"Nothing is Either Good or Bad. Thinking Makes It So" - William Shakespeare
OK, it's late so I'm not going to hang around. Here's a quick synopsis of stand out things today;
1 - Blue Monday
The 3rd Monday of January is traditionally the most depressing day of the year. People are skint, the new years resolutions seem a long way off and 'normal service' has resumed. I say that's bollocks myself. Most of us have fucked our resolutions long before the 20th. We don't have to wait 3 weeks to disappoint ourselves do we slackers?
I'll revert to the Shakespeare quote above, and that boy could write. It maybe Monday today but it isn't blue. That can strike us on any day. It is merely a matter of perception through our thinking. Simple.
2 - A Decision
This morning I went to another 12 step fellowship. For people who struggle with self worth, financial responsibility, under-earning, trouble with debts/managing money, lack of focus about future professional goals and life management. Obviously I hated it but I heard some great stuff, went out for a coffee with a music producer who does it and he said it turned his life, career, earnings around.
He had me sold until he said. "You've got to commit and put in the work". Work is a dirty four letter word to my ego. I recoil. Can't all this stuff be injected into my head overnight so I do it automatically?
Something else to consider. Number 18 on the list.
3 - A Miracle happened this afternoon
Usually the term 'working from home' involves Bikram Yoga, The gym, pissing around on social media, endless tea, Dickinson's Real Deal and a few emails. Today I got home at 12.30pm and worked solidly through to 5pm. I intended to do 3pm yoga but didn't even stop to think. What the f**k is wrong with me? Still it felt good to actually do what i';m supposed to be doing. Creating revenue is unfortunately not going to happen itself.
When you work for someone you can effectively spend days/months/years doing sod all and getting paid for it. All you need to do is 'look busy' and sound like 'you know what you're talking about'. This can mean you can coast for years.
Doing that when you work for yourself is fine. Unfortunately you get to the end of the month and there is no income. An unfortunate downturn in heavy sloth.
Today I grafted though. Clearly I deserve 3 days off as a reward. What is the opposite of workaholism? Oh yes, Disability Living Allowance.
4 - I met a Homeless Guy Today But I Saw The Disease.
He was at a meeting. We talked. He repeated the phrase, 'I'm on the streets x12 times'. I think he was on the streets. The gist of what he was saying was that everyone on the streets drinks and takes drugs as it's so grim. I found out his story. Married, 4 kids, always had a drink problem. Years of trying to stop, 4 years ago wife had an affair and it sent him drinking badly. He got chucked out of the house, carried on drinking and ended on the streets. He had been homeless for 2 years and now had the attitude of 'who gives a shit about me. I'm a piece of shit I might as well drink'. Suicide through alcoholism. Exactly what happened to my father.
I saw the disease of alcoholism as a direct result of this mans plight, of his story, of his family. I gave him a hug, told him he was a hero for making it into the meeting but to come back tomorrow and the day after and the day after. I have heard and seen many people get sober, housed and back into 'normal' society through 12 step fellowships. It can happen.
it just made me even more respectful of the disease of addiction and alcoholism and how most of people on the streets are there because of alcoholism ,addiction or mental health problems or all three. it is a society problem but one someone else will sort out right not me?
I feel guilty because I went for coffee with people I know not him. I really should have gone with him. And did I just write that to make myself look better than I am? Am I that concerned with image that I write I hugged him because I was the one who went over and shook his hand in the meeting? How much did I actually put myself out for him?
Some searching questions where I need to look at my own moral code and compass before judging others. How much do I go out of my way to really help a fellow human being? What I do know 100% was I could see the alcoholism going back years that had made this man homeless now. That is why it is an underrated disease.
That is why more knowledge, education and treatment needs to be put in place. Because it would drop prison rates by 65%, it would reduced NHS admissions by 40%, it would reduce homelessness by 70%. Fuck me it would save the country £billions a year. Surely as the Bacon says...it's a No brainer. Plus it would help poor sods like Alan tonight getting onto the position he's in. Advanced and severe alcoholism. What happens if he would have been exposed to 12 step programme or the concept of alcoholism as a progressive disease 10 years ago? OK it may not have saved his marriage, kids or prevented him slipping into a severe state but he would have stood a better chance of recovery right?
As a random observation, His jeans were ironed though. He had a crease down the front.
5 - Charlie Brooks
For anyone following the phone hacking case. Charlie Brooks is the husband of Rebecca Brookes, former editor and MD of News Of The World, The Sun and Rupert Murdoch's little protege. Part of the Chipping Norton set, along with David Cameron. Get the picture?
She is in court at the moment accused of phone hacking, conspiring to pervert the course of justice. She is a despicable human being. Her husband is accused of covering up for her, disposing of laptops, phones, evidence. He is currently on trial too.
Today it emerged in court that a Porter confiscated some bags and briefcases he was trying to destroy, realising he had left his personal briefcase with the porter, he tried to get it back and screamed 'I will sue you', to the guy who earns £9 per hour. What a cunt.
Well today The court revealed the content of Charlie Brooks' briefcase that day. It is worth a read. It included;
'A toothbrush, a blister pack, a conker, a pair of tights, a pig society newsletter and a jiffy bag containing the following DVD's, Instant Lesbian, Where boys aren't 17, Bride of Sin, Lesbian Psychodramas 2, Lesbian Psychodramas 3 and a magazine 'lesbian lovers'.'
Sue away Charlie. Good luck.
6 - Today's Meditation.
I am yet to do my evening meditation but we did 5 minutes at the meeting earlier. I had a great one. 1 minute of breathing followed by 3 minutes of thinking, 'My monthly outgoings are £1260. I spend £1300 a month on living and things. That £2560 per month going out. My current monthly income is £0. Er how does that work?' Then 1 minute of breathing again.
Now I'm no finance wizard or business genius but £0 income minus £2560 outgoing = -£2560. That really doesn't work. I can hang on for a month or so but beyond that I'm in trouble. That was my meditation. Nice my mind was so quiet wasn't it?
Still at least I had 1 minute at the end where I got back to my mantra. 'Fucking hell!! in...... and Fucking Fuck out.
You know what though, instead of blind panic I'm usually in an crippling financial fear I feel OK. Maybe there's something in that meditation thing after all. After all it's only thinking........
Together We Are Stronger
Nicholas Evans
No comments:
Post a Comment