handle. Though if I'm being honest I'd rather just be well focused on me and the training and being healthy and strong, instead of a totally insane alcoholic, Like training a naughty puppy possessed by the devil.
MMM, instead of Andrex at Tesco today, maybe i should have got some Anthrax. Never mind, last resort. Lets hope i get Back on the running train tomorrow when i can squeeze and hour off babysitting duties.
Had lots of great comments about yesterday's blog. Thanks for that people. It was cathartic, a release. A valve to relieve the pressure. The anger, frustration, sadness and resentment that builds up from dealing with an alcoholic tornado, is almost too much to bare sometimes. Makes you want to have a good drink!
Either that or Alanon - a solution. For families and casualties of the alcoholic.
Nothing quite fores me up more than alcoholism. I have witnessed so much destruction that I'm passionate about it's credibility as a disease and 3rd biggest killer in UK. I'm passionate about how it's viewed and taken seriously. The only thing that really fires me up as much is passionate sex and Haagen Dazs, Preferably together. Double winner.
So it is like a vocation. A calling. My grandfather was a welsh preacher and clearly i have his genes. But i must be careful not to be preachy, sanctimonious and annoying. People switch off. I don''t have the answers. Just recognition.
So where do i take this? Be a counsellor? A therapist? Earn money from it? That doesn't feel right. I find it too hard dealing with people in denial who don't want to get well. It's an impossible task and fair play to those who have the patience in helping people with damage limitation.
Do i write a book? play? Comedy? Perform? Too rehabs? To schools? To the public? Is there a market? Can i earn a living out of a vocational passion or will i and everyone else just become bored of it?
How many times do you pass someone preaching the bible in Oxford Street without taking a blind bit of notice. Sometimes it's not in the message but in the messenger?
I think there is a role for awareness, but should i do it? Do i have it in me? What is the channel? If I'm I'm being honest, fucked if i know. But i hope it will be revealed at some stage.
Let me just content myself with being able to release frustrations by typing this blog. At the moment i am sat in the nude. Nothing apart a pair of white towelling socks. My god, what with my new 'Bucks Fizz' haircut and colour, and white towelling socks I'm harping back to the 80's.
Now where is that Joyce Sims LP?
xx
xx
Well, when i say rest day. Being around an alcoholic in full blown madness whilst trying to help them pack and organise moving house is not exactly mentally or emotionally restful.
Wanted to get out and run but didn't have the opportunity. Instead had great curry with a mate and then a full pizza.
I'm pretty sure that is not included in any nutritional training programme for the marathon. Chuck in loads of diet coke, tea and fags and you may get the gist my emotional state has not exactly made me want to be uber healthy.
Harsh times people. but nothing i can't handle. Though if I'm being honest I'd rather just be well focused on me and the training and being healthy and strong, instead of a totally insane alcoholic, Like training a naughty puppy possessed by the devil.
MMM, instead of Andrex at Tesco today, maybe i should have got some Anthrax. Never mind, last resort. Lets hope i get Back on the running train tomorrow when i can squeeze and hour off babysitting duties.
Had lots of great comments about yesterday's blog. Thanks for that people. It was cathartic, a release. A valve to relieve the pressure. The anger, frustration, sadness and resentment that builds up from dealing with an alcoholic tornado, is almost too much to bare sometimes. Makes you want to have a good drink!
Either that or Alanon - a solution. For families and casualties of the alcoholic.
Nothing quite fores me up more than alcoholism. I have witnessed so much destruction that I'm passionate about it's credibility as a disease and 3rd biggest killer in UK. I'm passionate about how it's viewed and taken seriously. The only thing that really fires me up as much is passionate sex and Haagen Dazs, Preferably together. Double winner.
So it is like a vocation. A calling. My grandfather was a welsh preacher and clearly i have his genes. But i must be careful not to be preachy, sanctimonious and annoying. People switch off. I don''t have the answers. Just recognition.
So where do i take this? Be a counsellor? A therapist? Earn money from it? That doesn't feel right. I find it too hard dealing with people in denial who don't want to get well. It's an impossible task and fair play to those who have the patience in helping people with damage limitation.
Do i write a book? play? Comedy? Perform? Too rehabs? To schools? To the public? Is there a market? Can i earn a living out of a vocational passion or will i and everyone else just become bored of it?
How many times do you pass someone preaching the bible in Oxford Street without taking a blind bit of notice. Sometimes it's not in the message but in the messenger?
I think there is a role for awareness, but should i do it? Do i have it in me? What is the channel? If I'm I'm being honest, fucked if i know. But i hope it will be revealed at some stage.
Let me just content myself with being able to release frustrations by typing this blog. At the moment i am sat in the nude. Nothing apart a pair of white towelling socks. My god, what with my new 'Bucks Fizz' haircut and colour, and white towelling socks I'm harping back to the 80's.
Now where is that Joyce Sims LP?
xx
xx
Monday, February 27, 2012
Day 56 - Sunday 26th Feb - Alcoholism
Mileage 6 mile + x5 100 meter Richmond Hill sprints. Weekly Mileage - 39.5 miles
Today's blog was going to be about how beautiful it was to get up and run on a sunny morning, about how lovely the Thames and Richmond Park was at 8am. About how i nearly fainted on doing hill sprints without eating first and on the back of a long run yesterday (Learn from my mistakes Nicholas)
It was going to be about how I'm well chuffed to have done over 20 miles this weekend and feel good. How i nearly did 40 miles for the week. About how the next 2-3 weeks is going to be hard in stepping up mileage and intensity but I'm looking forward to it.
It was going to be about keeping it simple and getting good sleep, rest, peace, gym work and lots of injury free mileage this weekend and being a right boring sod
It was going to be about Wales winning the triple crown and my Team Liverpool FC winning the Carling Cup dramatically even though they should have killed off the game in 90 minutes.
It was going to be about the hope and aspiration this spring weather brings and about how the weekend has genuinely been a sport fest.
it was even going to be about how my new sensible hairdo makes me look like a faded 80's pop star combined with Sean Penn, the mentally challenged bloke from the film 'I am Sam'
But No, all that changed when tonight at 6pm, i entered into the world of total and utter alcoholic madness. Not mine, well not mine whilst drinking, but someone close who has relapsed in a major way and is totally out of control. Grim and scary.
It was like being around a child possessed by the demon. Think the kid in Poltergeist and you've got it one. Gruesome.
It made me think of my childhood with my father as an alcoholic. All the bullshit, ego, chaos, broken promises, the massive arrogance yet total insanity.
It was like a scientific experiment. And totally highlighted the difference between heavy drinkers and alcoholics. It's not the amount drunk, it's what it does to the person when they drink. Like Jekyll and Hyde
Heavy drinkers or normal people when drunk are just a fuller extension of themselves. They either get lippy, lairy, horny, tearful, morose, jolly or sick. Alcoholics just become a fucking nightmare.
The ego and arrogance is detected by the smirk on their face, like they've got a superior view even though they are totally out of it. They get angry and defensive when confronted and lash out like a wounded animal. The become defiant at the mere hint of getting found out or their secret stash taken. They become self piteous and hysterical when threatened.
They will do almost anything to get what they want, Nice or nasty it depends on what the alcoholism dictates.
There is so much bullshit debate., Is it a disease? Is it not? People tell me they don't believe in it. Really? well try studying this one tonight,
You can see the human being in the body, trapped deep down inside but they are totally dominated by the alcoholic personality. The disease dominates them. John Barleycorn himself. The devil has clearly taken over.
The saddest part is that most people don't see it, recognise it and handle the the alcoholic like they are a real person. It is useless speaking to them until they are sober. You are effectively dealing with the clinically insane when an alcoholic has taken a drink. All bets are off.
It made me yet again realise the value of AA and a 12 step programme. I know it gets a lot of stick ('Brainwashed, robots, simple etc etc) But usually only from people that have tried it and started drinking again. Fuck me if i started drinking again i would slaughter it. Why? Because it's full of sober people not drinking. Precisely the sort of people you hate when you're drinking!!!!! Why would you not slaughter it - that Ladies and Gentlemen is called denial.
Why does someone like Charlie Sheen go out of his way to destroy AA and 12 steps? 'Look at me everyone, i''m doing so well i need everyone in the world to know I'm doing well and those people in AA are twats. Losers'.
Well fair enough, everyone is entitled to an opinion, and i certainly don't speak for AA. He may have had a bad experience, there are people in AA who are knob heads and he may have experienced them.
But if you have a bad meal do you boycott restaurants? If there are people in the pub who are well out of line and a nuisance (was usually me) then do you stop going to pubs and renounce pubs? No you go to another you like.
So why do people with drink and drug problems renounce AA as shit? Well maybe something to do with alcoholic ego. If it didn't work for me so it must be shit!! And i need to persuade you that i am right and everyone else is wrong. No hint of alcoholic ego there right?!
No doubt there are people, counsellors etc who are smug, pious, lack humility, are brainwashed and seem to think their way is the smart way. Just like religious people who look down on non believers.
If they were true people of God then they would have no space in their life for arrogance. That's the way i see it.
So tonight when i saw someone reject AA, 12 steps and sobriety. With such vicious denial. I just thought, 'Ok I'm hearing you, but you're hardly making your way appealing', shaking like Ozzy Osbourne taking a shit, stinking of booze, slurring, bloated and full of piss and wind.
if that's the case, then I'll just quietly march on my path with the AA pack. It may have faults but hey fuck it, at least i get not to die alone in a bedsit at 60 years old, penniless, lonely and totally skint. What a bonus!
I just felt sad and angry. Not so much at this person but about the disease that robs people of so much and yet it's lost on society because everyone drinks. That's not to say i demonise drink because i dont. Alcoholism is in people not bottles. People can drink and i have no beef, its when the alcoholism is palmed off as binge drinking or something else. Cut to the fucking chase people it's a disease called alcoholism
If you have a nut allergy and eat nuts it has a physical and biological effect on your body. Without treatment and avoidance of nuts it will make you unwell and kill you. here is no difference with booze, it's the same with alcohol, it just takes longer. Put it in an alcoholics system and it just sets off the illness in full technicolour, Chaos, drama, bad decisions, other loonies, broken promises. Just fucking problems
It robs people of jobs, families, homes, all because people cannot babysit alcoholics, and you have to save yourself before the alkie takes you under. You see because the disease is greedy. It will not be satisfied until it has taken everything from you, your partner and anyone close. It is voracious. It is powerful.
It is a fucking killer.
It took my Dad. It;s taking my brother, it's got hold of my pal. It's an absolute cunning illness as it camouflages itself so well most of the country and world don't actually believe it's a disease.
Oh yeah? GO to the liver units, to the psychiatric wards, to the GP's. Go and see the death certificates that say 'Heart disease, liver failure'. It may as well stamp alcoholism on them
Are you seriously trying to tell me alcoholism is not a disease, just because it cannot be x-rayed or prooved with a blood test.
A friend of mine died at 56, He had 10 years sober and then went back to drinking, dead within 3 years. At his funeral his wife was told by an AA. 'So sorry about xxxxxx, i wish i would have taken him to more meetings. The wife replied 'Oh, he isn't that bad'.......He;s in the fucking ground luv. Dead. Early, brought on by alcoholism. How bad do you want?
That is the level of denial we have in this country. From everyone.
This is not exactly a subtle approach this bog, as I'm angry - but i hope it may plant at least an idea in someones head that it is a disease and that it is not a choice.
Had an angry wank and went to bed. Possibly self GBH. I reckon i would get sent down for a 12 stretch by the wank police if i got found out. (Sorry Nan)
xx
Today's blog was going to be about how beautiful it was to get up and run on a sunny morning, about how lovely the Thames and Richmond Park was at 8am. About how i nearly fainted on doing hill sprints without eating first and on the back of a long run yesterday (Learn from my mistakes Nicholas)
It was going to be about how I'm well chuffed to have done over 20 miles this weekend and feel good. How i nearly did 40 miles for the week. About how the next 2-3 weeks is going to be hard in stepping up mileage and intensity but I'm looking forward to it.
It was going to be about keeping it simple and getting good sleep, rest, peace, gym work and lots of injury free mileage this weekend and being a right boring sod
It was going to be about Wales winning the triple crown and my Team Liverpool FC winning the Carling Cup dramatically even though they should have killed off the game in 90 minutes.
It was going to be about the hope and aspiration this spring weather brings and about how the weekend has genuinely been a sport fest.
it was even going to be about how my new sensible hairdo makes me look like a faded 80's pop star combined with Sean Penn, the mentally challenged bloke from the film 'I am Sam'
But No, all that changed when tonight at 6pm, i entered into the world of total and utter alcoholic madness. Not mine, well not mine whilst drinking, but someone close who has relapsed in a major way and is totally out of control. Grim and scary.
It was like being around a child possessed by the demon. Think the kid in Poltergeist and you've got it one. Gruesome.
It made me think of my childhood with my father as an alcoholic. All the bullshit, ego, chaos, broken promises, the massive arrogance yet total insanity.
It was like a scientific experiment. And totally highlighted the difference between heavy drinkers and alcoholics. It's not the amount drunk, it's what it does to the person when they drink. Like Jekyll and Hyde
Heavy drinkers or normal people when drunk are just a fuller extension of themselves. They either get lippy, lairy, horny, tearful, morose, jolly or sick. Alcoholics just become a fucking nightmare.
The ego and arrogance is detected by the smirk on their face, like they've got a superior view even though they are totally out of it. They get angry and defensive when confronted and lash out like a wounded animal. The become defiant at the mere hint of getting found out or their secret stash taken. They become self piteous and hysterical when threatened.
They will do almost anything to get what they want, Nice or nasty it depends on what the alcoholism dictates.
There is so much bullshit debate., Is it a disease? Is it not? People tell me they don't believe in it. Really? well try studying this one tonight,
You can see the human being in the body, trapped deep down inside but they are totally dominated by the alcoholic personality. The disease dominates them. John Barleycorn himself. The devil has clearly taken over.
The saddest part is that most people don't see it, recognise it and handle the the alcoholic like they are a real person. It is useless speaking to them until they are sober. You are effectively dealing with the clinically insane when an alcoholic has taken a drink. All bets are off.
It made me yet again realise the value of AA and a 12 step programme. I know it gets a lot of stick ('Brainwashed, robots, simple etc etc) But usually only from people that have tried it and started drinking again. Fuck me if i started drinking again i would slaughter it. Why? Because it's full of sober people not drinking. Precisely the sort of people you hate when you're drinking!!!!! Why would you not slaughter it - that Ladies and Gentlemen is called denial.
Why does someone like Charlie Sheen go out of his way to destroy AA and 12 steps? 'Look at me everyone, i''m doing so well i need everyone in the world to know I'm doing well and those people in AA are twats. Losers'.
Well fair enough, everyone is entitled to an opinion, and i certainly don't speak for AA. He may have had a bad experience, there are people in AA who are knob heads and he may have experienced them.
But if you have a bad meal do you boycott restaurants? If there are people in the pub who are well out of line and a nuisance (was usually me) then do you stop going to pubs and renounce pubs? No you go to another you like.
So why do people with drink and drug problems renounce AA as shit? Well maybe something to do with alcoholic ego. If it didn't work for me so it must be shit!! And i need to persuade you that i am right and everyone else is wrong. No hint of alcoholic ego there right?!
No doubt there are people, counsellors etc who are smug, pious, lack humility, are brainwashed and seem to think their way is the smart way. Just like religious people who look down on non believers.
If they were true people of God then they would have no space in their life for arrogance. That's the way i see it.
So tonight when i saw someone reject AA, 12 steps and sobriety. With such vicious denial. I just thought, 'Ok I'm hearing you, but you're hardly making your way appealing', shaking like Ozzy Osbourne taking a shit, stinking of booze, slurring, bloated and full of piss and wind.
if that's the case, then I'll just quietly march on my path with the AA pack. It may have faults but hey fuck it, at least i get not to die alone in a bedsit at 60 years old, penniless, lonely and totally skint. What a bonus!
I just felt sad and angry. Not so much at this person but about the disease that robs people of so much and yet it's lost on society because everyone drinks. That's not to say i demonise drink because i dont. Alcoholism is in people not bottles. People can drink and i have no beef, its when the alcoholism is palmed off as binge drinking or something else. Cut to the fucking chase people it's a disease called alcoholism
If you have a nut allergy and eat nuts it has a physical and biological effect on your body. Without treatment and avoidance of nuts it will make you unwell and kill you. here is no difference with booze, it's the same with alcohol, it just takes longer. Put it in an alcoholics system and it just sets off the illness in full technicolour, Chaos, drama, bad decisions, other loonies, broken promises. Just fucking problems
It robs people of jobs, families, homes, all because people cannot babysit alcoholics, and you have to save yourself before the alkie takes you under. You see because the disease is greedy. It will not be satisfied until it has taken everything from you, your partner and anyone close. It is voracious. It is powerful.
It is a fucking killer.
It took my Dad. It;s taking my brother, it's got hold of my pal. It's an absolute cunning illness as it camouflages itself so well most of the country and world don't actually believe it's a disease.
Oh yeah? GO to the liver units, to the psychiatric wards, to the GP's. Go and see the death certificates that say 'Heart disease, liver failure'. It may as well stamp alcoholism on them
Are you seriously trying to tell me alcoholism is not a disease, just because it cannot be x-rayed or prooved with a blood test.
A friend of mine died at 56, He had 10 years sober and then went back to drinking, dead within 3 years. At his funeral his wife was told by an AA. 'So sorry about xxxxxx, i wish i would have taken him to more meetings. The wife replied 'Oh, he isn't that bad'.......He;s in the fucking ground luv. Dead. Early, brought on by alcoholism. How bad do you want?
