Christmas Eve. A classic day on the calendar. Traditionally a day for all women/Mothers to do everything and all the blokes/fathers to start their Christmas shopping
It's important blokes don't leave it too late. Starting around mid afternoon after a pub lunch, a couple of pints of Lownbrau and then go and get their women that special gift, (Windowleen or something). That's of course if you want the relationship to end.
It's a funny old day. Everyone finishing off, preparing, getting last minute stuff, travelling to loved ones. There is always a slight hint of panic slash stress in the air. The expectation of tomorrow looming. Some people really love it, some can't stand all the hype and build up. I fall somewhere between the two. If you don't have any kids or responsibilities like me, sometimes it's better to bugger off somewhere warm and just let it pass. I do love the whole build up, gifts and message of sharing/love and giving but if I'm honest I'd rather be in my budgie smugglers supping on a diet coke paddling around in the ocean.
Last year was Dubai, this year it's Fleet. Same amount of letters. Different vibe.
Xmas Eve began with present wrapping in the morning, some were so awfully put together it looked like they'd been kicked around the playground a few times. Then I visited a couple of people, picked a couple of things up, cycled the past 4 Xmas lunches off and it was time to leave for my Mothers.
London was quiet. The shops and roads empty. I love London at this time of the year as everyone buggers off. It's how i think London should be. I guess it shows how many people are not from London. But it makes the city superb. You can drive around, it's easy to park. Everything is more accessible and it looks stunning.
No matter how much i complain about it though I do love London and leaving it is a culture shock. Fleet is like night of the living dead in comparison. So quiet.
I got to my Mother's mid afternoon in time for tea. She had cooked an army of mince pies. Covering the fridge and half the kitchen. However I was more interested in the table snacks of Walnuts and Chinese Rice crackers. I love seasonal nuts. I'll be in a world of pain later. Can never resist those table snacks though. Very Mum and very Xmas.
Then it was time for a catch up and as she cooked dinner I sat quietly, listening to Magic FM Xmas songs, eating Walnuts and felt calm, peaceful and contented. I liked it. It was nice.
This was followed with a dinner of Gammon. Apparently traditional on Xmas Eve and we then went to midnight mass (at 10pm) - The time was weird but I think it's either to attract more people or make sure the pissed up don't come in from the pub and ruin it with drunken heckling. We've all done it in our guilty past. Oh just me then is it?.
First i was given my Xmas treat. We drove past a House in Fleet which has gone full on with the lights. Extraordinary. A full display with the whole house and garden covered. Mental. They've done it for charity with a little box out the front so they neighbours can't complain. Genius tactic. Three cars stopped to look. I was impressed. A real Xmas treat. It was really lovely slash disturbing.
Insert pic
Finally to Midnight mass at my Mum's church. Not my thing but I knew she wanted to do it, so that's what you do at Xmas right? For love and support. Her partner suggested we get there 20 minutes before the carol service at 9.40pm to get a seat. We were the first there, beating the vicar and choir. Keen or what? Still at least we bagged top front row seats ready for the action.
It was an Anglican CE of E, new style church and it slowly started filling up with a collection of, shall i call them mature people, I brought the average age down by a good few years such was the age of the congregation.
Carols began at 10pm with a sombre choir signing strangely to the back and right of the congregation so you had to strain your neck to see them. They sounded beautiful but it had a slight touch of the melancholy about it.
Then the ceremony began, an hour's mass and if I'm honest it really didn't move me at all. A traditional, sombre silent joyless affair with so much long drawn out ceremony. It didn't grab me, move me or connect with me at all. I thought Xmas was about celebrating the birth of Christ (if you're into that thing of course) and the atmosphere in the church wasn't celebratory. I like my Churches to be old and awe inspiring. This one to me wasn't.
Having said that at least it was better than last time I attended midnight mass with my Mum. Granted that was 27 years ago. I was 13, it was 1985 and i was dressed in a grey suit with sleeves rolled up and diadora trainers (It was around the time of Miami Vice) - A powerful look. No socks of course. I fancied myself as the Don Johnson of Llanelli. Trouble is i looked more like Dom Joly.
We attended Midnight mass, obviously under duress as a 13 year old, traipsed in and when it was time to kneel for prayers I realised i had a massive lump of dog shit stuck to my trainers. It was everywhere, all over the velvet prayer step, the floor, the Pugh's, oh god it stunk and was all over the place. I went outside to scrape it off but it fucked the mass and strangely since then my luck has been dreadful.
I'm sure God doesn't like wanky little 12 year olds looking like knob heads in pastel coloured suits rubbing dog shit around his gaff in Diadora trainers. It's not very respectful. In my defence i didn't know it was there, but then again I chose to wear that suit. So I guess It's a fair cop.
Anyway, this Mass finally finished just after 11.30pm and off we filed. I was knackered after two consecutive days of 4 hours kip so the massive excitement of Xmas rather passed me by. I insisted my Mum opened a present when we got back. Unfortunately I got it wrong and her reaction was one of those classic underwhelmed but didn't want to say the truth looks.
I got her something she didn't want, so that's not a good start to Xmas is it? Lets hope the other presents I got her will invoke a better response tomorrow. Mind you no matter how well you wrap windoleen and dusters I'm not convinced she's going to be too happy.
Merry Xmas everyone. If you're reading this on Xmas day I hope you had a good one and I will publish my Xmas message on Boxing day.
Big love
xx
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