All I can say about today is that I was on Radio Nick FM when i should have been on Magic FM. I only re-tuned at 8pm after my Trinity Road Meeting.
It wasn't a fast start to the week. More of a gentle loosener down the leg-side (cricket analogy.) Still I felt I needed it so it's up and at em tomorrow
This is the 298th most boring blog of the year. Speaking of which there are 20 days left of the year. If there are 365 days in a year andtoday is day 330 of the blog. That means I've lost 15 days. 2 whole weeks have gone. Have I been in blackout? Er no, so what the hell happened? Did i fall asleep and miss a couple of weeks? Can I count? Has Nostradamus changed the 2012 calendar as the world's apparently going to end? I'm confused. Where did that time go? Is it becuase I'm getting old or is it because I'm a great big knobhead. I will have to explore.
I have to say I'm well chuffed i don't experience blackouts anymore. They were a nightmare. I used to suffer them all the time when I was drinking. For anyone who hasn't had one. It is when you wake up in bed and your girlfriend isn't next to you, so you instantly know you've done something wrong the night before but cannot remember what. You have a massive feeling of dread and shame but you don't know why. You have to ask her, which is tricky because she's not talking to you, because you were a drunken arse. So it's catch 22.
Alternatively you have to ring up friends nervously pretending nothing's wrong but fishing for information about last night or trying hard like Magnum PI to detect if they have a harsh tone of voice to see if they are pissed off at you. If you did something wrong.
Then of course you have the Police. Say what you like about them but at least they fill in a blackout for you. Usually by reading out the statement the morning after you've been arrested. Waking up from blackout in a police cell is a sobering experience. It has happened 3 times to me. The breakfast is not great and your heart sinks when you realise where you are and try to piece together the night before. Unfortunately it's not like 'Hangover'. More 'drunken twat'. No tigers or Mike Tyson. Just Wetherspoons, vodka and a altercation in a kebab house. Not much Holywood movie in that is there?
I used to honestly think if I could remember the night before then I wasn't drunk. If I blacked out I was drunk, Those were the rules i lived by. And I doubted I had a drink problem?
Of course I was lucky I stopped in time. Blackouts can sometimers result in mowing someone down when driving (done drunk driving loads) doing harm to someone or yourself and sleeping with howlers. Having said that when I was drinking and in blackout I wasn't exactly a catch. More Bradd Shit than Pitt. I was a male howler and no-one would EVER sleep with me when I was drunk. it was either me or the homeless and it least they have a few quid from the Big Issue. I wasn't at my best when drunk.
It's odd I have lost 2 weeks this year. As long as they are the boring mid winter weeks I don't care. If it's the heady days of summer weeks I'll be pissed off. Any time kost tanning is not good in my book. Time has flown this year. Particulary the 2nd half of the year. Don't you think? It seems only recently we were gripped with Olympic fever and now it is Christmas fever.
Speaking of which I put my Icicle Lights up today. I'm not going to lie they aren't a show stopper. People are not coming from miles around to see them, well Hounslow anyway but I like them and they have 16 different combinations of flashes. It's like a dirty old man convention. I have it on one setting. Normal. Flashing lights are annoying. Bah humbug.
Easy day today as i felt yuky. Beautiful crisp and cold run by the Thames and into Richmond Park. A power cycle at home on the rollers. A bit of work and writing and a meeting at my favourite place in the evening. That's when I felt re-connected with the world and human again and for that I am pretty bloody grateful.
Have a tidy week
xx
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