That is the level of denial we have in this country. From everyone.
This is not exactly a subtle approach this bog, as I'm angry - but i hope it may plant at least an idea in someones head that it is a disease and that it is not a choice.
Had an angry wank and went to bed. Possibly self GBH. I reckon i would get sent down for a 12 stretch by the wank police if i got found out. (Sorry Nan)
xx
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Day 55 - Sat 25th Feb - London Rocks on Long run
15 miles; 2 hours 08 mins, London run; weekly mileage 33.5miles
Oh my f**** god. Or (OMFG) what a storming run. Felt great, well for 10 miles anyway, and a beautiful route to boot, Sunny morning early doors and London never looked better. Made me realise how utterly top class this City is
woke early and decided to go long today whilst i still had the buzz of massive ice cream imjection last night.
Strapped on the lycra and out i went. Ran strong, felt good, steady but strong. Really enjoyed it. Early out so London was quiet save for lots of other runners.
Here was my route. Chelsea FC, Kings Road, Embankment, Thames, Albert Bridgr (the Dominc Cork of London Bridges - showpony) Batersea Power station, House of Parliament, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park, Kensington Palace, London Eye, Tesco express and Sainsburys. How do you like them apples?
London iconic landmarks all in one run. truly awesome, lots of space amd a sense of London being amazing (apart form poverty, financial divide, massive expense, busyness, crime, ripped off, smells of piss) - It is amazing city.
Felt good up to 10 miles and then faded. I learnt some valuable lessons today;
1 - eat more pre long run
2 - eat every hour to maintain energy
3 - stretch more
4 - wear shades in sun so you can perve on women in tight lycra leggins
I shall do that next week
Sat back and relaxed rest of day. AA meeing, friend for lunch, gym, Wales beating England and then laze on sofa in evening.
May not be the most exciting day or weekend but i'm just happy to be back peoples. Now you really won't get away form me that easily.
I'm back, yet i've never been away
xxx
Oh my f**** god. Or (OMFG) what a storming run. Felt great, well for 10 miles anyway, and a beautiful route to boot, Sunny morning early doors and London never looked better. Made me realise how utterly top class this City is
woke early and decided to go long today whilst i still had the buzz of massive ice cream imjection last night.
Strapped on the lycra and out i went. Ran strong, felt good, steady but strong. Really enjoyed it. Early out so London was quiet save for lots of other runners.
Here was my route. Chelsea FC, Kings Road, Embankment, Thames, Albert Bridgr (the Dominc Cork of London Bridges - showpony) Batersea Power station, House of Parliament, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, Hyde Park, Kensington Palace, London Eye, Tesco express and Sainsburys. How do you like them apples?
London iconic landmarks all in one run. truly awesome, lots of space amd a sense of London being amazing (apart form poverty, financial divide, massive expense, busyness, crime, ripped off, smells of piss) - It is amazing city.
Felt good up to 10 miles and then faded. I learnt some valuable lessons today;
1 - eat more pre long run
2 - eat every hour to maintain energy
3 - stretch more
4 - wear shades in sun so you can perve on women in tight lycra leggins
I shall do that next week
Sat back and relaxed rest of day. AA meeing, friend for lunch, gym, Wales beating England and then laze on sofa in evening.
May not be the most exciting day or weekend but i'm just happy to be back peoples. Now you really won't get away form me that easily.
I'm back, yet i've never been away
xxx
Day 54 - Friday 24th feb
Rest Day
1 - wake up
2 - work
3 - aa meeting
4 - 30 min cycle in gym
5 - fukloads of ice cream
6 - bed
Now that is not a rock and roll Friday. Where did it all go wrong?!
xx
1 - wake up
2 - work
3 - aa meeting
4 - 30 min cycle in gym
5 - fukloads of ice cream
6 - bed
Now that is not a rock and roll Friday. Where did it all go wrong?!
xx
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Day 53 - Thursday 23rd Feb
Mileage 7.5miles; Time - 58 minutes; conditions - amazing 16 degrees and sunny! ; weekly mileage 18.5miles.
Oh yes now that's more like it. Sunny day, warm, day off from city. long strong run by the Thames to Houses Of Parliament and back. Fast pace for first 4 miles and then blowing out of my arse for the last 3.5.
But was a total pleasure on all fronts. To be sounder and clearer of mind after yesterday's suicidal blog entry. To be healthier. To have done an early morning meeting. To have done a therapy session. (and made her laugh. Unfortunately she was a well sexy therapist) and then this afternoon a run, injury free in warm sunshine. What is not to like about that?
Started off quick, trying to do 8 minute miles and was ultra powerful going along embankment and by the Thames to Bug Ben. Stopped and stretched. Gave a sexy female news reporter a wink by Houses of Parliament and then trundled back along the Thames. Ran out of gas after around 5 miles but kept going, no injuries, the trainers are solid and i felt good.
The only thing that let me down today was the all in one black Lycra triathlon suit i decided to wear. To be fair is camper than Glastonbury and would make Alan Carr look butch, but no matter, i was focused and grateful and happy to be out.
Did some brutal 'bastards' (cross between press up and burpee) along with 50 high wall jumps after, in full view of a load of girls in a call centre which gave them some mirth. Clearly a career as a pantomime dame is in the offering. I love it really.
And that was it. I write this at 4.30pm, with the light shining on the Thames, the chatter of the pubs with people outdoors is cranking up, there is hope, spring and optimism in the air. You can feel people feeling happier.
Off to meeting and meet pal tonight. Easy does it and I'm just pleased not to be in the Dark space i was yesterday. My god reading that was difficult, but honest.
All good today groovy gang. a short sharp interval run tomorrow along with hill sprints and long (ish) run at the weekend
groovy
xx
Oh yes now that's more like it. Sunny day, warm, day off from city. long strong run by the Thames to Houses Of Parliament and back. Fast pace for first 4 miles and then blowing out of my arse for the last 3.5.
But was a total pleasure on all fronts. To be sounder and clearer of mind after yesterday's suicidal blog entry. To be healthier. To have done an early morning meeting. To have done a therapy session. (and made her laugh. Unfortunately she was a well sexy therapist) and then this afternoon a run, injury free in warm sunshine. What is not to like about that?
Started off quick, trying to do 8 minute miles and was ultra powerful going along embankment and by the Thames to Bug Ben. Stopped and stretched. Gave a sexy female news reporter a wink by Houses of Parliament and then trundled back along the Thames. Ran out of gas after around 5 miles but kept going, no injuries, the trainers are solid and i felt good.
The only thing that let me down today was the all in one black Lycra triathlon suit i decided to wear. To be fair is camper than Glastonbury and would make Alan Carr look butch, but no matter, i was focused and grateful and happy to be out.
Did some brutal 'bastards' (cross between press up and burpee) along with 50 high wall jumps after, in full view of a load of girls in a call centre which gave them some mirth. Clearly a career as a pantomime dame is in the offering. I love it really.
And that was it. I write this at 4.30pm, with the light shining on the Thames, the chatter of the pubs with people outdoors is cranking up, there is hope, spring and optimism in the air. You can feel people feeling happier.
Off to meeting and meet pal tonight. Easy does it and I'm just pleased not to be in the Dark space i was yesterday. My god reading that was difficult, but honest.
All good today groovy gang. a short sharp interval run tomorrow along with hill sprints and long (ish) run at the weekend
groovy
xx
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Day 52 - Weds 22nd Feb
Mileage - 5; time - wasn't counting; conditions - 5.30am so i didn't notice; weekly mileage 11 miles.
It's 1.30 am Thursday morning. Can't sleep. Insomnia. Head is racing. Thoughts passing through my mind. Difficult to stop. I've tried sleeping for an hour. Obviously didn't work, so here i am. In front of my laptop with nothing more than tired eyes, dishevelled hair and Marks and Sparks pants. Not an enduring image for anyone reading this at breakfast. Still at least it's not a thong so i'll spare you that one.
Today i was ill. Fluey, really tired, feeling sick and not great. The day started OK at 5am, when i woke early, ran to Batersea Park (2.5miles) to train someone at 6am. Witnessed a sunrise that was incredible, looked like London was on fire, and then ran back again (2.5miles), so by 7.15am i already had 5 miles and a sunrise under my belt. I was ready for work. Ready to take on the day.
Well not quite, some form of unbelievable tiredness and nausea kicked in and i went back to bed to sleep for an hour. Woke up, put suit on, went into city and tried to work. Didn't feel right though, like an imposter trapped in a 3 piece suit. Ground out the day and then back home at 6pm and straight to bed to sleep for 3 hours. Then awake, felt equally as crap and vegetated on the sofa for 3 hours until trying to sleep, until i find myself here.
Feels like a system shut down today. The ultimate candida, flu type thing. It's an effort to get up, let alone to cross train or hill sprint. My closest thing to shuttle runs is really slow trips to the fridge and back to get some more apples/grapes. And working on my core involved eating Pink Ladies and Braeburns.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm 39 not 89 for Christs sakes! I think my Nan moves quicker than me on her Stanner Stairlift. I'm certainly not a great advertisement for marathon training at the moment.
I think quite possibly it's the appalling diet. 4 days of good and then 4 days of ultra bad obviously fuck my system up. So why do it? Not really sure if I'm being honest. I think I'm hell bent on smashing myself up one way or other. Maybe because deep down i truly hate myself and feel comfortable being self destructive. Trouble is when you're doing it with alcohol or drugs everyone knows about it and it's a very public destruction.
When you do it yourself with food or even just negative thinking/isolation/depression it's a silent personal thing. Like a slow death by installments without the world noticing.
You re functional. To all the world you are a normal human being. Interacting, working, showing up. But inside it's not the case, and then when the health suffers, god that is really tough and you effectively abandon ship after shutting the door.
That's whats happened tonight. It maybe just being ill. It maybe being a Man and over dramatising things. It maybe that I'm just not happy with myself or my life right now.
I hear the words ringing in my ears, 'Well do something about it then'. Which in fairness is the truth. There is no one else going to change things or hand me a different set of cards. they've got to be earned, Worked for. Sought out myself.
But tonight, it just feels too fucking hard to try. Is this what depression feels like? I've never been depressed or considered myself depressed. I understand it. Have experienced bi-polar 1st hand all my life as my eldest brother has it severely. And my heart goes out to people who have it. It is a real fucker. So i measure depression by the most severe Manic Depression and i`m certainly not that.
I also have a large does of cynicism how much depression is banded about. Like it's almost trendy for people to say 'i'm depressed'. The easy way out. Just take a pill and you'll feel better. I read that the UK is the highest consumer of anti depressants in the world. Yet a Govt survey showed the population to be 66% happy.
And what is happiness anyway? Who considers themselves happy? Someone asked me when was i last truly happy and i couldn't answer them. How sad is that?
Maybe i need more meaning and purpose to my life. I was hoping the marathon training would bring me that focus and discipline but that went out of the window long ago after the injury and then inertia and negative thinking took over. Back to the bad old me.
Another feeling is one of being overwhelmed. Like you have too many things to think of and do and can't seem to do any of them. Even the ones you do, you don`t feel you are doing good enough. Even digital media was freaking me out earlier. Hootesuite, Twitter, facebook, vimeo, video blogs, how to get bigger readership, blogging, You Tube, Google plus, Ipads. Jesus, i don't understand any of them really and that freaks me.
In fact today i am having a very manageable breakdown. Where is my money? my future? My career? What will become of me? when will i figure out what i want to do with my life? when will i grow up? How do i write better jokes?
All of the above is as mild form of panic and really it is overwhelming sometimes. Maybe it's just being tired and ill. Yes fuck it I'll put it down to that. Tomorrow is another day so they say, but to depressives that's the last thing you think of, as its just another day to 'get through'. Today just felt like one long endless frame of snooker. In the 80`s there was a player called Cliff Thorburn, who`s nickname was `The Grinder`, as he played so slow and cagey and every frame was a grim battle. He was my favourite player. I wonder why?
Today is one of those blog entries I'll regret tomorrow or when I'm feeling better. Maybe I'll read it and think, 'Man you self piteous whinging twat'. But you know what? I stated at the start i wanted to be authentic. That i would maybe write things i wish i hadn't, was embarrassed by, that i regretted. Was too open, to honest and to grim. Today is one of those occassions.
Hpwever if there is one thing i'd always like to stand by then it's the truth. authentic. No point in presenting an image, an idea of myself, of where i;m at today. Right here and now at 2 in the morning feeling blue. That makes me feel good. Courage of your convictions and the ability to carry them out. At least that makes my moral fibre strong and feel good.
What is the answer? It;s simple to live right, keep believing, get healthy (I'm sure i've said that at least 24 times in this blog) and get motoring again. 'This too shalt pass' as the saying goes and tonight Matthew i will be mostly holding on to that one. The real moral fibre and courage is engaging the act of change, in risking and trying it out. In putting in the action. Talk of change i find easy, it`s just doing it is the bastard
On that light note, i`m off to bed to dream of long games of snooker. Ironic that Cliff Thorburn, the slowest, most boring, durable, grim and dour player snooker has ever seen was a Cocaine addict. There is a certain ironic poetic humour in that which makes me smile
loves
xx
It's 1.30 am Thursday morning. Can't sleep. Insomnia. Head is racing. Thoughts passing through my mind. Difficult to stop. I've tried sleeping for an hour. Obviously didn't work, so here i am. In front of my laptop with nothing more than tired eyes, dishevelled hair and Marks and Sparks pants. Not an enduring image for anyone reading this at breakfast. Still at least it's not a thong so i'll spare you that one.
Today i was ill. Fluey, really tired, feeling sick and not great. The day started OK at 5am, when i woke early, ran to Batersea Park (2.5miles) to train someone at 6am. Witnessed a sunrise that was incredible, looked like London was on fire, and then ran back again (2.5miles), so by 7.15am i already had 5 miles and a sunrise under my belt. I was ready for work. Ready to take on the day.
Well not quite, some form of unbelievable tiredness and nausea kicked in and i went back to bed to sleep for an hour. Woke up, put suit on, went into city and tried to work. Didn't feel right though, like an imposter trapped in a 3 piece suit. Ground out the day and then back home at 6pm and straight to bed to sleep for 3 hours. Then awake, felt equally as crap and vegetated on the sofa for 3 hours until trying to sleep, until i find myself here.
Feels like a system shut down today. The ultimate candida, flu type thing. It's an effort to get up, let alone to cross train or hill sprint. My closest thing to shuttle runs is really slow trips to the fridge and back to get some more apples/grapes. And working on my core involved eating Pink Ladies and Braeburns.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm 39 not 89 for Christs sakes! I think my Nan moves quicker than me on her Stanner Stairlift. I'm certainly not a great advertisement for marathon training at the moment.
I think quite possibly it's the appalling diet. 4 days of good and then 4 days of ultra bad obviously fuck my system up. So why do it? Not really sure if I'm being honest. I think I'm hell bent on smashing myself up one way or other. Maybe because deep down i truly hate myself and feel comfortable being self destructive. Trouble is when you're doing it with alcohol or drugs everyone knows about it and it's a very public destruction.
When you do it yourself with food or even just negative thinking/isolation/depression it's a silent personal thing. Like a slow death by installments without the world noticing.
You re functional. To all the world you are a normal human being. Interacting, working, showing up. But inside it's not the case, and then when the health suffers, god that is really tough and you effectively abandon ship after shutting the door.
That's whats happened tonight. It maybe just being ill. It maybe being a Man and over dramatising things. It maybe that I'm just not happy with myself or my life right now.
I hear the words ringing in my ears, 'Well do something about it then'. Which in fairness is the truth. There is no one else going to change things or hand me a different set of cards. they've got to be earned, Worked for. Sought out myself.
But tonight, it just feels too fucking hard to try. Is this what depression feels like? I've never been depressed or considered myself depressed. I understand it. Have experienced bi-polar 1st hand all my life as my eldest brother has it severely. And my heart goes out to people who have it. It is a real fucker. So i measure depression by the most severe Manic Depression and i`m certainly not that.
I also have a large does of cynicism how much depression is banded about. Like it's almost trendy for people to say 'i'm depressed'. The easy way out. Just take a pill and you'll feel better. I read that the UK is the highest consumer of anti depressants in the world. Yet a Govt survey showed the population to be 66% happy.
And what is happiness anyway? Who considers themselves happy? Someone asked me when was i last truly happy and i couldn't answer them. How sad is that?
Maybe i need more meaning and purpose to my life. I was hoping the marathon training would bring me that focus and discipline but that went out of the window long ago after the injury and then inertia and negative thinking took over. Back to the bad old me.
Another feeling is one of being overwhelmed. Like you have too many things to think of and do and can't seem to do any of them. Even the ones you do, you don`t feel you are doing good enough. Even digital media was freaking me out earlier. Hootesuite, Twitter, facebook, vimeo, video blogs, how to get bigger readership, blogging, You Tube, Google plus, Ipads. Jesus, i don't understand any of them really and that freaks me.
In fact today i am having a very manageable breakdown. Where is my money? my future? My career? What will become of me? when will i figure out what i want to do with my life? when will i grow up? How do i write better jokes?
All of the above is as mild form of panic and really it is overwhelming sometimes. Maybe it's just being tired and ill. Yes fuck it I'll put it down to that. Tomorrow is another day so they say, but to depressives that's the last thing you think of, as its just another day to 'get through'. Today just felt like one long endless frame of snooker. In the 80`s there was a player called Cliff Thorburn, who`s nickname was `The Grinder`, as he played so slow and cagey and every frame was a grim battle. He was my favourite player. I wonder why?
