Sometimes this daily blog has covered topical subjects. Sometimes it's been dull. Sometimes it's been funny and poignant. Sometimes it's been euphoric. Sometimes it's been a pain in the arse. Writing a daily blog in 2012 has been a challenge. I wrote at the beginning on day 1 it would be a journey, it would be honest. Some days it would be dull as that's what everyday life is and other days full of passion. I have covered a range of subjects that are important to me. I have covered a range of historic world moments through my own eyes. I have bared my soul. My inner demons. My negative inner voice, my fears,. my worries, my aspirations.
So much so that sometimes I have run out of things to say. The well has run dry on more than one occasion, but sometimes, just sometimes things pop up that I just can't get my head around. Something that just cannot be explained. Something so weird. Something that makes me so disproportionately angry it beggars belief.
That came today when I spied a menu for deserts at a restaurant and spotted the very thing that gets me going. Sod world poverty, social injustice, global warming and double dip recession. Yogurt flavoured Ice cream caught my attention today and I didn't like it.
Yogurt flavoured Ice Cream? Firstly whats the point? They are two rivalling food groups. Similar things. It's like hot dog flavoured burgers. Jacket potato flavoured crisps. What a waste of time. Who the f***k first came up with the idea? It's wrong.
If you want yogurt have yogurt. If you fancy ice cream have ice cream, why would you want ice cream that tastes of a healthy alternative. Ridiculous. OK I admit it's not exactly the worst thing in the world to get riled about and I'm sure many people enjoy it. But I can't think for the life of me why it exists. TurkeyHam. OK I get the point (just) But yogurt Ice cream I just can't get. It's just wrong. It's food incest. Cousins mating. Yogurt and ice cream are part of the same family and putting them together is a mutation of taste. The consequences are unthinkable. I bet they made it in Cornwall.
I can understand nearly every other flavour of ice cream because they are not rivals or alternatives. Bakewell Tart, rum and raisin, chocolate etc. Bring them all on. These are all flavours I welcome with open arms. Don't get me wrong nobody loves ice cream more than me. I love the stuff. Yogurt too. Greek, Total, full fat, fruit flavoured, runny, set. Whatever i don't mind I love it. But added together? As one. Dirty bastards.
Peter Kay did a whole routine out of Garlic Bread & Cheesecake. But yogurt Ice cream has been overlooked. It's far worse than any of the other bastardisations of food. It should be illegal. These clever bastard chefs have gone too far this time. Cereal tasting bread. Sausages tasting of bacon. Eggs that taste like spunk. What on earth next? Where will it end. It's all wrong.
Having said all that, in the name of research I had to order it. Tasted gorgeous. Love it. It's the future. It maybe all wrong but it tastes bastard good. Nice one weird genius chef thing. Now if only you can make my spunk taste of lager I'd never have to leave the house again
(What do you expect me to end on? Something clever, witty and sharp? Of course not I'm a crass, base blokey bloke. That's the best I can do today. The well runneth dry)
PS It's still pissing down, still no mans land after Xmas and between New Year and £1.8billion has been spent on the sales. Weird scenes inside the goldmine)
xx
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