I was up super late last night so it took me longer to get up than an 80 year old's pecker. Bright and breezy I was not this morning.
I usually like to get up and at em to a breakfast meeting followed by exercise on a Saturday morning but after yesterday's enormous festive feed I felt as alert as a Manic depressive on lithium. One of those days.
After faffing around for ages I hopped on my bike and churned out 90 mins on the rollers sweating more than a 70's Radio 1 DJ on the paedo list. I needed to purge yesterday's over indulgence.
This is where i began my new addiction. I was bought Homeland DVD box set for Christmas yesterday and I started watching it whilst cycling. Oh my god what a belter. I did 2 episodes and didn't want to go out.
Unfortunately I had an Osteopath appointment at 2.45pm so I dragged myself away from my new found addiction. I would happily do 12 episodes back to back if i could. Cancel Christmas I've got 10 episodes to do.
The Oesto fixed me up. Now that I've reached 40 it appears my body is falling apart. Pulled left hamstring, dodgy left hip and sore lower back. My muscles are stiffer than a Viagra convention. Everything hurts and I haven't even been training lots. Nuts. Gawd knows what I'll be like when I'm older. Time for some sunshine me thinks.
Then it was off to my old friends Xmas meal in the country. I have to admit the rain and onset of tiredness meant I would have happily curled up tonight and continued my Homeland marathon. I'm so pleased I didn't. I had an ace time.
There were 10 of us plus kids. A proper festive atmosphere. Completed by a stunning tree and surprisingly tasteful outdoor light display from my mate. It's Beaconsifeld so a wealthy area. I'm disappointed he didn't bring the whole tone of the neighbourhood down with a naff light display but each to their own.
it was fun seeing the kids run around all excited with presents, Santa Claus and Christmas. I asked one of my friends boys who is 5 what he wants for Xmas and he replied, 'Ipad'. Words fail me. His Dad muttered, 'looks like he'll be disappointed this year'.
Once the kids had been put to bed we sat down for Xmas dinner. I'm not one to eat late (other than midnight sugar binges of course) but we sat down at 9pm for a terrific slap up 3 course Xmas meal. Starter was shellfish with a salmon shaped like an Xmas tree, it was pure genius and we were well impressed.
The main course was Turkey with mountains of everything and desert was homemade cheesecake. Holy fuck it was delicious and I of course kept self control and discipline, only going back for seconds twice.
I OD'd on meat and stuffing. Christ I could barely move. Big mistake wearing a waistcoat. Anymore and the buttons would have pinged out like shrapnel. The 2nd big Xmas feed in two days was taking it's toll. The belt was loosened and the stuffing was literally knocked out of me. I got a massive meat sweat and my belly swelled up like I was pregnant. However You have to drive on through the bloatedness though and take it like a man. This is what I did for desert, claiming I was too full and didn't want any. Not realising it was homemade, the host broke me down in an Afghan style interrogation technique effectively saying 'you will eat cheesecake'. I relented and did. Not only the bit she served me, but half of the rest of it in the kitchen. I find gluttony so very easy. Spot the compulsive over eater. It is written all over my face and around my mouth. Delicious.
After dinner we all played a board game which was totally ace. Apples to Apples. You are dealt 5 cards which have random words on, then each person takes it in turn to be the judge. You are given a card with a word, you say it out loud, then every player has to lay down a card with a word on you think the judge will pick to associate with their allotted word. (Not sure if I've explained that well?)
You have to judge if the player will pick a logical meaning, a personal meaning or a random one. Cue much banter and shouting and accusations. It's such a simple game but so so good. We played it for hours and much merriment was had by all. I wonder if the new generation of Ipad and computer game kids will do such things after a meal. Oh god I sound such an old twat there don;t I?
Then I got some Reiki healing from another pal (as she smoked an electric cigarette and shovelled Pinot Grigo down her neck) and had the obligatory drunken conversation with someone about their drinking. Most sober people go through this at parties. One person who is drunk will inevitably say 'You do so well not drinking. I wish I could stop, I drink a lot but I'm not an alcoholic.' If i had a pound for everyone of those conversations I'd have enough for a good bottle of Brandy by now. #Standard.
I left at 4am and got to bed at 6am. Great fun, Great friends and very Christmasy. Not bad for a sober bastard. Mind you I made up for it in stuffing. Fuck me i better get extra Andrex in tomorrow and give Bernard Matthews a bell. Reckon my new nickname should be Paxo.
Stuffed. 4 Xmas lunches down. 1 to go.
xx
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