Today is one of those blog entries I'll regret tomorrow or when I'm feeling better. Maybe I'll read it and think, 'Man you self piteous whinging twat'. But you know what? I stated at the start i wanted to be authentic. That i would maybe write things i wish i hadn't, was embarrassed by, that i regretted. Was too open, to honest and to grim. Today is one of those occassions.
Hpwever if there is one thing i'd always like to stand by then it's the truth. authentic. No point in presenting an image, an idea of myself, of where i;m at today. Right here and now at 2 in the morning feeling blue. That makes me feel good. Courage of your convictions and the ability to carry them out. At least that makes my moral fibre strong and feel good.
What is the answer? It;s simple to live right, keep believing, get healthy (I'm sure i've said that at least 24 times in this blog) and get motoring again. 'This too shalt pass' as the saying goes and tonight Matthew i will be mostly holding on to that one. The real moral fibre and courage is engaging the act of change, in risking and trying it out. In putting in the action. Talk of change i find easy, it`s just doing it is the bastard
On that light note, i`m off to bed to dream of long games of snooker. Ironic that Cliff Thorburn, the slowest, most boring, durable, grim and dour player snooker has ever seen was a Cocaine addict. There is a certain ironic poetic humour in that which makes me smile
loves
xx
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Day 51 - Tuesday 21st February
Mileage 6; Time - 50 minutes; Conditions - Outside - Yay! ; Weekly Mileage - 6.
Pancake Day, cue lots of Tosser banter. Well a little anyway. When did pancake day lose any excitement? I remember when i was a kid i would literally shit maple syrup in excitement. Couldnt' wait to get some of that batter mix in bowl and flip it in a saucepan. My god it was totally excellent.
I think at around the age of 10 it became somewhat of a bore, but then again i think that's the case with most things after being a kid. Maybe the answer is to try and retain some of that excitement in life. Shame that the only time i tend to get that buzz now is in the prospect of a 3 sum or getting a real bargain from a charity shop. Plenty to work on campers.
After 4 days on the diet coke, caffeine, sugar, ice cream and hot cross buns i was feeling the burn today. The wagon had overturned long ago. My confidence and self belief and desire punctured after Falling flat on my arse on comedy night. In essence i gave up doing what i had been doing. Self doubt, self negativity had taken over. The demons had moved in.
The result? Well basically as i put yesterday. Shit. It's a poor place to be. Sat in your own misery. I may as well have turned Tory. I was so low i couldn't even raise myself to abuse the TV whenever William Hague was interviewed. It;s a sad state of affairs when even that closet annoying knob head doesn't rile me.
Still, felt better as day wore on and wonderfully went for a 6 mile run this evening by the Thames. No reaction to injury, felt strong and comfortable, the night was mild and the new Brooks Bad boys are now worn in and very comfortable. Nice. I like this news very much.
Trainers are so crucial. The fact my old ones were more clapped out than The Greek economy contributed to my injury. I won't be making that mistake again. Trainers really are hugely important to Marathon or indeed any runner. I haven't yet been introduced myself to barefoot running. I think I'll leave that to the summer. But whilst the new ones are a brand about as fashionable as Nick Clegg, they will do the job and keep me supported.
Followed the run with bit of gym, strength, stretch and cycling, so felt much better than at the start of the day. Punishing 5AM start tomorrow to train someone and it's the start of lent.
Whilst it is a Christian festival and i am not Christened, nor a Christian or indeed a member of nay religious denomination. I certainly believe in a Higher Power, In a god. Just not of the religious variety.
Lent is about letting go of luxuries for 40 days. Of self denial. Discipline as a way of penance. I get that. I don't think it's a bad concept. We do away with things we have been comfortable with. Familiar with to 'level' ourselves. To become more grateful and self aware. i like that.
So, on reflection i am going to engage with lent and observe self restraint and self denial on a number of areas. masturbation, chocolate, sweets, caffeine, diet coke, sweetener, adult related literature, casual relationships, flirting, anger, criticising others, time wasting, dishonesty and avoiding 'life'.
Jesus what a list. On reflection i think if i do all that i'll have to emulate Jesus and nail myself to a cross. It's too much. Mind you it kind of shows what i fill my life up with instead of other 'wholesome' real things. Yes on hindsight i would like a simpler more spiritual life, but I'd like to play it on the X Box please, so i don't have to change. Are Nintendo bring out 'lent' soon?
No, i will go for the sugar, diet coke and caffeine again me thinks. Get some focus back and immerse myself with training and being healthy. I think if i can manage 40 days of that it may well have a good effect on my head.
So lets get stuck in people. Tell me if you're going to do anything for 40 days? I'd like to know.
Thanks for reading and following. Big wet kisses to all of you (well all 4 of you anyway!)
Big Man love
xx
Pancake Day, cue lots of Tosser banter. Well a little anyway. When did pancake day lose any excitement? I remember when i was a kid i would literally shit maple syrup in excitement. Couldnt' wait to get some of that batter mix in bowl and flip it in a saucepan. My god it was totally excellent.
I think at around the age of 10 it became somewhat of a bore, but then again i think that's the case with most things after being a kid. Maybe the answer is to try and retain some of that excitement in life. Shame that the only time i tend to get that buzz now is in the prospect of a 3 sum or getting a real bargain from a charity shop. Plenty to work on campers.
After 4 days on the diet coke, caffeine, sugar, ice cream and hot cross buns i was feeling the burn today. The wagon had overturned long ago. My confidence and self belief and desire punctured after Falling flat on my arse on comedy night. In essence i gave up doing what i had been doing. Self doubt, self negativity had taken over. The demons had moved in.
The result? Well basically as i put yesterday. Shit. It's a poor place to be. Sat in your own misery. I may as well have turned Tory. I was so low i couldn't even raise myself to abuse the TV whenever William Hague was interviewed. It;s a sad state of affairs when even that closet annoying knob head doesn't rile me.
Still, felt better as day wore on and wonderfully went for a 6 mile run this evening by the Thames. No reaction to injury, felt strong and comfortable, the night was mild and the new Brooks Bad boys are now worn in and very comfortable. Nice. I like this news very much.
Trainers are so crucial. The fact my old ones were more clapped out than The Greek economy contributed to my injury. I won't be making that mistake again. Trainers really are hugely important to Marathon or indeed any runner. I haven't yet been introduced myself to barefoot running. I think I'll leave that to the summer. But whilst the new ones are a brand about as fashionable as Nick Clegg, they will do the job and keep me supported.
Followed the run with bit of gym, strength, stretch and cycling, so felt much better than at the start of the day. Punishing 5AM start tomorrow to train someone and it's the start of lent.
Whilst it is a Christian festival and i am not Christened, nor a Christian or indeed a member of nay religious denomination. I certainly believe in a Higher Power, In a god. Just not of the religious variety.
Lent is about letting go of luxuries for 40 days. Of self denial. Discipline as a way of penance. I get that. I don't think it's a bad concept. We do away with things we have been comfortable with. Familiar with to 'level' ourselves. To become more grateful and self aware. i like that.
So, on reflection i am going to engage with lent and observe self restraint and self denial on a number of areas. masturbation, chocolate, sweets, caffeine, diet coke, sweetener, adult related literature, casual relationships, flirting, anger, criticising others, time wasting, dishonesty and avoiding 'life'.
Jesus what a list. On reflection i think if i do all that i'll have to emulate Jesus and nail myself to a cross. It's too much. Mind you it kind of shows what i fill my life up with instead of other 'wholesome' real things. Yes on hindsight i would like a simpler more spiritual life, but I'd like to play it on the X Box please, so i don't have to change. Are Nintendo bring out 'lent' soon?
No, i will go for the sugar, diet coke and caffeine again me thinks. Get some focus back and immerse myself with training and being healthy. I think if i can manage 40 days of that it may well have a good effect on my head.
So lets get stuck in people. Tell me if you're going to do anything for 40 days? I'd like to know.
Thanks for reading and following. Big wet kisses to all of you (well all 4 of you anyway!)
Big Man love
xx
Monday, February 20, 2012
Day 50 - Monday 20th Feb
Ooops today i did just stop and eat Haagen Dazs. In fact i didn't even start.
A day to forget and close the book on. Felt shit, thought shit, ate shit.
The end
x
A day to forget and close the book on. Felt shit, thought shit, ate shit.
The end
x
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Day 49 - Sunday 19th February
Hill Sprints - (or f***** b******s to normal punters)
Another early start. 6am training session in Richmond Park with client. Very cold this morning and no amount of Primark body warmers could keep the old chappy warm. Felt like winter's last throw of the cold dice. Get through this and spring will be on us. I love this time of year. Lighter, warmer and more hopeful.
It should be the time where you have done some serious mileage, where the long runs are being stepped up and training being fine tuned. 8 weeks until Marathon day today, and my training is only just beginning really.
I've accepted I'm not going to be in tip top shape to run it, as i still feel the injury and doing lots of mileage is not good for it at the moment. But at least i am training again and that is a positive.
It was a stunning morning, so i celebrated by hitting the hill in the park known as 'The Bastard'. A steep 200 metre hill by Petersham Nurseries. Long and steep and offering great views when at the top and knee trembling shits when at the bottom.
It is a tough hill and doing sprints up them makes you very tired very quickly.
There are two benches on the hill. 1st one is 1 minute sprint for short ones and 2nd is 2minutes. Today as it's 1st time back, i opted for the 1st bench.
I did 10 sprints and totalled 25 minutes on the hill in total. After sprint 4 you basically want to go home or immediately stop. It saps all strength and rips your lungs, raises heart rate like you've swallowed a case of Viagra and effectively makes you as disorientated as swallowing a load of nitrate oxide. It's a toughy.
You can go easy and cheat, but you have to go through it. I estimate you need to do it on 4-5 occasions before you get used to it and then you can really get stuck in and make improvements. This is my 1st time, so if i do it once a week, i have another 8 goes at it until marathon day. I will build up to doing the longer ones but it was a good start and mixes up training a bit.
Why do them? Well it helps to raise the heart rate, make you work at a higher intensity and mixed with longer speed work will raise fitness, lung capacity and ultimately marathon speed. Even so, i couldn't wait to have a smoke after it.
It really is a training technique where you notice smoking is not a good thing for your lungs. It's hard to do both, so you have to time it that you leave you're snout burning at the bottom of the hill, so you can have a quick pull on the way down before you tackle the hill again. I can get 3 sprints out of 1 cigarette, so if i keep training hard i will get quicker and can keep the snout burning for around 6 sprints. We all need goals in training don't we?
No chance of long one yet for a week or so. Shorter intervals will be the order of the day for next 2 weeks. Then hopefully injury would have healed totally and i will have 6 weeks to grind out some long runs. That's the plan anyway.
Then it was off to the gym, cycle, strength and sauna. No silver back today thankfully so i was able to stretch out and relax.
Aiming to eat clean today, after couple of days of Ice Cream and Chocolate munching and take things well easy. Mid afternoon snooze, bit of writing, watch the cycling on TV for Olympic test event which interests me, as they train like beasts to get maximum performance over a period of years. I'm pretty sure Silk Cut doesn't play any role in their stringent programme?
And that's another week done. Only 13 miles this week, but 13 more than the past month. Although i have been writing the blog when injured i haven't felt like i was training. So i feel i am at least back with some kind of focus and plan, so I'm really happy about that.
I write this at 5pm on a Sunny Sunday and it feels like spring is on the way, and that means Marathon is in the air. There is always a masochistic love of training during the winter. Cold and dark morning and evening runs and although you don't like them, when you emerge from Winter you look back on them with affection and pride.
I haven't really got that after being injured but i hope now to get back in the head space of training and put myself in a position to get a good time. Hopefully remain injury free and add to the whopping £30 i have raised for Action on Addiction so far.
Have lovely week peoples. My aim this week? 3 short sharp quality runs, 1 interval bastard workout, 2 bikram stretches and injury free please God.
Until the morrow le bloggers
xx
Another early start. 6am training session in Richmond Park with client. Very cold this morning and no amount of Primark body warmers could keep the old chappy warm. Felt like winter's last throw of the cold dice. Get through this and spring will be on us. I love this time of year. Lighter, warmer and more hopeful.
It should be the time where you have done some serious mileage, where the long runs are being stepped up and training being fine tuned. 8 weeks until Marathon day today, and my training is only just beginning really.
I've accepted I'm not going to be in tip top shape to run it, as i still feel the injury and doing lots of mileage is not good for it at the moment. But at least i am training again and that is a positive.
It was a stunning morning, so i celebrated by hitting the hill in the park known as 'The Bastard'. A steep 200 metre hill by Petersham Nurseries. Long and steep and offering great views when at the top and knee trembling shits when at the bottom.
It is a tough hill and doing sprints up them makes you very tired very quickly.
There are two benches on the hill. 1st one is 1 minute sprint for short ones and 2nd is 2minutes. Today as it's 1st time back, i opted for the 1st bench.
I did 10 sprints and totalled 25 minutes on the hill in total. After sprint 4 you basically want to go home or immediately stop. It saps all strength and rips your lungs, raises heart rate like you've swallowed a case of Viagra and effectively makes you as disorientated as swallowing a load of nitrate oxide. It's a toughy.
You can go easy and cheat, but you have to go through it. I estimate you need to do it on 4-5 occasions before you get used to it and then you can really get stuck in and make improvements. This is my 1st time, so if i do it once a week, i have another 8 goes at it until marathon day. I will build up to doing the longer ones but it was a good start and mixes up training a bit.
Why do them? Well it helps to raise the heart rate, make you work at a higher intensity and mixed with longer speed work will raise fitness, lung capacity and ultimately marathon speed. Even so, i couldn't wait to have a smoke after it.
It really is a training technique where you notice smoking is not a good thing for your lungs. It's hard to do both, so you have to time it that you leave you're snout burning at the bottom of the hill, so you can have a quick pull on the way down before you tackle the hill again. I can get 3 sprints out of 1 cigarette, so if i keep training hard i will get quicker and can keep the snout burning for around 6 sprints. We all need goals in training don't we?
No chance of long one yet for a week or so. Shorter intervals will be the order of the day for next 2 weeks. Then hopefully injury would have healed totally and i will have 6 weeks to grind out some long runs. That's the plan anyway.
Then it was off to the gym, cycle, strength and sauna. No silver back today thankfully so i was able to stretch out and relax.
Aiming to eat clean today, after couple of days of Ice Cream and Chocolate munching and take things well easy. Mid afternoon snooze, bit of writing, watch the cycling on TV for Olympic test event which interests me, as they train like beasts to get maximum performance over a period of years. I'm pretty sure Silk Cut doesn't play any role in their stringent programme?
And that's another week done. Only 13 miles this week, but 13 more than the past month. Although i have been writing the blog when injured i haven't felt like i was training. So i feel i am at least back with some kind of focus and plan, so I'm really happy about that.
I write this at 5pm on a Sunny Sunday and it feels like spring is on the way, and that means Marathon is in the air. There is always a masochistic love of training during the winter. Cold and dark morning and evening runs and although you don't like them, when you emerge from Winter you look back on them with affection and pride.
I haven't really got that after being injured but i hope now to get back in the head space of training and put myself in a position to get a good time. Hopefully remain injury free and add to the whopping £30 i have raised for Action on Addiction so far.
Have lovely week peoples. My aim this week? 3 short sharp quality runs, 1 interval bastard workout, 2 bikram stretches and injury free please God.
Until the morrow le bloggers
xx
Day 48 - Saturday 18th February
Miles - 5; - Time 45 minutes; total weekly mileage so far - 13.5 miles
The weekend starts here! Well it started when my alarm went off at 5.30am to train someone in Richmond park after less than 4 hours kip. I wouldn't quite say i launched myself into the day, more of a dribble. The kind of launch
One advantage to being up early is that i get to see it's getting lighter earlier now. Spring is on the way. The daffodils are budding, it was mild and i got to see the sunrise over the Thames. Delicious.
I contemplated doing sprints up the hill in Richmond Park, affectionately known as 'The Bastard'. However leg was still sore, so decided on some more soft landing treadmill action. Hills tomorrow. I still have to hold myself back and limit the mileage and intensity, which is bad for frustration but good for sloth.
So it was a steady 5 miles on the treadmill, 7 miles an hour consistent pace, breaks for stretching and followed by bur pees, interval 'bastards', pull ups, chin ups, core strengthening and stretching. All followed by sauna and steam. One advantage of the gym is this post workout relaxation.
Trouble is i belong to an unfashionable gym. Canons in Richmond, a former Squash club. So it is mostly empty, no fit women, mostly middle aged squash dudes. IT has the feel of a suburban fondue party. I should imagine it would be the kind of club that Terry and June would have belonged to.
However I like that it that the gym is not busy or pretentious. One thing bothers me though. The Sauna. It is not mixed, so no chance of the relaxed chat up to a scantily dressed beauty. The sauna is in the Gents changing room and mostly populated by large middle aged hairy men who look like David Attenborough should be doing a documentary about them.
Why do men insist on making as much noise as possible in a Sauna? Loud exhaling, slapping their chest? Rubbing the face and body, almost caressing themselves. Jesus it's not Rio's Day Spa! And then the inevitable and dreaded, 'Christ it's Hot' chat. What do they expect? It's a fucking Sauna you daft bastard.
I was settled in with my copy of The Times Sport and Razzle. Laying down relaxing, when in came the Silver back. Dominated the whole space. He was Like a larger Andy Fordham. A darts player and hairier than than a Monkey Sanctuary. He then proceeded to make me feel dreadfully uncomfortable by dropping his towel, sitting down totally starkers with his crown jewels on display around 5 yards from where is was laying. Jesus!
