Day 9 of my Xmas advent. If yesterday was all about decorations today is all about Xmas food. It will be my second Xmas meal in 3 days. The waistcoat is getting tighter as the Xmas calories rack up. The holiday season is full of great opportunities to turn into a fat bastard. Day 9 will be the clincher. An important day. Either i tuck in and let loose for next few weeks or I keep up a strong will and discipline and stay the fuck away from the bread sauce, pigs in blankets, Heroes, Celebrations, nuts. chips, crisps and chocolate coated Brazil's. We shall see later
In the morning I hit a meeting in Chelsea. I spent half of it in seething resentment. Thinking 'why do I come here'. I heard all of my favourite words that seem to get my goat, including 'treatment centre', 'therapy', 'therapist', 'relapse', 'owning my part'. 'boundaries' and 'group therapy'. Oh god please pass me the gun.
I'm a big fan of 12 step fellowships. Trouble is not many are, they haven't got doctors, or certificates and therefore most people think they are secondary & unimportant. Treatment centres and expensive therapists with flowery treatment language are seen as the place to get 'sorted' and 'cured'.
The trouble is only cure in my experience and as far as this little sicko can see is continued abstinence and you can't go into treatment for ever or have a therapist 24 hours a day to ensure that. The ironic thing is people pay around £10k to be told 'you need to go to meetings every day'. But because they are paying £10k and receiving the treatment from an 'expert' they think it to be gospel. If they went to a 12 step programme they would get that free and in plain speaking language.
If you were paying to see a therapist. It's their job. So they are hardly liable to tell you that you should stop seeing him and go to meetings. They'd all be out if a job then. That is why I am cynical about addiction therapists.
That's not to say treatment facilities don't do a good job or that some kinds of therapy are needed and worthwhile because they are. I am not demolishing the whole world of therapy. I am not a doctor, an expert But if you are talking about addiction or alcoholism it is painful to see people skirt around the issue, still live in it but think they are dealing with it because they pay £100 to see a therapist 2 times a week.
A daily 12 step fellowship is the only thing In my experience that can profoundly challenge and help to alleviate the disease of addiction.
Christ i'm on my soapbox there arent I? best get off it before I get more nauseating and self riteous. (Oh yes did i forget to mention that I'm off my head and one of them too?)
Xmas Lunch
After that light topic and barrel of laughs to start off today's blog. My second Xmas lunch of the season was today. I was invited to a very dear friends family for a sort of pre Xmas family gathering lunch. It was in such a beautiful house and we were spoilt by the world's best host. Amazing. Everything covered, a massive spread/feast and proper 5 star treatment.
Lunch was served from the carvery point in the kitchen. Yes a carvery point. Usually reserved for the Harvester. This little beauty was pride of place in the beautiful kitchen that was bigger than my house. It was fantastic and a touch of genius. I have never seen a carvery at someones house for Sunday lunch. I was genuinely impressed. It reminded me of Lanelli, other than the fact we were in a mansion. But there is something about Sunday lunch off the carvery that makes me feel good inside.
This is where I was faced with the dilemma. Am I going to really jump in this Xmas and over eat everything or can I retain some kind of self discipline? There was everything and lots of it, including 4 deserts (profiteroles, Eton Mess, Xmas Pudding and red Velvet cake) It was literally like an alcoholic being locked in Threshers overnight.
I am pleased to report I filled up a normal plate and skipped desert. If i would have started i wouldn't have stopped so I maintained control for once and ate normally. I am addicted to sugar. I'm ashamed of it but I am, I eat it like I drink. Once I start i cannot stop so there is little point in me starting. I enjoyed the lunch, had a lovely day and got home at 8pm, in time for the X factor final.
X Factor
I haven't watched this series and readers of this blog will know that I'm not a fan. I believe it to be the devil in disguise. I genuinely despair at it's popularity.
Even the whole scheduling of it is designed to make maximum money. Set to finish at Xmas time so they can release the Xfactor Xmas record and a whole series of merchandise for the Xmas market. Even the voting with 3 million people ringing up at £1 a pop is a cash cow. Blatant commercial crap that's so so popular.
It's a Commercial revenue generating beast and millions of people are happy to follow, We're better than that world. Surely we are? Please tell me we are.
It has no artistic merit or credibility as it's basically a money making beast and it has tapped into a) the public thirst for fame and b) brain dead tellie so we don't have to think on Saturday or Sunday night,
It depresses me and tonight was the final and the big public vote. A bloke who has a mushroom head & sings like a girl versus a fat bloke in make up who looks like a girl. The bloke in make up one. Cue Xmas number 1 and relative obscurity in 3 years time. But good luck to him in that time. I wish him no malice and genuinely hope and are pleased for his fame, money and turning his life round. That is the positive part of the programme i guess. But go easy on the eye liner James
Patrick Moore RIP
The famous and wonderfully eccentric astronomer Patrick Moore passed away today at the age of 89. God bless him and his family. Didn't see that one coming, though it was written in the stars.
Bah humbug
End
xx
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