Friday, December 14, 2012

Day 333 - Thurs 13th Dec - The Xmas Prezzie List

Only 27 readers yesterday. I get the feeling my readers are feeling 'blog fatigue' or 'blatigue'. I know I am. It seems I have lost quite a few readers over the past couple of days. Is it because I is shit at the moment? Is the blog dull? Has it lost it's sparkle and energy? I'm Undergoing writers doubt at the moment.

Not feeling the writing bug at the moment. It's a bit of a chore if I'm honest and maybe that's coming through. I committed myself to the Xmas Advent which in hindsight is a little restrictive. Having said that If I was all lit up I could find any Xmas topic every day and explore it. All you have to do is open your eyes to the world around you. Trouble is when it's a chore you don't really climb into it and find the enthusiasm to research, look at and study a topic. I feel the blog has taken the writing equivalent of a long dull car journey.

It's basically hogging the middle lane. Probably with a bit of Steely Dan or REO Speedwagon on the stereo. Very steady and consistent but never overtaking and never getting out of the way. It needs to move up to fifth gear and get some speed. Yes that's right it needs some Amphetamine Sulphate. Fuck me I'll be writing all night then. Trouble is it will undoubtedly be shit. It usually is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Even though you think it's a masterpiece it nearly always ends up being like something a 4 year old dyslexic has written. Best stick to chugging away and hope the love returns.

However I'm feeling the love of Xmas today. Maybe it was the giant Jaffa Cakes in Tesco or the endless carols or even the Xmas tree at work. Either way sometimes I get the most tremendous pang of Xmas nostalgia from being a kid.

The excitement of Xmas morning when Santa has been, drained the Sherry, started on the whisky, left the vodka half opened and dropped the mince pie down the sofa. Santa was clearly pissed but no matter he always delivered. It was magical. I have very fond memories.

I guess I always carry a little of that into buying Xmas presents. I want it to be a surprise for. I want them to get something they wouldn't ordinarily buy but like it and think 'Oh yes. i love it'.

Of course the potential for distarously getting something totally useless they would never use is pretty high. But that's why God created the 28 day refund policy with the receipt. Thank you Lord. On one hand the lord giveth on the other the Lord taketh back and gets a refund.

With this in mind I encountered a rather beautiful thing today. It encapsulated a modern Christmas and i love it. I asked a member of my family (whom I love very much by the way - so it's a close member not a distant one. You obviously buy them any old shit from Poundland) what they wanted for Christmas. A gave them the option of a surprise or something they want.

The reply surprised and delighted me. They said, "oh i don't know. Anything. Oh hang on. I need an air aroma diffuser from Muji". Slightly taken aback by such a random practical present, I got the next message which i love. It said "The item code is 137689B/22/1-A"'. Holy fuck! How specific is that? Brilliant i even got the bar code. Now that is modern Xmas buying and i love it. Proper specific. There is no black and white on that one. Not even the dullest of blokes could balls that one up. Surely.

Ahh the romance of buying a gift. Exchanging gifts as a celebration of Christ. Of celebrating love for family and friends. A symbol of unison and peace. So what better way to express it than in a 137689B/22/1/A? Brilliant.

I'll be spending Xmas with my Mum this year. The first without Nan. It will be sweet and peaceful. She has asked me for my Xmas prezzie list several times. Today I sent it to her.

As people will know I'm not very materialistic and am slightly perturbed by how commercial and consumerist the world has become. I said to her, "Mum, I know your retired now and money is a little tight. I can't really think of anything I need and don't want too much because it feels wrong and gluttonous & I don't want you spending much on me, so all I can think I'd like is;

  • Ipad Mini, not the shitty 16KB I want 64 with all the trimmings
  • Kindle HD Fire
  • Google Chrome Netbook (for my writing)
  • GPS Running watch
  • Laptop (for work)
  • Friday Night Lights, Homeland and Sons of Anarchy DVD Box sets
  • A bespoke 3 piece suit (tailored not off the peg)
  • A holiday to Thailand
  • A course of Physio for my back and hamstring
  • Various books
  • Cadbury's selection box
  • Terry's Chocolate Orange
  • An Annual
  • Aftershave
  • Socks (standard now I'm 40)
  • Something horrible and random I'll hate but smile sweetly and say 'thanks' whilst tossing it at the bottom of the pile ungratefully
I also need a new TV but I'm not greedy. I'll wait for the sales before I ask her.

I can't work it out, i sent that yesterday to her and I haven't got a reply from that text yet.

I hate greed at Xmas don't you? Who said the romance of Xmas presents was dead

xx




I love the total reversal of romance and Xmas. of course it's practical to get things people want. But In someways it such a shame as it does take that romance and sweetness out of Xmas for me.

1 comment:

  1. you were much funnier when you were a drunk. this boring as hell. makes me think of fucking Martha Stewart

    ReplyDelete