Legs open and not really anything to be proud of. Why do it man? Have you no dignity? I didn't want to come across as rude or British (the Germans love getting naked), and leave immediately, but i just couldn't concentrate on the paper, and when i came across an article on Male Rape increasing in numbers i abandoned ship.
Moral. Make mixed naked not same sex saunas. Still an effective weight management programme as i wasn't hungry after than for hours.
Rest of the day was spent at my Mother's being fed every 40 minutes on a continual loop, Like Yo Sushi but with Chocolate Brazil's and Fish Pie.
Saw my lovely Nieces and had nice family time.
Leg was a little painful but thankfully the head wasn't. Dropped of Niece, at loads of ice cream, went to bed. An ok day
xx
The weekend starts here! Well it started when my alarm went off at 5.30am to train someone in Richmond park after less than 4 hours kip. I wouldn't quite say i launched myself into the day, more of a dribble. The kind of launch
One advantage to being up early is that i get to see it's getting lighter earlier now. Spring is on the way. The daffodils are budding, it was mild and i got to see the sunrise over the Thames. Delicious.
I contemplated doing sprints up the hill in Richmond Park, affectionately known as 'The Bastard'. However leg was still sore, so decided on some more soft landing treadmill action. Hills tomorrow. I still have to hold myself back and limit the mileage and intensity, which is bad for frustration but good for sloth.
So it was a steady 5 miles on the treadmill, 7 miles an hour consistent pace, breaks for stretching and followed by bur pees, interval 'bastards', pull ups, chin ups, core strengthening and stretching. All followed by sauna and steam. One advantage of the gym is this post workout relaxation.
Trouble is i belong to an unfashionable gym. Canons in Richmond, a former Squash club. So it is mostly empty, no fit women, mostly middle aged squash dudes. IT has the feel of a suburban fondue party. I should imagine it would be the kind of club that Terry and June would have belonged to.
However I like that it that the gym is not busy or pretentious. One thing bothers me though. The Sauna. It is not mixed, so no chance of the relaxed chat up to a scantily dressed beauty. The sauna is in the Gents changing room and mostly populated by large middle aged hairy men who look like David Attenborough should be doing a documentary about them.
Why do men insist on making as much noise as possible in a Sauna? Loud exhaling, slapping their chest? Rubbing the face and body, almost caressing themselves. Jesus it's not Rio's Day Spa! And then the inevitable and dreaded, 'Christ it's Hot' chat. What do they expect? It's a fucking Sauna you daft bastard.
I was settled in with my copy of The Times Sport and Razzle. Laying down relaxing, when in came the Silver back. Dominated the whole space. He was Like a larger Andy Fordham. A darts player and hairier than than a Monkey Sanctuary. He then proceeded to make me feel dreadfully uncomfortable by dropping his towel, sitting down totally starkers with his crown jewels on display around 5 yards from where is was laying. Jesus!
Legs open and not really anything to be proud of. Why do it man? Have you no dignity? I didn't want to come across as rude or British (the Germans love getting naked), and leave immediately, but i just couldn't concentrate on the paper, and when i came across an article on Male Rape increasing in numbers i abandoned ship.
Moral. Make mixed naked not same sex saunas. Still an effective weight management programme as i wasn't hungry after than for hours.
Rest of the day was spent at my Mother's being fed every 40 minutes on a continual loop, Like Yo Sushi but with Chocolate Brazil's and Fish Pie.
Saw my lovely Nieces and had nice family time.
Leg was a little painful but thankfully the head wasn't. Dropped of Niece, at loads of ice cream, went to bed. An ok day
xx
Friday, February 17, 2012
Day 47 - Friday 17th February
It's Friday!!!! Hooray!!
Awoke at 7am after 3 and a bit hours kip feeling remarkably sprightly (though the massive relapse on endless diet cokes last night may have contributed)
Felt clearer, better, more positive. Looks like the 'Black Thursday' had gone. I got through the Kurt Cobain night without any dramas.
Got stuck into work and ticked off a few admin things i had been putting off for ages. To such an extent that things were piling up and i felt totally unmanageable. It;s weird how sometimes we look in all the profound and weird areas for happiness when really writing a list of simple things to do and doing them makes me feel so much better.
I guess I've fought a long and remarkably pointless and futile rebellion against 'being normal'. Result - total unmanageably, blind panic, rising fear and ultimate dissatisfaction. What a cracking formulae. I'm sure i must have Greek blood in me.
I think thetas why i can never be a manager. If i can barely manage whether to wear hair up or down in the morning, how the fuck could i manage people?
I have taken that rebellious attitude into training in the past. Doing it all my way and to hell with the advice. Result - achievements but that nagging inner truth that you could have done better or enjoyed it more by 'joining in'. Lessons to be learnt - again!
Hit the gym again after work, 3 mile treadmill run. Ultra boring, leg still minor pain bit pleased to be doing it again. I'm up early doors tomorrow training someone at 6am, so will attempt some early morning hill sprints as a reintroduction back to 'hard training'.
So the end of another week. Lessons learnt from last nights debacle?
1 - go to a meeting every day before comedy gig
2 - do more promotion and NEVER take for granted
3 - Be more focused and organised
4 - don't buy into bullshit negative thinking
5 - don't wear ultra tight jeans and short when you feel feared up.
6 - Lighten up
7 - have fun
8 - relax
9 - enjoy
10 - wear better underwear so the tight jeans don't show like you've got a perma semi
I could have added never have an Olympic size wank before the show, nor indeed try and do liver failure dying gags at the start of the evening.
So apart form crushing failure, suicidal thinking, low self esteem and acute embarrassment, i think last night went quite well.
Off to bed now Joggers.If you're reading this get out tomorrow morning and walk or run. Just do it for 45 minutes and i guarantee you will feel better about yourself. Surely that's got to be worth a box of quality street
Have a tidy weekend and here's to brutal hill sprints
xx
Awoke at 7am after 3 and a bit hours kip feeling remarkably sprightly (though the massive relapse on endless diet cokes last night may have contributed)
Felt clearer, better, more positive. Looks like the 'Black Thursday' had gone. I got through the Kurt Cobain night without any dramas.
Got stuck into work and ticked off a few admin things i had been putting off for ages. To such an extent that things were piling up and i felt totally unmanageable. It;s weird how sometimes we look in all the profound and weird areas for happiness when really writing a list of simple things to do and doing them makes me feel so much better.
I guess I've fought a long and remarkably pointless and futile rebellion against 'being normal'. Result - total unmanageably, blind panic, rising fear and ultimate dissatisfaction. What a cracking formulae. I'm sure i must have Greek blood in me.
I think thetas why i can never be a manager. If i can barely manage whether to wear hair up or down in the morning, how the fuck could i manage people?
I have taken that rebellious attitude into training in the past. Doing it all my way and to hell with the advice. Result - achievements but that nagging inner truth that you could have done better or enjoyed it more by 'joining in'. Lessons to be learnt - again!
Hit the gym again after work, 3 mile treadmill run. Ultra boring, leg still minor pain bit pleased to be doing it again. I'm up early doors tomorrow training someone at 6am, so will attempt some early morning hill sprints as a reintroduction back to 'hard training'.
So the end of another week. Lessons learnt from last nights debacle?
1 - go to a meeting every day before comedy gig
2 - do more promotion and NEVER take for granted
3 - Be more focused and organised
4 - don't buy into bullshit negative thinking
5 - don't wear ultra tight jeans and short when you feel feared up.
6 - Lighten up
7 - have fun
8 - relax
9 - enjoy
10 - wear better underwear so the tight jeans don't show like you've got a perma semi
I could have added never have an Olympic size wank before the show, nor indeed try and do liver failure dying gags at the start of the evening.
So apart form crushing failure, suicidal thinking, low self esteem and acute embarrassment, i think last night went quite well.
Off to bed now Joggers.If you're reading this get out tomorrow morning and walk or run. Just do it for 45 minutes and i guarantee you will feel better about yourself. Surely that's got to be worth a box of quality street
Have a tidy weekend and here's to brutal hill sprints
xx
Day 46 - Thursday 16th Feb
Mileage 3.5 miles, Cycle 30 mins, Pull ups, chin ups, box jumps
I scrubbed out yesterdays blog, as i wrote it at 1am after a dreadful Comedy Night and head that was gloomier than George Osbourne's pants.
To cut a long and boring story short. It was a shotgun day, i mean by that is that i had a touch of the Cobain's. A dreadful comedy night sent my head spinning. Suddenly i looked at the celining joists in a different way. Head gone.
I think i felt uneasy all day and what little confidence i had was shot to pieces upon joke after joke being met with warm indifference by the audience, lots of glitches that i found toe curlingly embarrassing and a general air of people would rather be at home watching 'Celebrity Cash in The Attic', than at my Comedy Club. To be fair i would have joined them.
For me fun was zero. I think i finally lost the will to live when the lady on the front row started playing scrabble on her IPhone. She may as well have spelt out 'Loser' on her board, as that is what the head told me.
Being self conscious, joyless and too serious whilst racked and paralysing fear is not a great place to be when you are running a comedy night. Still i got through it eventually, the good acts papering over the massive cracks
Lets just call it a bad day at the office. Move on. No dramas just don't drink 3 bottles of Brandy and smash the gaff up.
I had a day off, so i was in the gym early doors. The only way to wake up. A 3.5mile run, 30 minute cycle whilst watching The Fall Guy and reading the paper, then loads of chin ups, box jumps, bastard jumps whilst watching Homes Under The Hammer. What could be a better start to the day. All i needed was Tessa Jowell to come in and give me a blozzer and my life would be complete.
So, training slowly getting back. I reckon another 3-5 days of shorter runs and then maybe try out a longer one.
All good in the end people. Survived, now where is that fucking scrabble board. Love that game
xx
I scrubbed out yesterdays blog, as i wrote it at 1am after a dreadful Comedy Night and head that was gloomier than George Osbourne's pants.
To cut a long and boring story short. It was a shotgun day, i mean by that is that i had a touch of the Cobain's. A dreadful comedy night sent my head spinning. Suddenly i looked at the celining joists in a different way. Head gone.
I think i felt uneasy all day and what little confidence i had was shot to pieces upon joke after joke being met with warm indifference by the audience, lots of glitches that i found toe curlingly embarrassing and a general air of people would rather be at home watching 'Celebrity Cash in The Attic', than at my Comedy Club. To be fair i would have joined them.
For me fun was zero. I think i finally lost the will to live when the lady on the front row started playing scrabble on her IPhone. She may as well have spelt out 'Loser' on her board, as that is what the head told me.
Being self conscious, joyless and too serious whilst racked and paralysing fear is not a great place to be when you are running a comedy night. Still i got through it eventually, the good acts papering over the massive cracks
Lets just call it a bad day at the office. Move on. No dramas just don't drink 3 bottles of Brandy and smash the gaff up.
I had a day off, so i was in the gym early doors. The only way to wake up. A 3.5mile run, 30 minute cycle whilst watching The Fall Guy and reading the paper, then loads of chin ups, box jumps, bastard jumps whilst watching Homes Under The Hammer. What could be a better start to the day. All i needed was Tessa Jowell to come in and give me a blozzer and my life would be complete.
So, training slowly getting back. I reckon another 3-5 days of shorter runs and then maybe try out a longer one.
All good in the end people. Survived, now where is that fucking scrabble board. Love that game
xx
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Day 45 - Weds 15th February
Mileage 3; Time - all time in world; Conditions - treadmill; Weekly mileage - 3.5
Big news. Stop the press. Forget about double dip recession, austerity measures, Greek bailout, Binge Drinking Britain, Syria, the Olympics, Whitney, Duchess of Cambridge, Phil Mitchell being beaten up by his bird on Valentines Day.
Today world, i ran on a treadmill. 3 of the best of British miles. 4.8 beautiful kilometres. 27 priceless minutes. It felt good. It felt horrible, It felt and that was the main thing.
Injury felt OK, and followed by a 30 minute power cycle i was sweating like Ryan Giggs at a Family party. It was great to be back hurting myself in a good way.
Now my aim is to make this blog less hard to read, more joyous and a little lighter. The last month has been like a depressive who's run out of Prozac. A big month long sigh. Still I've learnt alot...i think.
So, here's to the rest of the training. Treadmill only for next week until i trust the injury more, get my head in the zone and a bit more determined to crack on.
It's also clear that the amount of readers is intrinsically linked to my fundraising. I noticed that so far i'm up to £30 raised and 12 readers. It's the sort of stats that effectively got Mick McArthy sacked from Wolves. Pretty disappointing if I'm being honest. Clearly work to be done.
It could be the world's least funds raised for the marathon. Man i bet the Charity are thanking their lucky stars i got involved. £30 should fund a pack of Golden Virginia and a box set of Auf Weidersen Pet for a recovering addict. Sorted.
And 12 readers of the blog. Well that's more fingers than I've got, so it's heading in the right direction. Having said that the past month has been like Eastenders on Valium, so i reckon i should be nudging 20 before the month is out. Simply colossal figures.
Bring on the morrow people. day off, gym, run, jokes, comedy club in the evening. It will be a great opportunity to practice developing a new attitude. I have not prepared one bit in the past and effectively blagged my way through. It's successful but I'm so nervous and then it goes well, I'm relieved after.
Tomorrow i will try and prepare and maintain a better attitude, lets see if i enjoy it more and relax. A full house is predicted. I see it the same as my marathon training, so it will be good to weave those together over the next 10 weeks.
See you Thursday my lovelies
toodle
x
Big news. Stop the press. Forget about double dip recession, austerity measures, Greek bailout, Binge Drinking Britain, Syria, the Olympics, Whitney, Duchess of Cambridge, Phil Mitchell being beaten up by his bird on Valentines Day.
Today world, i ran on a treadmill. 3 of the best of British miles. 4.8 beautiful kilometres. 27 priceless minutes. It felt good. It felt horrible, It felt and that was the main thing.
Injury felt OK, and followed by a 30 minute power cycle i was sweating like Ryan Giggs at a Family party. It was great to be back hurting myself in a good way.
Now my aim is to make this blog less hard to read, more joyous and a little lighter. The last month has been like a depressive who's run out of Prozac. A big month long sigh. Still I've learnt alot...i think.
So, here's to the rest of the training. Treadmill only for next week until i trust the injury more, get my head in the zone and a bit more determined to crack on.
It's also clear that the amount of readers is intrinsically linked to my fundraising. I noticed that so far i'm up to £30 raised and 12 readers. It's the sort of stats that effectively got Mick McArthy sacked from Wolves. Pretty disappointing if I'm being honest. Clearly work to be done.
It could be the world's least funds raised for the marathon. Man i bet the Charity are thanking their lucky stars i got involved. £30 should fund a pack of Golden Virginia and a box set of Auf Weidersen Pet for a recovering addict. Sorted.
And 12 readers of the blog. Well that's more fingers than I've got, so it's heading in the right direction. Having said that the past month has been like Eastenders on Valium, so i reckon i should be nudging 20 before the month is out. Simply colossal figures.
Bring on the morrow people. day off, gym, run, jokes, comedy club in the evening. It will be a great opportunity to practice developing a new attitude. I have not prepared one bit in the past and effectively blagged my way through. It's successful but I'm so nervous and then it goes well, I'm relieved after.
Tomorrow i will try and prepare and maintain a better attitude, lets see if i enjoy it more and relax. A full house is predicted. I see it the same as my marathon training, so it will be good to weave those together over the next 10 weeks.
See you Thursday my lovelies
toodle
x
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Day 44 - Tuesday 14th February
Mileage 0.5miles; Cycle - 1 hour. Back on course thank god
Happy Valentines Day to all. I hope it was full of passionate sex, sensuality and sumptuousness. Mine was full of gas and wind. Romantic it was not.
I did have a hint of romance when a lady came and sat next to me on a jam packed tube, 'Hello' i thought as she kept looking at me, unfortunately she stank of Garlic and Onion Bhaji, so that was a bit of a killer. Plus she was only eying up the better seat i was in as opposed to hers by the door. Such is life.
Today was a bit of a struggle again. I'm not going to go on, as i bore myself, let alone you guys. But i didn't feel great physically so work was a bit of a grind. Head down and drive in Rugby parlance.
I managed to get into the gym late afternoon and to a 1 hour cycle. Felt good. I then tried a half mile run on the treadmill and leg felt OK. I reckon i shall cycle lots and run a little over next week to slowly build up.
I haven't been able to do anything for last month, let alone cycle or run, so it has really messed with my head. Not being able to do hard ass CV workout means i have not had the chance to burn calories, get my circulation pumping, get the adrenaline going, get a good sweat and feel out of breath bit clearer after a work out. I've missed it and i think it has really made my head a little gloomy.
No more, back on the saddle from today and will do my CV and circuits now and get the lungs and fitness going in time to start running. That's good news. As much as Bikram Yoga has really helped my muscles, i need hard ass workouts. Both physically and mentally, so i am pleased leg OK enough to try these. It's better than i imagined and feared it would be at the weekend. I nearly won't have a reason to moan soon.
Other news today was Duchess of Cambridge, or Kate visited the Action on Addiction Charity in Liverpool, where they have funded a non alcoholic bar and 'hang out place'. Massive publicity and credibility for the charity and means that people will now have heard what i am running for. That's a good thing plus i may get to bump into Pippa soon. I've heard she's dying to meet me.
The Duchess visited recovering addicts at the centre and listened to a choir made up of former addicts singing for her. I'm presuming it wasn't 'Smack my Bitch Up', though you never know with recovering addicts. Bet she was well stocked up and offered endless roll ups and tea and digestives though, she wouldn't have gone hungry.
That's it really. Valentines Day is over for another year. i did get a lovely card through the post this morning though. My appointment at the Chlamydia Clinic confirmed. Plus i sent a card to my ex girlfriend, even if it does break the terms of my restraining order. It's worth it for her.
I'm not sure I'm a fan of the day, It does seem a bit hyped up. They do tell you to say it with flowers though. Roses from a florist means love, Chrysanthemums from Esso means it's over. Not sure which side of the fence i am on that one.
Head a bit better tonight, still no jokes today but feeling better after workout. Tomorrow i shall try and early gym session before work and get stuck in to the day.
Biggest smooches fellow bloggers - send me a message, a sign to let me know if you re reading it still. My lack of self esteem and chronic self absorbtion means I'm really not sure if you are?
It would be great to hear your thoughts on it and get some feedback.
Right I'm off to make one of those non alcoholic cocktails called the duchess. I've got my tissues and baby oil, but i think I'm getting the Middleton's mixed up?
Yours confusedly
Me
x
Happy Valentines Day to all. I hope it was full of passionate sex, sensuality and sumptuousness. Mine was full of gas and wind. Romantic it was not.
I did have a hint of romance when a lady came and sat next to me on a jam packed tube, 'Hello' i thought as she kept looking at me, unfortunately she stank of Garlic and Onion Bhaji, so that was a bit of a killer. Plus she was only eying up the better seat i was in as opposed to hers by the door. Such is life.
Today was a bit of a struggle again. I'm not going to go on, as i bore myself, let alone you guys. But i didn't feel great physically so work was a bit of a grind. Head down and drive in Rugby parlance.
I managed to get into the gym late afternoon and to a 1 hour cycle. Felt good. I then tried a half mile run on the treadmill and leg felt OK. I reckon i shall cycle lots and run a little over next week to slowly build up.
I haven't been able to do anything for last month, let alone cycle or run, so it has really messed with my head. Not being able to do hard ass CV workout means i have not had the chance to burn calories, get my circulation pumping, get the adrenaline going, get a good sweat and feel out of breath bit clearer after a work out. I've missed it and i think it has really made my head a little gloomy.
No more, back on the saddle from today and will do my CV and circuits now and get the lungs and fitness going in time to start running. That's good news. As much as Bikram Yoga has really helped my muscles, i need hard ass workouts. Both physically and mentally, so i am pleased leg OK enough to try these. It's better than i imagined and feared it would be at the weekend. I nearly won't have a reason to moan soon.
Other news today was Duchess of Cambridge, or Kate visited the Action on Addiction Charity in Liverpool, where they have funded a non alcoholic bar and 'hang out place'. Massive publicity and credibility for the charity and means that people will now have heard what i am running for. That's a good thing plus i may get to bump into Pippa soon. I've heard she's dying to meet me.
The Duchess visited recovering addicts at the centre and listened to a choir made up of former addicts singing for her. I'm presuming it wasn't 'Smack my Bitch Up', though you never know with recovering addicts. Bet she was well stocked up and offered endless roll ups and tea and digestives though, she wouldn't have gone hungry.
That's it really. Valentines Day is over for another year. i did get a lovely card through the post this morning though. My appointment at the Chlamydia Clinic confirmed. Plus i sent a card to my ex girlfriend, even if it does break the terms of my restraining order. It's worth it for her.
I'm not sure I'm a fan of the day, It does seem a bit hyped up. They do tell you to say it with flowers though. Roses from a florist means love, Chrysanthemums from Esso means it's over. Not sure which side of the fence i am on that one.
Head a bit better tonight, still no jokes today but feeling better after workout. Tomorrow i shall try and early gym session before work and get stuck in to the day.
Biggest smooches fellow bloggers - send me a message, a sign to let me know if you re reading it still. My lack of self esteem and chronic self absorbtion means I'm really not sure if you are?
It would be great to hear your thoughts on it and get some feedback.
Right I'm off to make one of those non alcoholic cocktails called the duchess. I've got my tissues and baby oil, but i think I'm getting the Middleton's mixed up?
Yours confusedly
Me
x
Monday, February 13, 2012
Day 43 - Monday 13th February
Mileage - Nah
Monday blues. Flat line day. A day equivalent to being in a coma. Unsatisfied with job, pissed off with work, feeling low, down, lazy. If i was a drink, today i would be ultra flat coke. Not even splitting my pants right up my ass could raise a smile. A joyless day with joyless people in a joyless office with a joyless head.
God. That's a storming opener huh, bet you really can't wait to read on now. Really laid down a 'hook' intro there didn't i? 'Oh my god Nick that's really hooked me into to read more, i literally can't wait for my spirits to be raised in this entry, i simply have to read on,' i bet you're thinking.
Couldn't be arsed to do gym, cycle, yoga or even a meeting. Not a good head space to be. Not a good human space to be. Slack of mind and body. Slacker even than Jordan's snatch.
I think today is one of those days to put a lid on, get an early night, consign to history as 'out of the way'. Eat clean, not do anything wrong, say anything wrong, fall out with anyone and just 'put to bed'.
Still on the plus side i was introduced to new music today, Maverick Sabre. Totally wicked and superb so that's tidy, plus of course it's Valentines day tomorrow so no doubt ladies will be swooning at my feet on the way to the office and the mailbox will be jam packed full of knickers in the post. Though to be fair I've moved so many times nobody knows my address, so that will be the reason if idon't get any cards. Thats what i'm telling myself anyway.
It's tough being the Dom Juan of Tooting. Now it's the Valentino of Isleworth. My god, such is the romance of the boy. I think it will more than likely to be a Valentines Set meal for 1 from Sainsburys called 'I can't believe your not married yet'.
Good news is Injury is a little better, so hopefully tomorrow i will get my Mojo back and get in the gym early doors and get back on the path of energy and vitality. Who knows i may even get my sense of humour back tomorrow. No jokes today, other than splitting my trousers at work in my suit all the way up my ass. Thank god for long overcoats i say otherwise the journey back home would have been really drafty. #embarrassing.
That's it joggers. That's all I've got today. The Monday Mayhem Suicide Club was averted. Here's to a banging Tuesday.
PS - re read my blog from yesterday. Yuk. I didn't like the way i came across as a preachy sanctimonious tosspot about addiction etc. Nobody likes a preacher about addiction etc. Puts people off more. I think i need to take heed from the old adage of 'attraction rather than promotion'. Makes it far more palatable me thinks and it's far groovier way to live. A bot more dignity and restraint
Hurrah i see the light today.
End of sermon
Bye
xx
Monday blues. Flat line day. A day equivalent to being in a coma. Unsatisfied with job, pissed off with work, feeling low, down, lazy. If i was a drink, today i would be ultra flat coke. Not even splitting my pants right up my ass could raise a smile. A joyless day with joyless people in a joyless office with a joyless head.
God. That's a storming opener huh, bet you really can't wait to read on now. Really laid down a 'hook' intro there didn't i? 'Oh my god Nick that's really hooked me into to read more, i literally can't wait for my spirits to be raised in this entry, i simply have to read on,' i bet you're thinking.
Couldn't be arsed to do gym, cycle, yoga or even a meeting. Not a good head space to be. Not a good human space to be. Slack of mind and body. Slacker even than Jordan's snatch.
I think today is one of those days to put a lid on, get an early night, consign to history as 'out of the way'. Eat clean, not do anything wrong, say anything wrong, fall out with anyone and just 'put to bed'.
Still on the plus side i was introduced to new music today, Maverick Sabre. Totally wicked and superb so that's tidy, plus of course it's Valentines day tomorrow so no doubt ladies will be swooning at my feet on the way to the office and the mailbox will be jam packed full of knickers in the post. Though to be fair I've moved so many times nobody knows my address, so that will be the reason if idon't get any cards. Thats what i'm telling myself anyway.
It's tough being the Dom Juan of Tooting. Now it's the Valentino of Isleworth. My god, such is the romance of the boy. I think it will more than likely to be a Valentines Set meal for 1 from Sainsburys called 'I can't believe your not married yet'.
Good news is Injury is a little better, so hopefully tomorrow i will get my Mojo back and get in the gym early doors and get back on the path of energy and vitality. Who knows i may even get my sense of humour back tomorrow. No jokes today, other than splitting my trousers at work in my suit all the way up my ass. Thank god for long overcoats i say otherwise the journey back home would have been really drafty. #embarrassing.
That's it joggers. That's all I've got today. The Monday Mayhem Suicide Club was averted. Here's to a banging Tuesday.
PS - re read my blog from yesterday. Yuk. I didn't like the way i came across as a preachy sanctimonious tosspot about addiction etc. Nobody likes a preacher about addiction etc. Puts people off more. I think i need to take heed from the old adage of 'attraction rather than promotion'. Makes it far more palatable me thinks and it's far groovier way to live. A bot more dignity and restraint
Hurrah i see the light today.
End of sermon
Bye
xx
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Day 42 - Sunday 12th February
Mileage - Back to Nil
Today should all be about the Long one. Freezing cold but clear and crisp. The ideal morning to run long. But the only long one I'll be handling today is.......well you know what. The leg is back to where i was 3 weeks ago. Painful and swollen. No training for me today.
Woke to the news that Whitney Houston died last night. 48 years old. In the bath in a hotel suite. Years of heavy drug and alcohol abuse. Clearly the disease of addiction claims another life. It was all over the news, TV, radio. Interviews with so many music figures and rent a celebs giving their opinion. Made me reconfirm why doing the marathon for an addiction charity is right - even if it raises profile by 1 person, it;s worth it. As long as they sponsor me for a few grand.
Not one mentioned the word 'addiction'. 'disease' or 'recovery'. All talked how sad and tragic it was. And yes of course it is undoubtedly. It made me think how much this country sweeps addiction under the carpet. How little is known, how much ignorance there is about it. If she died from another disease there would have been awareness and publicity about that illness. Instead addiction claims another life and still it is ignored. Jesus what more evidence people want?
But she was famous and a celebrity and had access to any excess she wanted Nick. Surely 'thats showbiz'? Well with respect. Bollocks. 500 people die every day from addiction/alcoholism. Nearly all of them are nomads, unknowns. Slowly declining into the disease until they are alone as no-one can handle an out and out addict in the end. Ill and in most cases, dead. Family mortified, leaving a trail of destruction and broken heartedness and chaos in it's wake. Yes addiction is a voracious predator.
That's the slow decline and grisly end. Most feel it is so sad as they see it as so unnecessary. So needless. She had everything, money, fame, power, talent. Well means fuck all when you're in the grips of life threatening illness. And if the sufferer denies it's existence, scarily most in society also 'don't get it'. What chance to the rest have?
I've seen it in my own family. slow descent, chaos all round and then my old man effectively 'stopped living' for the final 25 years of his life. Ceasing to be part of life. Living to drink and drinking to die.
I don't know how i feel about Whitney. I didn't know her, she's not family or friend. I didn't particularly care much for her music, though i did have my first blow job to 'i wanna dance with somebody'. Obviously i'm sad another life is claimed by addiction. Gives me a good reason to carry on with the www.actiononaddiction.co.uk charity for the marathon. Seems right for me.
One thing i would say though, Musicians with Drug problems clearly need to be careful in the bathroom. Jim Morrison died in the bath, Elvis on the toilet and Whitney in the shower. It's not drugs they should be banning. Clearly Bathrooms are way too dangerous.
Oh, and today? Me?
Osteo treatment early doors to batter the gristly injury. Hurt like hell but i liked it. Quick cycle and weights in Gym. Out of town for massive lunch and was introduced to Maverick Sabre (not personally but his music, wicked)
Injury a little better than before and plenty of ice, just in case I'm not cold enough outside!
Head not too bad today. Reconnected with the whole addiction thing and looking forward to a busy week, Valentines should be massive as I'm expecting loads of cards, working, comedy club this Thursday and will get to yoga and gym as much as possible.
Bikram has helped allot with my suppleness of muscles, so at least I'm doing something right these days.
One last thing, no-one is sponsoring me! Leave a comment or request if you want me to write on a subject or do stuff that will make you sponsor me. Let me know on Facebook or on this blog or itsevo@hotmail.com.
Leave a request and lets get my fundraising started!
Evo
xx
Today should all be about the Long one. Freezing cold but clear and crisp. The ideal morning to run long. But the only long one I'll be handling today is.......well you know what. The leg is back to where i was 3 weeks ago. Painful and swollen. No training for me today.
Woke to the news that Whitney Houston died last night. 48 years old. In the bath in a hotel suite. Years of heavy drug and alcohol abuse. Clearly the disease of addiction claims another life. It was all over the news, TV, radio. Interviews with so many music figures and rent a celebs giving their opinion. Made me reconfirm why doing the marathon for an addiction charity is right - even if it raises profile by 1 person, it;s worth it. As long as they sponsor me for a few grand.
Not one mentioned the word 'addiction'. 'disease' or 'recovery'. All talked how sad and tragic it was. And yes of course it is undoubtedly. It made me think how much this country sweeps addiction under the carpet. How little is known, how much ignorance there is about it. If she died from another disease there would have been awareness and publicity about that illness. Instead addiction claims another life and still it is ignored. Jesus what more evidence people want?
But she was famous and a celebrity and had access to any excess she wanted Nick. Surely 'thats showbiz'? Well with respect. Bollocks. 500 people die every day from addiction/alcoholism. Nearly all of them are nomads, unknowns. Slowly declining into the disease until they are alone as no-one can handle an out and out addict in the end. Ill and in most cases, dead. Family mortified, leaving a trail of destruction and broken heartedness and chaos in it's wake. Yes addiction is a voracious predator.
That's the slow decline and grisly end. Most feel it is so sad as they see it as so unnecessary. So needless. She had everything, money, fame, power, talent. Well means fuck all when you're in the grips of life threatening illness. And if the sufferer denies it's existence, scarily most in society also 'don't get it'. What chance to the rest have?
I've seen it in my own family. slow descent, chaos all round and then my old man effectively 'stopped living' for the final 25 years of his life. Ceasing to be part of life. Living to drink and drinking to die.
I don't know how i feel about Whitney. I didn't know her, she's not family or friend. I didn't particularly care much for her music, though i did have my first blow job to 'i wanna dance with somebody'. Obviously i'm sad another life is claimed by addiction. Gives me a good reason to carry on with the www.actiononaddiction.co.uk charity for the marathon. Seems right for me.
One thing i would say though, Musicians with Drug problems clearly need to be careful in the bathroom. Jim Morrison died in the bath, Elvis on the toilet and Whitney in the shower. It's not drugs they should be banning. Clearly Bathrooms are way too dangerous.
Oh, and today? Me?
Osteo treatment early doors to batter the gristly injury. Hurt like hell but i liked it. Quick cycle and weights in Gym. Out of town for massive lunch and was introduced to Maverick Sabre (not personally but his music, wicked)
Injury a little better than before and plenty of ice, just in case I'm not cold enough outside!
Head not too bad today. Reconnected with the whole addiction thing and looking forward to a busy week, Valentines should be massive as I'm expecting loads of cards, working, comedy club this Thursday and will get to yoga and gym as much as possible.
Bikram has helped allot with my suppleness of muscles, so at least I'm doing something right these days.
One last thing, no-one is sponsoring me! Leave a comment or request if you want me to write on a subject or do stuff that will make you sponsor me. Let me know on Facebook or on this blog or itsevo@hotmail.com.
Leave a request and lets get my fundraising started!
Evo
xx
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Day 41 - Saturday 11th February - OH NO!
MILEAGE - 6; TIME - 52 MINUTES; CONDITIONS - BEAUTIFUL - WEEKLY MILEAGE - 10
And it was all going sooooooo well. Woke up to a beautiful stunning sunny morning by the Thames. Clear as a bell, not a cloud in the sky, bright sunshine and freezing cold. Perfect morning to get back outside and recommit to le Marathon.
After a good hour of indecision, Early morning meeting? Yoga then run? Gym? Run inside? Outside? Run then meeting? I finally decided to get out in the cold and run. Jesus being me is exhausting sometimes. Does it really matter which order? It's like a mental OCD thing.
Strapped on the leggings, compression tops, hats, gloves and new trainers. Did a stretch and off i went. Aimed to run for 50 minutes up the embankment by the Thames to MI5 building and back (staying in Chelsea Harbour at moment)
I started gently and took it easy. Settled into a nice rthymn, passed lots of fellow runners and felt really good. Strong, pretty energetic. Left hip and hamstring sore and stiff but that's standard. Yes, i was back!
And then........disaster. Pain started in the shin again after 35 minutes. I carried on for a bit until 45 minutes i stopped and walked. Big pain in same place. Slowly jogged home to notch up the 6 miles, but the injury was back.
Iced it and stretched and whilst it hurt, it wasn't too inflamed and it didn't squeak. I thought I'd got away with it. Just a little more rest.
Off i went to Bikram Yoga for a mighty stretch and then nipped into Soho for some new snakeskin boots and a cock ring (i lied about the last one) Got the wicked boots and walked back with them, but leg hurt like buggery so on went the old footwear and i got back at 4pm, ready to collapse on sofa and watch Italy v England.
It was worse. Full creaky tendonitis thing, inflamed and painful. It was exactly the same as before. I am gutted. Devastated. It's going to be another 3 weeks at least. I can't see any training and i am back to square one.
I iced, elevated it, compressed it and watched England v Itlia whilst drowning my sorrows by relapsing on diet coke and multiple snouts. The nearest i got to healthy living was the frozen peas on my shin..................
So really to cut the case. FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!
Did i do too much? Should i have capped all running at 3 miles? Did i not stretch enough? Are my running days over? Is it the problem with my hip? I'm going to have to run long at some point. When will it be better? Can i run the marathon? Am i going to be able to train? Why am i asking so many questions? What is the world record of questions in one sentence?
In short, who knows to any of it. I'm going to have to really eat clean, keep off the caffeine and sweetener, rehab hard, stretch loads in yoga and maybe as someone suggested today try running in a pool. Work my ass off to make sure I'm right and in good shape mentally and physically.
I certainly feel better than 2 weeks ago after the caffeine/sweetener thing. Head is better, so clearly that is my goal., If i can retain my sense of humour, positivity and attitude in the next 2-4 weeks, however long before i am 100% fit to train then i reckon this journey will have been very worthwhile.
As they say, don't get too wrapped up in the time, in the end part, it's about the journey to get there. Even if i don't achieve 3hours 30, maybe this Marathon will be the one where i learn the most about myself.
How can i get too depressed about tendonitis when there are people out there who have permanent disability and misfortune. I am lucky, as i said in my prayers this morning. I am one of the fortunate ones.
Yes i have an alcoholic head that is tough to live with sometimes. demons, self hatred and destruction are never far away. Yes i get hugely resentful, am quick to temper and feel a little unfulfilled with my professional life and income. Yes i can't commit to a long term meaningful relationship and yes i live in large doses of fear for too much of my life.
But i am lucky. This injury will heal. I will run the marathon eventually and i will learn new things about myself. I don't know why i feel like this today but it's reality isn't it? There are many poor bastards out there who would kill to be in my position, so man up Evans and go with the flow.
Booked an Osteopath session early doors tomorrow. The running will have to wait, as will the new snakeskin cowboy boots even though they are well lush. As my Nan says, 'Nobody likes a moaner' - I may just take heed of that wise old 96 year old for once in my life.
Enjoy the weekend peeps and here's to Wales turning over the sweatys tomorrow
xx
And it was all going sooooooo well. Woke up to a beautiful stunning sunny morning by the Thames. Clear as a bell, not a cloud in the sky, bright sunshine and freezing cold. Perfect morning to get back outside and recommit to le Marathon.
After a good hour of indecision, Early morning meeting? Yoga then run? Gym? Run inside? Outside? Run then meeting? I finally decided to get out in the cold and run. Jesus being me is exhausting sometimes. Does it really matter which order? It's like a mental OCD thing.
Strapped on the leggings, compression tops, hats, gloves and new trainers. Did a stretch and off i went. Aimed to run for 50 minutes up the embankment by the Thames to MI5 building and back (staying in Chelsea Harbour at moment)
I started gently and took it easy. Settled into a nice rthymn, passed lots of fellow runners and felt really good. Strong, pretty energetic. Left hip and hamstring sore and stiff but that's standard. Yes, i was back!
And then........disaster. Pain started in the shin again after 35 minutes. I carried on for a bit until 45 minutes i stopped and walked. Big pain in same place. Slowly jogged home to notch up the 6 miles, but the injury was back.
Iced it and stretched and whilst it hurt, it wasn't too inflamed and it didn't squeak. I thought I'd got away with it. Just a little more rest.
Off i went to Bikram Yoga for a mighty stretch and then nipped into Soho for some new snakeskin boots and a cock ring (i lied about the last one) Got the wicked boots and walked back with them, but leg hurt like buggery so on went the old footwear and i got back at 4pm, ready to collapse on sofa and watch Italy v England.
It was worse. Full creaky tendonitis thing, inflamed and painful. It was exactly the same as before. I am gutted. Devastated. It's going to be another 3 weeks at least. I can't see any training and i am back to square one.
I iced, elevated it, compressed it and watched England v Itlia whilst drowning my sorrows by relapsing on diet coke and multiple snouts. The nearest i got to healthy living was the frozen peas on my shin..................
So really to cut the case. FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!
Did i do too much? Should i have capped all running at 3 miles? Did i not stretch enough? Are my running days over? Is it the problem with my hip? I'm going to have to run long at some point. When will it be better? Can i run the marathon? Am i going to be able to train? Why am i asking so many questions? What is the world record of questions in one sentence?
In short, who knows to any of it. I'm going to have to really eat clean, keep off the caffeine and sweetener, rehab hard, stretch loads in yoga and maybe as someone suggested today try running in a pool. Work my ass off to make sure I'm right and in good shape mentally and physically.
I certainly feel better than 2 weeks ago after the caffeine/sweetener thing. Head is better, so clearly that is my goal., If i can retain my sense of humour, positivity and attitude in the next 2-4 weeks, however long before i am 100% fit to train then i reckon this journey will have been very worthwhile.
As they say, don't get too wrapped up in the time, in the end part, it's about the journey to get there. Even if i don't achieve 3hours 30, maybe this Marathon will be the one where i learn the most about myself.
How can i get too depressed about tendonitis when there are people out there who have permanent disability and misfortune. I am lucky, as i said in my prayers this morning. I am one of the fortunate ones.
Yes i have an alcoholic head that is tough to live with sometimes. demons, self hatred and destruction are never far away. Yes i get hugely resentful, am quick to temper and feel a little unfulfilled with my professional life and income. Yes i can't commit to a long term meaningful relationship and yes i live in large doses of fear for too much of my life.
But i am lucky. This injury will heal. I will run the marathon eventually and i will learn new things about myself. I don't know why i feel like this today but it's reality isn't it? There are many poor bastards out there who would kill to be in my position, so man up Evans and go with the flow.
Booked an Osteopath session early doors tomorrow. The running will have to wait, as will the new snakeskin cowboy boots even though they are well lush. As my Nan says, 'Nobody likes a moaner' - I may just take heed of that wise old 96 year old for once in my life.
Enjoy the weekend peeps and here's to Wales turning over the sweatys tomorrow
xx
Friday, February 10, 2012
Day 40 - Friday 10th Feb - I'm Back!!!!
Mileage 4; Time - who gives a f***; Conditions - Pain free; Weekly mileage - 4
That's right baby, the boy is back. Not quite so much with a vengeance, more with a smirk.
Completed 4 steady miles on the treadmill in the gym tonight. Concentrated on form, stood tall, tried to pick knees up and felt pretty dame good. No pain in the injury and touch wood or boner i'll stay injury free for the next 9 weeks. Get in!
3 weeks tomorrow since i last ran. In that time hell has almost frozen over, well the serpentine anyway. An Italian Ship has capsized, The Captain ran away, very much like the England Manager, Harry Redknapp got away with tax evasion, even though everyone knows he loves more bungs than a shot putter. The country has shit down in a frozen mess and Jordan has been through more guys than i have bandages.
Still never mind, as Elton John once sang, 'I'm still standing', though to be fair he also sang, 'like a candle in the wind', though that i usually reserve for Bikram Yoga,
The boy is back on the training trail. I feel reborn. With purpose again. Foggy head no more. My next 9 weeks are simple. Train smart and go hard or go home.
Slight concern with the new trainers and inserts. He built up the orthodontics super high on instep and makes top of left foot hurt. Maybe that i'm not used to it but i will have to watch out, as it's common to get another injury to compensate for the last - but i'm just pleased to be back. Though to be fair - i could have smiled and not looked so miserable - and looked a right prick in the gym taking a pic of worself.
So onwards and upwards soldiers. Going outdoors early doors to knock out a 4-6 miler and it will be a pleasure to freeze my conkers off just to be back on the marathon trail
Have a tidy weekend campers
xx
That's right baby, the boy is back. Not quite so much with a vengeance, more with a smirk.
Completed 4 steady miles on the treadmill in the gym tonight. Concentrated on form, stood tall, tried to pick knees up and felt pretty dame good. No pain in the injury and touch wood or boner i'll stay injury free for the next 9 weeks. Get in!
3 weeks tomorrow since i last ran. In that time hell has almost frozen over, well the serpentine anyway. An Italian Ship has capsized, The Captain ran away, very much like the England Manager, Harry Redknapp got away with tax evasion, even though everyone knows he loves more bungs than a shot putter. The country has shit down in a frozen mess and Jordan has been through more guys than i have bandages.
Still never mind, as Elton John once sang, 'I'm still standing', though to be fair he also sang, 'like a candle in the wind', though that i usually reserve for Bikram Yoga,
The boy is back on the training trail. I feel reborn. With purpose again. Foggy head no more. My next 9 weeks are simple. Train smart and go hard or go home.
Slight concern with the new trainers and inserts. He built up the orthodontics super high on instep and makes top of left foot hurt. Maybe that i'm not used to it but i will have to watch out, as it's common to get another injury to compensate for the last - but i'm just pleased to be back. Though to be fair - i could have smiled and not looked so miserable - and looked a right prick in the gym taking a pic of worself.
Thats me Happy!
Have a tidy weekend campers
xx
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Day 39 - Thursday 9th February
OK peeps, it's 12.30am Friday morning. I've just done a 14 hour day, just back home, it;s started to snow and guess what. I'm feeling chipper. Unbelievable.
No training of anything today. No time as full day at work and event tonight. Effectively loads of people standing around drinking and talking Rugby. (It was a 6 Nations Q & A networking thingy i organised for www.WelbeckGroup.co.uk where i ponce about as a Marketing Manager)
I met a guy who owns a chain of physio places in London, www.sixphysio.co.uk which was quite handy. They do running coaching, technique and is full of marathon runners, women physios who have done ironmen. I think i may try that as i am a 2 time Ironman, so maybe they'll 'do me'. Sorry.
I do need some good coaching tips and some quality training advice, so i will try that next week.
Building up to running again, i have my new trainers and inserts ready, though they will take breaking in, so i 've got to reign myself in and hold back a little. Looks like it could be the treadmill as more snow than China white is forecast.
That brings up the eternal debate - treadmill v Outdoors? Me personally it's outdoors all day long. Treadmill is no place to prepare for long runs, however i am told it is good to do short sharp runs and some intervals on treadmill in front of a mirror so you can check out technique and form. I get into lazy habits when i run long outdoors and that's when bad technique causes problems. I took note of said advice and look forward to ignoring it to my peril over the next few weeks as per usual.
That's it really today folks. Energy better today. Head reasonably clear, though a large does of low self esteem at the event tonight, though i put that down to alcoholic head syndrome. Par for the course sometimes.
Looking forward to my 6 hour 2 mile journey in rush hour tomorrow morning, No doubt TFL are getting their snow excuses in early. We shall see.
Hoping to get on a treadmill for a 3 miler tomorrow evening, though if I'm being honest i hate running for 3 miles, hardly seems worth it. Like ordering half a pint. Whats the point?
Still bring it on. Fingers crossed injury will be OK, trainers will fit my running feet and all will be groovy. Lets wait and see. Then we can all breath again and get on with our lives. The last 3 weeks has been painful but there is clear skies above finally and no Prozac was required.
Love n stuff
Me
x
No training of anything today. No time as full day at work and event tonight. Effectively loads of people standing around drinking and talking Rugby. (It was a 6 Nations Q & A networking thingy i organised for www.WelbeckGroup.co.uk where i ponce about as a Marketing Manager)
I met a guy who owns a chain of physio places in London, www.sixphysio.co.uk which was quite handy. They do running coaching, technique and is full of marathon runners, women physios who have done ironmen. I think i may try that as i am a 2 time Ironman, so maybe they'll 'do me'. Sorry.
I do need some good coaching tips and some quality training advice, so i will try that next week.
Building up to running again, i have my new trainers and inserts ready, though they will take breaking in, so i 've got to reign myself in and hold back a little. Looks like it could be the treadmill as more snow than China white is forecast.
That brings up the eternal debate - treadmill v Outdoors? Me personally it's outdoors all day long. Treadmill is no place to prepare for long runs, however i am told it is good to do short sharp runs and some intervals on treadmill in front of a mirror so you can check out technique and form. I get into lazy habits when i run long outdoors and that's when bad technique causes problems. I took note of said advice and look forward to ignoring it to my peril over the next few weeks as per usual.
That's it really today folks. Energy better today. Head reasonably clear, though a large does of low self esteem at the event tonight, though i put that down to alcoholic head syndrome. Par for the course sometimes.
Looking forward to my 6 hour 2 mile journey in rush hour tomorrow morning, No doubt TFL are getting their snow excuses in early. We shall see.
Hoping to get on a treadmill for a 3 miler tomorrow evening, though if I'm being honest i hate running for 3 miles, hardly seems worth it. Like ordering half a pint. Whats the point?
Still bring it on. Fingers crossed injury will be OK, trainers will fit my running feet and all will be groovy. Lets wait and see. Then we can all breath again and get on with our lives. The last 3 weeks has been painful but there is clear skies above finally and no Prozac was required.
Love n stuff
Me
x
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Day 38 - Weds 8th February
Jesus Christ what a day for news! Amazing, so much has happened. Capello resigns as England Manager, Redknapp Not guilty of tax evasion and i have just been cleared to run again in 2 days time.
Why the f*** didn't Sky lead with that news story? Devastating. I am clearly only a legend in my own living room
Superb news though. I had an amazingly good Osteopathy and Cranial Healing session. The leg is getting better and toxins being flushed out. I'm stocking up on Andrex for tonight as the treatments always make me shit big and sleep deep. Love the treatments though, manipulating and rotating the joints like a Dutch stag party.
It made me think Osteopath v Physiotherapist? Anyone has been injured always looks at the best treatment possible. Sometimes it gets confusing and time consuming and expensive. In my experience that's twice now that Osteopathy has got the root of whole problem and healed me quicker. I'm sold on that one from now on.
A Quick plug for My superb sister in law Margarita Corbo, a great Osteopath and Healer and anyone in SE London should see her. Go girl, you are a total rock star. She has rebuilt this stiff long streak of piss and made him more flexible than a personal loan, suptle and feeling ready for the weekend. Bring on the sub zero!
I have been told not to do too much too soon. I will learn my lesson from before not to be a stupid twat and do things gradually. A gentle 38 miler for me then.
I spoke to a few people who have been reading the blog and they all said the last 2 weeks have been tough reading it. Grim and slightly dull and depressing. Really? Try being in my head then! No not really - i agree it was gloomy and must have been harder reading than Martin Aimless - but the real deal is being honest and truthful. This training process is a journey full of ups and downs, moods and changes. The last 2 weeks have been my Radiohead stage, so those who have held on can look forward to my George Michael stage. 'What's that i hear you think? Upbeat, dancey and talented but a little difficult?'
Well no, I'm basically adding cottaging into my training routine, especially at night to police officers. I feel this will essentially help my performance. Will see how it goes.
So today, after a Bikram Yoga class that was peaceful and undramatic and fucking warm! i had the treatment and wrote some jokes. Still feeling groggy but getting better, 9 days without diet coke and although it will take time I'm definately moving forward. Once the weekend comes i will be truly back on track. Back running. Back Training and I'm looking forward to it already.
Will spend evening watching the earth shattering news that Capello has been cleared of Tax evasion and England Manager Harry Redknapp has quit to join the HMRC as Director Of Football. Er i think.
Now where's that Andrex......?
Until tomorrow Joggers
NE
x
Why the f*** didn't Sky lead with that news story? Devastating. I am clearly only a legend in my own living room
Superb news though. I had an amazingly good Osteopathy and Cranial Healing session. The leg is getting better and toxins being flushed out. I'm stocking up on Andrex for tonight as the treatments always make me shit big and sleep deep. Love the treatments though, manipulating and rotating the joints like a Dutch stag party.
It made me think Osteopath v Physiotherapist? Anyone has been injured always looks at the best treatment possible. Sometimes it gets confusing and time consuming and expensive. In my experience that's twice now that Osteopathy has got the root of whole problem and healed me quicker. I'm sold on that one from now on.
A Quick plug for My superb sister in law Margarita Corbo, a great Osteopath and Healer and anyone in SE London should see her. Go girl, you are a total rock star. She has rebuilt this stiff long streak of piss and made him more flexible than a personal loan, suptle and feeling ready for the weekend. Bring on the sub zero!
I have been told not to do too much too soon. I will learn my lesson from before not to be a stupid twat and do things gradually. A gentle 38 miler for me then.
I spoke to a few people who have been reading the blog and they all said the last 2 weeks have been tough reading it. Grim and slightly dull and depressing. Really? Try being in my head then! No not really - i agree it was gloomy and must have been harder reading than Martin Aimless - but the real deal is being honest and truthful. This training process is a journey full of ups and downs, moods and changes. The last 2 weeks have been my Radiohead stage, so those who have held on can look forward to my George Michael stage. 'What's that i hear you think? Upbeat, dancey and talented but a little difficult?'
Well no, I'm basically adding cottaging into my training routine, especially at night to police officers. I feel this will essentially help my performance. Will see how it goes.
So today, after a Bikram Yoga class that was peaceful and undramatic and fucking warm! i had the treatment and wrote some jokes. Still feeling groggy but getting better, 9 days without diet coke and although it will take time I'm definately moving forward. Once the weekend comes i will be truly back on track. Back running. Back Training and I'm looking forward to it already.
Will spend evening watching the earth shattering news that Capello has been cleared of Tax evasion and England Manager Harry Redknapp has quit to join the HMRC as Director Of Football. Er i think.
Now where's that Andrex......?
Until tomorrow Joggers
NE
x
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Day 37 - Tuesday 7th January
The recovery continues.
I'm sat here, at midnight, with temperatures lower than an OAP's balls, wrapped up in layers of warmth reflecting on a pretty decent day.
Woke up at 6am after not much sleep but for the first time in 2 weeks no foggy eyes and i had energy. I actually felt like getting out of bed and facing the day for first time in a good few weeks. Result!
The fact i got out of bed and then hopped straight back in as it was freezing is unimportant. I had the intention if not the execution.
My attitude and head was clearer. No delays on tube, no negative thoughts and managed to write a joke on way in to work.
Busy day at work and i felt like i did a good solid honest day. It does make you feel good when you are productive. So unlike me.
The injury continues to heal. The energy slowly returns as i enter my 8th day without caffeine and sweetener. Remarkable.
The temperature dropped throughout the day, after it being beautiful. Crystal clear and colder than a Frigid convention. Semi pleased i don't have to run tonight. I am definitely a pussy when it comes to the cold. Hardy and hardcore i am not when it's so cold. Watching runners pass me by without hats, gloves and ski suits made me wonder how they do it. Big respect.
Did another Bikram Class at night. Too warm up and also stretch. I was a little tired and the over gay teacher annoyed me. Banging on about Bikram and overdoing the lectures on the do's and don'ts. Plus the fucker kept on picking on me, so i had a little mini strop and refused to do the things he told me to do.
I'm such a moody little child sometimes. I almost dropped my dummy in awkward pose. Still i got away without making a scene and thanked him for the class after. Hiding my searing resentment of him and his class.
That's it really, not alot of interest today. Getting Osteopathy tomorrow which will be great. Semi day off (that's a half day not a day off from getting a semi hard on) and will try to maintain the clean week so far.
Will get stuck into the blog abit tomorrow to try and redress the miserable 2 weeks entries and explore a couple of themes i have been meaning to write about. Looking good to get back running for the week. So all is moving in the right direction.
Head pretty chilled today but little in the way of humour at 12pm after long long day
Until tomorrow jogger bloggers
Peace and stuff
xx
I'm sat here, at midnight, with temperatures lower than an OAP's balls, wrapped up in layers of warmth reflecting on a pretty decent day.
Woke up at 6am after not much sleep but for the first time in 2 weeks no foggy eyes and i had energy. I actually felt like getting out of bed and facing the day for first time in a good few weeks. Result!
The fact i got out of bed and then hopped straight back in as it was freezing is unimportant. I had the intention if not the execution.
My attitude and head was clearer. No delays on tube, no negative thoughts and managed to write a joke on way in to work.
Busy day at work and i felt like i did a good solid honest day. It does make you feel good when you are productive. So unlike me.
The injury continues to heal. The energy slowly returns as i enter my 8th day without caffeine and sweetener. Remarkable.
The temperature dropped throughout the day, after it being beautiful. Crystal clear and colder than a Frigid convention. Semi pleased i don't have to run tonight. I am definitely a pussy when it comes to the cold. Hardy and hardcore i am not when it's so cold. Watching runners pass me by without hats, gloves and ski suits made me wonder how they do it. Big respect.
Did another Bikram Class at night. Too warm up and also stretch. I was a little tired and the over gay teacher annoyed me. Banging on about Bikram and overdoing the lectures on the do's and don'ts. Plus the fucker kept on picking on me, so i had a little mini strop and refused to do the things he told me to do.
I'm such a moody little child sometimes. I almost dropped my dummy in awkward pose. Still i got away without making a scene and thanked him for the class after. Hiding my searing resentment of him and his class.
That's it really, not alot of interest today. Getting Osteopathy tomorrow which will be great. Semi day off (that's a half day not a day off from getting a semi hard on) and will try to maintain the clean week so far.
Will get stuck into the blog abit tomorrow to try and redress the miserable 2 weeks entries and explore a couple of themes i have been meaning to write about. Looking good to get back running for the week. So all is moving in the right direction.
Head pretty chilled today but little in the way of humour at 12pm after long long day
Until tomorrow jogger bloggers
Peace and stuff
xx
Monday, February 6, 2012
Day 36 - Monday 6th Feb - I'm Alive!
I'm alive!
7 days without diet coke and caffeine today! I have felt like a freshly squeezed dog shit for 2 weeks and a real miserable bastard, but tonight i did a Bikram Yoga class (still can't run for a week or so) and i had energy and came out feeling like a member of the human race. I'm alive. Hooray!!
Apologies to anyone who has continued to read this blog over the past 2 weeks (is there anyone still reading it?) I've been in a dark space. But tonight I've felt some green shoots of humanity returning.
As you know I've been Unable to run, feeling crappy and put on 4lbs so my ultra skinny fit tailored suits and waistcoats have felt like a straight jacket. But tonight i had energy in yoga and could feel the slight pang of the real energy sprouting through the false saccharine fug i have been so used to. Still a long way to go though, but it's great to have some optimism and lightness back.
I have to admit i didn't start off like that this morning. 7am alarm and the day was greeted with a sigh. I told myself in morning prayers, meditation and pages to look more positively on life and to try to change the head. To greet adversity with a positive mindset.
I was lucky then that the commute into work gave me so many chances to work on my attitude.
2 delayed trains immediately greeted me at the station. Next 3 were too busy to get and and the 4th was so crowded i was almost being humped all the way to Shepherds Bush by a guy with Garlic breath and a big woman with more rolls than Greggs. I was not happy.
Then Shepherds Bush escalator broke, resulting in charge of the light brigade for the stairs, and the central line had minor delays, that were as minor as terminal cancer. The snow had clearly fucked the entire West London transport system. After 50 minutes i was literally loving this opportunity to turn this into a positive.
It was the same last week, but last week when i was feeling so rough, so self obsessed and insular - i wanted to exterminate all TFL employees and their families. Today i just waited, read and thought, bugger it. Improvements!
The attitude grew better throughout the day. Telling myself to be nice and smile to the people at work i hold deep resentments about. Result. A better day and response from said people. Weird that?
And tonight? well the injury still not amazing, but definately better than a week ago, so that is positive and i did my 3rd Yoga class in 4 days and as i say, i felt pretty good. The only unfortunately thing was letting out a phenomenally stinky fart half way through 'warrior' pose. It stunk worse than a tramp on fire. Luckily there was a really large obese man next to me. He had bushy eyebrows and just had 'guilty' written all over him, so i reckon i got away with that one, especially as the class was packed full of fit young girls. The budgie smugglers would have been crawling away in embarrassment. I just kept looking at the guy next to me in disgust, just to create the illusion even more, Not that anyone was paying attention to me - just my self obsessed head thinking they were. Unfortunately I'm not that important.
So, busy day tomorrow. will try and squeeze another yoga in. Hope my energy comes back fully and i continue my journey back to humanity
If you have stuck with the blog over the past 2 weeks, consider it the marathon equivalent of the wall. Reading it was painful, morose in parts, you wanted to stop, but if you stick with it, it gets easier and the joy comes out, then it gets painful again, but ultimately in the end you will feel rewarded and enlightened as a result. Hopefully it won't make you feel sick.
As i said, this blog. It;s a marathon, not a sprint
Enjoy your week. Big love and Man hugs
N
xx
7 days without diet coke and caffeine today! I have felt like a freshly squeezed dog shit for 2 weeks and a real miserable bastard, but tonight i did a Bikram Yoga class (still can't run for a week or so) and i had energy and came out feeling like a member of the human race. I'm alive. Hooray!!
Apologies to anyone who has continued to read this blog over the past 2 weeks (is there anyone still reading it?) I've been in a dark space. But tonight I've felt some green shoots of humanity returning.
As you know I've been Unable to run, feeling crappy and put on 4lbs so my ultra skinny fit tailored suits and waistcoats have felt like a straight jacket. But tonight i had energy in yoga and could feel the slight pang of the real energy sprouting through the false saccharine fug i have been so used to. Still a long way to go though, but it's great to have some optimism and lightness back.
I have to admit i didn't start off like that this morning. 7am alarm and the day was greeted with a sigh. I told myself in morning prayers, meditation and pages to look more positively on life and to try to change the head. To greet adversity with a positive mindset.
I was lucky then that the commute into work gave me so many chances to work on my attitude.
2 delayed trains immediately greeted me at the station. Next 3 were too busy to get and and the 4th was so crowded i was almost being humped all the way to Shepherds Bush by a guy with Garlic breath and a big woman with more rolls than Greggs. I was not happy.
Then Shepherds Bush escalator broke, resulting in charge of the light brigade for the stairs, and the central line had minor delays, that were as minor as terminal cancer. The snow had clearly fucked the entire West London transport system. After 50 minutes i was literally loving this opportunity to turn this into a positive.
It was the same last week, but last week when i was feeling so rough, so self obsessed and insular - i wanted to exterminate all TFL employees and their families. Today i just waited, read and thought, bugger it. Improvements!
The attitude grew better throughout the day. Telling myself to be nice and smile to the people at work i hold deep resentments about. Result. A better day and response from said people. Weird that?
And tonight? well the injury still not amazing, but definately better than a week ago, so that is positive and i did my 3rd Yoga class in 4 days and as i say, i felt pretty good. The only unfortunately thing was letting out a phenomenally stinky fart half way through 'warrior' pose. It stunk worse than a tramp on fire. Luckily there was a really large obese man next to me. He had bushy eyebrows and just had 'guilty' written all over him, so i reckon i got away with that one, especially as the class was packed full of fit young girls. The budgie smugglers would have been crawling away in embarrassment. I just kept looking at the guy next to me in disgust, just to create the illusion even more, Not that anyone was paying attention to me - just my self obsessed head thinking they were. Unfortunately I'm not that important.
So, busy day tomorrow. will try and squeeze another yoga in. Hope my energy comes back fully and i continue my journey back to humanity
If you have stuck with the blog over the past 2 weeks, consider it the marathon equivalent of the wall. Reading it was painful, morose in parts, you wanted to stop, but if you stick with it, it gets easier and the joy comes out, then it gets painful again, but ultimately in the end you will feel rewarded and enlightened as a result. Hopefully it won't make you feel sick.
As i said, this blog. It;s a marathon, not a sprint
Enjoy your week. Big love and Man hugs
N
xx
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Day 35 - Sunday 5th February
Snowbound Britain
Even if i hadn't been injured it would have been tough to get out and do the long one today. Snow stopped play for the whole of the UK, though as i indulged in a snowball fight i noticed several people running through the slush. Fair play. Though they weren't going so quick that i missed them with a good low slung shot.
Injury a little better today after treatment yesterday, though Candida not. Still foggy, bloated and energy less. Head remains gloomy and although i managed a Bikram Yoga session still finding it tough to get out of this black cloud i seem to be engulfed in. I'd rather just lock away from life for a little while and come out when i feel human again. Not sure how the boss will feel about that one though.
Big old Sunday roast, still no diet coke or tea and coming up for a week now.
Boring head, boring day i can't even muster myself to write anymore. Not great, not happy, not well....fuck and it's Sunday night and back to work tomorrow. Grim
Have good week people, here's hoping i do
NE
xx
Even if i hadn't been injured it would have been tough to get out and do the long one today. Snow stopped play for the whole of the UK, though as i indulged in a snowball fight i noticed several people running through the slush. Fair play. Though they weren't going so quick that i missed them with a good low slung shot.
Injury a little better today after treatment yesterday, though Candida not. Still foggy, bloated and energy less. Head remains gloomy and although i managed a Bikram Yoga session still finding it tough to get out of this black cloud i seem to be engulfed in. I'd rather just lock away from life for a little while and come out when i feel human again. Not sure how the boss will feel about that one though.
Big old Sunday roast, still no diet coke or tea and coming up for a week now.
Boring head, boring day i can't even muster myself to write anymore. Not great, not happy, not well....fuck and it's Sunday night and back to work tomorrow. Grim
Have good week people, here's hoping i do
NE
xx
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Day 34 - Saturday 4th February
Mileage 0 - 15 (cm) Injury and Snow
Today was the day when the entire country shut down to match me. 15cm of snow fell and the whole country went into panic/meltdown (no pun intended)
Lead stories on Sky, Double page features in newspapers, motorways and train lines shut off, Facebook posts everywhere. Snow, snow, snow.
I bet everyone in Estonia, Ukraine, Russia, Canada, Siberia and North Pole were thinking, 'pussies'. Those fuckers are used to -33 degrees every winter and more snow than Ricky Hatton at a Coke Convention.
Us? A little sprinkling and bang, it all goes to pop. Still, it's a great buzz though isn't it? Kids messing around, people walking like they've just shit themselves, cars sliding around, trains cancelled, sledging, snowballing, snow manning. It's good stuff.
Oh, and me? I feel like a snowman whose slowly melting. Very grim and ill today. So tired and dragging.
I had an Osteopathy treatment at 12 by my lovely Sister In Law. I love it, getting the hips, legs and joints manipulated. The injury flushed out and massaged. Hurt like hell and the ITB and Glute/Hamstring elbow massage is more painful than The Eastenders Omnibus.
I have to admit my pain threshold is pretty low. My muscles are so tight, that when it comes to having the right kind of treatment on them (elbows being dug in) - i develop massive tourettes syndrome and swear at the top of my voice. No problem if you're in a Thai massage parlour and nobody speaks English, but i was in a treatment room above a children's clothes shop full of kids. Not sure the 'F*****, f*** that F****g, hurts like f***** f***' went down too well today.
It really helped me, but after being 'flushed out' like that it completely washes you out. I hit the mid afternoon dip and crashed. Did bugger all for rest of the day. Couldn't raise myself from the sofa. A mid afternoon sleep, ringside seat of the snow and chaos outside and watched the 6Nations Scotland v England match. I have to say the match was so shite, so poor that it had the same affect on me as visiting my terminally ill pal in The Liver Unit of Kings College Hospital. It was grim.
Tonight I'm Just about to jump in a bath of Epsom salts, apparently it helps bring out the toxins even more. I don't think i can feel grimmer. Day 5 of no sugar, sweetener, caffeine today. I had a bit of a dip early evening and the sugar craving was so strong, i would have eaten my own hand if it would have been sugar frosted, Maybe i should just go and eat snow and pretend! It's a battle.
Hopefully tomorrow i will feel better. I reckon i will be like this for a week and I'm targeting next weekend as the time when I'm feeling physically more energetic and fresher and injury free to resume training. If I'm not, then it's going to be a battle me thinks. Mind you there;s always suicide i guess.
Still, one day at a time as they say. Here's to Epsom salts, bath, the film Limitless on a Saturday night and a big long old kip. More sausage roll than rick and roll baby!
Yoga early doors tomorrow and rest and relax
NE
x
Today was the day when the entire country shut down to match me. 15cm of snow fell and the whole country went into panic/meltdown (no pun intended)
Lead stories on Sky, Double page features in newspapers, motorways and train lines shut off, Facebook posts everywhere. Snow, snow, snow.
I bet everyone in Estonia, Ukraine, Russia, Canada, Siberia and North Pole were thinking, 'pussies'. Those fuckers are used to -33 degrees every winter and more snow than Ricky Hatton at a Coke Convention.
Us? A little sprinkling and bang, it all goes to pop. Still, it's a great buzz though isn't it? Kids messing around, people walking like they've just shit themselves, cars sliding around, trains cancelled, sledging, snowballing, snow manning. It's good stuff.
Oh, and me? I feel like a snowman whose slowly melting. Very grim and ill today. So tired and dragging.
I had an Osteopathy treatment at 12 by my lovely Sister In Law. I love it, getting the hips, legs and joints manipulated. The injury flushed out and massaged. Hurt like hell and the ITB and Glute/Hamstring elbow massage is more painful than The Eastenders Omnibus.
I have to admit my pain threshold is pretty low. My muscles are so tight, that when it comes to having the right kind of treatment on them (elbows being dug in) - i develop massive tourettes syndrome and swear at the top of my voice. No problem if you're in a Thai massage parlour and nobody speaks English, but i was in a treatment room above a children's clothes shop full of kids. Not sure the 'F*****, f*** that F****g, hurts like f***** f***' went down too well today.
It really helped me, but after being 'flushed out' like that it completely washes you out. I hit the mid afternoon dip and crashed. Did bugger all for rest of the day. Couldn't raise myself from the sofa. A mid afternoon sleep, ringside seat of the snow and chaos outside and watched the 6Nations Scotland v England match. I have to say the match was so shite, so poor that it had the same affect on me as visiting my terminally ill pal in The Liver Unit of Kings College Hospital. It was grim.
Tonight I'm Just about to jump in a bath of Epsom salts, apparently it helps bring out the toxins even more. I don't think i can feel grimmer. Day 5 of no sugar, sweetener, caffeine today. I had a bit of a dip early evening and the sugar craving was so strong, i would have eaten my own hand if it would have been sugar frosted, Maybe i should just go and eat snow and pretend! It's a battle.
Hopefully tomorrow i will feel better. I reckon i will be like this for a week and I'm targeting next weekend as the time when I'm feeling physically more energetic and fresher and injury free to resume training. If I'm not, then it's going to be a battle me thinks. Mind you there;s always suicide i guess.
Still, one day at a time as they say. Here's to Epsom salts, bath, the film Limitless on a Saturday night and a big long old kip. More sausage roll than rick and roll baby!
Yoga early doors tomorrow and rest and relax
NE
x
Friday, February 3, 2012
Day 33 - Friday 3rd February
Morning all
Well it's End of the week and i have completed my 4th day of no sugar/sweetener and caffeine. My god, still have headache, aching back, foggy brain and unbelievable intolerance. I tried to write this last night but was so tired i was writing like Harry Rednapp on Valium.
People suggest i may have wheat or sweetener intolerance but i think i just have intolerance.
It's a really good job i didn't experience any late or cancelled trains, heavy traffic, massive congestion, overcrowded commuting, signal failure this week. Otherwise i may have spontaneously combusted. I had to hold it together i few times this week when i wanted to blow. Made it through without being arrested. Result
Obviously still not running, but judging by the sub zero temperatures, i'm secretly delighted. Fair play to all who i have seen trotting outside tonight. More hardy souls than me. Respect. Still feel physically drained so even if i could run i just know it would be a struggle.
Contented myself with good class of Bikram Yoga for a good stretch and heat up, Enjoyed it and although felt groggy and yawned all class, felt ok during it, just well tired afterwards. Still it's the 1st form of exercise i've done all week so feel reasonably good about myself after.
Then it was straight into a 2 hour traffic jam in Wansdworth. Great for the head and i have to say, after a few headbutts of the steering wheel i felt calm.
Pretty much a dull day readers. Little in the way of inspiration or interest today i'm afraid, and i'm not expecting the weekend to be any different. Gunna keep myself away from the world i think whilst withdrawing from this shit and feeling like at any time i'm going to blow. Much safer for all concerned me thinks.
Osteo on Saturday for injury and tight hips, physio on Sunday. Will squeeze in a couple of Bikram sessions and have a good stretch me thinks. Rock and Roll i am not expecting. I'll leave that for when i'm feeling better
Yawn,zzzzzzzz
Have a great weekend people
x
Well it's End of the week and i have completed my 4th day of no sugar/sweetener and caffeine. My god, still have headache, aching back, foggy brain and unbelievable intolerance. I tried to write this last night but was so tired i was writing like Harry Rednapp on Valium.
People suggest i may have wheat or sweetener intolerance but i think i just have intolerance.
It's a really good job i didn't experience any late or cancelled trains, heavy traffic, massive congestion, overcrowded commuting, signal failure this week. Otherwise i may have spontaneously combusted. I had to hold it together i few times this week when i wanted to blow. Made it through without being arrested. Result
Obviously still not running, but judging by the sub zero temperatures, i'm secretly delighted. Fair play to all who i have seen trotting outside tonight. More hardy souls than me. Respect. Still feel physically drained so even if i could run i just know it would be a struggle.
Contented myself with good class of Bikram Yoga for a good stretch and heat up, Enjoyed it and although felt groggy and yawned all class, felt ok during it, just well tired afterwards. Still it's the 1st form of exercise i've done all week so feel reasonably good about myself after.
Then it was straight into a 2 hour traffic jam in Wansdworth. Great for the head and i have to say, after a few headbutts of the steering wheel i felt calm.
Pretty much a dull day readers. Little in the way of inspiration or interest today i'm afraid, and i'm not expecting the weekend to be any different. Gunna keep myself away from the world i think whilst withdrawing from this shit and feeling like at any time i'm going to blow. Much safer for all concerned me thinks.
Osteo on Saturday for injury and tight hips, physio on Sunday. Will squeeze in a couple of Bikram sessions and have a good stretch me thinks. Rock and Roll i am not expecting. I'll leave that for when i'm feeling better
Yawn,zzzzzzzz
Have a great weekend people
x
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Day 32 - Thursday 2nd February
Injured for next 7-10 days so little chance of mileage
Hello friends, feeling a bit of a fraud writing this blog seeing as i don't consider myself in training at the moment, but hey ho.
Not sure if i can count withdrawing from sugar and caffeine as part of training, or indeed stretching or physio. Lets face it, it's pretty dull writing and indeed reading about that. Even Sebastian Faulkes may struggle on that one.
I could talk about training my head, cultivating a better attitude, developing more focus and positivity but i have to admit i feel that i have regressed this week back to pre xmas gloom. My head is not good this week, i feel pretty negative and feared up. The optimistic energetic 'bring it on' vibe i brought into 2012 has vanished. It's more Bring it down than Bring it on. I feel like Sky Sports after Transfer Deadline Day
I must work hard to get it back. I'm not sure if it is because i can't run, or if because I'm physically buggered, if it's the holiday glow gone, coming off caffeine and massive sweetener intake or the time of the year. Maybe it's a combination of all of them? Or maybe it's because i'm a great big sissy.
Point is, i need to get my shit together. It's imperative a maintain the upward movement of positive action. It seems that by doing good actions, my head catches up eventually. otherwise nowt will change
I hate going back to uninspired gloom, it affects everything from being at work, i was starting to really take an interest and enthused, to personal training - it even has a massive impact on writing jokes. The whole self doubt and criticism has become louder and then it gets in the way of writing as i criticise my thinking and am feared up. I just think that everything i write and do is shit and the self hatred becomes huge. It is then that the whole self destructive thing becomes so appealing.
It's no good and i hate it. So i will attempt to get back on track and maintain a positive mindset. Hopefully the energy and foggy head will lift and I'll be looking back at this time as 'character building'.
Bit of a gloomy entry today. Not much lightness or humour I'm afraid, my mood was worsened when i picked up the metro on a packed tube this morning, and the lead story was 'Commuters can catch New Flesh Eating Bug from sneezing'. Thanks for that Metro. Quality journalism. No sensationalism there. However judging by the bloke opposite me, looks like he's already had a dose. Frightening face and he had a wedding ring on, fair play to the little fella.
Spent the entire journey there and back snuggled deeply into my coat. May have to invest in one of those surgical masks the Chinese seem to wear all the time, trouble is it just makes me look like a rapist. And that is not a winning look in any ones language.
Onwards and upwards bloggers, here's to a steamy Bikram yoga class tonight and some more Raspberry and fucking blackcurrant infusion. GGGRRRRRRRR
NE
xx
Hello friends, feeling a bit of a fraud writing this blog seeing as i don't consider myself in training at the moment, but hey ho.
Not sure if i can count withdrawing from sugar and caffeine as part of training, or indeed stretching or physio. Lets face it, it's pretty dull writing and indeed reading about that. Even Sebastian Faulkes may struggle on that one.
I could talk about training my head, cultivating a better attitude, developing more focus and positivity but i have to admit i feel that i have regressed this week back to pre xmas gloom. My head is not good this week, i feel pretty negative and feared up. The optimistic energetic 'bring it on' vibe i brought into 2012 has vanished. It's more Bring it down than Bring it on. I feel like Sky Sports after Transfer Deadline Day
I must work hard to get it back. I'm not sure if it is because i can't run, or if because I'm physically buggered, if it's the holiday glow gone, coming off caffeine and massive sweetener intake or the time of the year. Maybe it's a combination of all of them? Or maybe it's because i'm a great big sissy.
Point is, i need to get my shit together. It's imperative a maintain the upward movement of positive action. It seems that by doing good actions, my head catches up eventually. otherwise nowt will change
I hate going back to uninspired gloom, it affects everything from being at work, i was starting to really take an interest and enthused, to personal training - it even has a massive impact on writing jokes. The whole self doubt and criticism has become louder and then it gets in the way of writing as i criticise my thinking and am feared up. I just think that everything i write and do is shit and the self hatred becomes huge. It is then that the whole self destructive thing becomes so appealing.
It's no good and i hate it. So i will attempt to get back on track and maintain a positive mindset. Hopefully the energy and foggy head will lift and I'll be looking back at this time as 'character building'.
Bit of a gloomy entry today. Not much lightness or humour I'm afraid, my mood was worsened when i picked up the metro on a packed tube this morning, and the lead story was 'Commuters can catch New Flesh Eating Bug from sneezing'. Thanks for that Metro. Quality journalism. No sensationalism there. However judging by the bloke opposite me, looks like he's already had a dose. Frightening face and he had a wedding ring on, fair play to the little fella.
Spent the entire journey there and back snuggled deeply into my coat. May have to invest in one of those surgical masks the Chinese seem to wear all the time, trouble is it just makes me look like a rapist. And that is not a winning look in any ones language.
Onwards and upwards bloggers, here's to a steamy Bikram yoga class tonight and some more Raspberry and fucking blackcurrant infusion. GGGRRRRRRRR
NE
xx
Day 31 - Weds 1st February
Mileage 0 - 7 Injury
A new month and 2 days completed without diet coke, tea, sweetener (save for some gum) Boy do i feel like dog shit. Headache, groggy and weirdly my body and legs ache like Ive been running long every day. Is this connected? Surely not.
Disappointingly the Injury back to where it was last week. (Tendonitis is creaking when i move the joint) Probably should have had physio on it this week, instead of waiting to the weekend. Gutted and grumpy today
All in all quite a tricky day. Coming off that shit I've been putting in my body every day for 10 years is most definitely grim. Part of me agrees with people saying just stop it, stop making a fuss, get on with it. Other parts of me wants to make excuses about having an addictive personality. Part of me is embarrassed as it's a really gay addiction - I'll be buying small cute dogs next.
But it is what it is. It is me. It is something i must try to stick too and I'm banking on the horrid cloudy feeling to go and for energy to return in time for running again in hopefully 10 days or so.
Did the gym today and apart from lots of pull ups, weights other 'manly' gym stuff. I took a long time stretching out calves, hips and hamstrings. So boring, yet so necessary. Why is the stuff that's good for you the least attractive?
In the evening i attended my comedy writing course, and seeing as i was feeling grotty and grumpy. What perfect preparation for being in a comedy writing course.Full of people making witty jokes and bantering - my mood darkened. I proceeded to behave like a spoiled brat. My head took over and was engulfed in negativity and moodiness. I couldn't understand parts of it whilst all the others seemed to 'get it' and i just felt like a dunce and a total wanker. My 1st reaction when i feel like that is to go on the attack, lose my temper, be rude to someone, cause offence and storm off. I think i can chalk off 'mediator' from my job list.
It;s a shit way of dealing with things, luckily i just threw a bit of a tantrum and left without causing too much offence. I'm best off locked up at home in those moods. away from mankind. it kind of makes me realise why my ex girlfriend said, 'you're lovely Nick. Very funny, warm hearted but you're very difficult and I'm so pleased we are not going out anymore. You're alright in small doses. But don't take that the wrong way". Not sure how else i can take it really - but fair comment, i was prone to throwing Haslett and other assorted meat around the kitchen on occassions. I am a nightmare sometimes.
My mood was lightened a little on the way home, when i passed a place i will now adopt as my new place of worship. All my life I've been looking for a spiritual home. Finally my prayers have been answered. There it was, in all it's neon beauty. 'Tanning Temple' - a Mecca of tan. Now i can get my skin darkened and worship at the same time. All for 28p per minute. Genius.
I couldn't believe my luck, God is definitely looking out for me, as directly opposite The Tanning Temple, sat Rios Spa, the biggest swinging meeting place in London. Amazing. Great massage and their facials are something else.
So off i popped back to boring old South West London, looking up flats to rent in kentish Town. After all it's all about Location Location Location. I wonder if Phil and Kirsty were at Rios tonight?
It's all about physio and getting healthy tomorrow - itching to get back running
NE
x
A new month and 2 days completed without diet coke, tea, sweetener (save for some gum) Boy do i feel like dog shit. Headache, groggy and weirdly my body and legs ache like Ive been running long every day. Is this connected? Surely not.
Disappointingly the Injury back to where it was last week. (Tendonitis is creaking when i move the joint) Probably should have had physio on it this week, instead of waiting to the weekend. Gutted and grumpy today
All in all quite a tricky day. Coming off that shit I've been putting in my body every day for 10 years is most definitely grim. Part of me agrees with people saying just stop it, stop making a fuss, get on with it. Other parts of me wants to make excuses about having an addictive personality. Part of me is embarrassed as it's a really gay addiction - I'll be buying small cute dogs next.
But it is what it is. It is me. It is something i must try to stick too and I'm banking on the horrid cloudy feeling to go and for energy to return in time for running again in hopefully 10 days or so.
Did the gym today and apart from lots of pull ups, weights other 'manly' gym stuff. I took a long time stretching out calves, hips and hamstrings. So boring, yet so necessary. Why is the stuff that's good for you the least attractive?
In the evening i attended my comedy writing course, and seeing as i was feeling grotty and grumpy. What perfect preparation for being in a comedy writing course.Full of people making witty jokes and bantering - my mood darkened. I proceeded to behave like a spoiled brat. My head took over and was engulfed in negativity and moodiness. I couldn't understand parts of it whilst all the others seemed to 'get it' and i just felt like a dunce and a total wanker. My 1st reaction when i feel like that is to go on the attack, lose my temper, be rude to someone, cause offence and storm off. I think i can chalk off 'mediator' from my job list.
It;s a shit way of dealing with things, luckily i just threw a bit of a tantrum and left without causing too much offence. I'm best off locked up at home in those moods. away from mankind. it kind of makes me realise why my ex girlfriend said, 'you're lovely Nick. Very funny, warm hearted but you're very difficult and I'm so pleased we are not going out anymore. You're alright in small doses. But don't take that the wrong way". Not sure how else i can take it really - but fair comment, i was prone to throwing Haslett and other assorted meat around the kitchen on occassions. I am a nightmare sometimes.
My mood was lightened a little on the way home, when i passed a place i will now adopt as my new place of worship. All my life I've been looking for a spiritual home. Finally my prayers have been answered. There it was, in all it's neon beauty. 'Tanning Temple' - a Mecca of tan. Now i can get my skin darkened and worship at the same time. All for 28p per minute. Genius.
I couldn't believe my luck, God is definitely looking out for me, as directly opposite The Tanning Temple, sat Rios Spa, the biggest swinging meeting place in London. Amazing. Great massage and their facials are something else.
So off i popped back to boring old South West London, looking up flats to rent in kentish Town. After all it's all about Location Location Location. I wonder if Phil and Kirsty were at Rios tonight?
It's all about physio and getting healthy tomorrow - itching to get back running
NE
x
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Day 30 - Tuesday 31st January
Mileage 0 - 5 Injury
Phew! Finally the end of the month, Made it! Written every day and although unable to run at the moment i still consider myself 'in training'. Doing the rehab. Synopsis off the month, started with a bang and slowed to a griding halt physically and mentally.
Today I'm still injured, though it is slowly healing. I hope to be back running next week, although i do need to sort out my health and energy 1st. I have Terrible candida today, so tired and grotty. But you won't hear me complaining, well only every 20 minutes anyway
Today was my 1st day of no tea, sweetener, diet coke and sugar. Fuck! Walked past Tesco on way to tube without getting the customary 2 bottles of diet coke for £1.80 and guzzling on the tube. Sat at work all day with no diet coke, no caffeine. Not nipping out to the cafe for endless tea and diet coke. No, I Just drank herbal tea. Who the f*** likes herbal tea? I view people who do, similarly to how i used to view people who didn't drink alcohol when i did. Weirdos and freaks. Ones to avoid.
It looks like warm piss and mostly tastes like it too. I cannot even imagine ever looking forward to getting home for a nice cup of Ginseng, or Peppermint, or Jasmine or whatever else shitty herbal it is. Point is i sodding love builders tea with tons of sweetener (for health reasons of course, not sugar!) I look forward to it, it satisfies me, and makes me go 'AHHHH' when i drink it. It really hits the spot. Raspberry and Pomegranate does not.
However on the flip side, doing that along with massive diet coke and gum and all other Aspartame products makes me feel like the living dead and eventually will be officially dead, so i suppose needs must. But if i ever turn into one of those smug herbal tea drinkers saying it's lovely then please shoot me. Right in The echiniachia's
So today i found hard to concentrate, low energy, headache and generally felt like someone had opened up my skull and shat in it. I came home, wrote, thought about yoga, got my stuff to go to Yoga, drove to yoga and then just before i was about to get out of the car it became Noga. I really cannot face any type of exercise at the moment. Bolloxed
Still on the Positive side i made another change and stuck to it today. so far so good, only gum, smoking, pornography, swearing, occasional bulimia, commitment and sloth to go now and then I'll be super powered.
So that's it really, so tired i cannot write anymore. Can't even be arsed to stay up to see the Transfer window. Mine has shit for the night. Totally - i promise after sleep tonight i will be funny tomorrow.
scouts honour, though i was never in the scouts
NE
x
Phew! Finally the end of the month, Made it! Written every day and although unable to run at the moment i still consider myself 'in training'. Doing the rehab. Synopsis off the month, started with a bang and slowed to a griding halt physically and mentally.
Today I'm still injured, though it is slowly healing. I hope to be back running next week, although i do need to sort out my health and energy 1st. I have Terrible candida today, so tired and grotty. But you won't hear me complaining, well only every 20 minutes anyway
Today was my 1st day of no tea, sweetener, diet coke and sugar. Fuck! Walked past Tesco on way to tube without getting the customary 2 bottles of diet coke for £1.80 and guzzling on the tube. Sat at work all day with no diet coke, no caffeine. Not nipping out to the cafe for endless tea and diet coke. No, I Just drank herbal tea. Who the f*** likes herbal tea? I view people who do, similarly to how i used to view people who didn't drink alcohol when i did. Weirdos and freaks. Ones to avoid.
It looks like warm piss and mostly tastes like it too. I cannot even imagine ever looking forward to getting home for a nice cup of Ginseng, or Peppermint, or Jasmine or whatever else shitty herbal it is. Point is i sodding love builders tea with tons of sweetener (for health reasons of course, not sugar!) I look forward to it, it satisfies me, and makes me go 'AHHHH' when i drink it. It really hits the spot. Raspberry and Pomegranate does not.
However on the flip side, doing that along with massive diet coke and gum and all other Aspartame products makes me feel like the living dead and eventually will be officially dead, so i suppose needs must. But if i ever turn into one of those smug herbal tea drinkers saying it's lovely then please shoot me. Right in The echiniachia's
So today i found hard to concentrate, low energy, headache and generally felt like someone had opened up my skull and shat in it. I came home, wrote, thought about yoga, got my stuff to go to Yoga, drove to yoga and then just before i was about to get out of the car it became Noga. I really cannot face any type of exercise at the moment. Bolloxed
Still on the Positive side i made another change and stuck to it today. so far so good, only gum, smoking, pornography, swearing, occasional bulimia, commitment and sloth to go now and then I'll be super powered.
So that's it really, so tired i cannot write anymore. Can't even be arsed to stay up to see the Transfer window. Mine has shit for the night. Totally - i promise after sleep tonight i will be funny tomorrow.
scouts honour, though i was never in the scouts
NE
x
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