Mileage 0 - Weekly Mileage 0 - Ill!
No training today on the account i woke up feeling like I'd been on the piss with Jocky Wilson, Oliver Reed and George Best. I felt like all 3 of them (RIP)
Headache, no energy, body aches, bad stomach. Man ill. Devastated.
I was immediately struck at two things that put me at a disadvantage today;
1 - I'm a man
2 - I'm a pussy
Both of these things clearly make me a terminal case today. I'll be lucky to reach lunchtime. I best put my affairs in order, though to be fair I've had more than enough of those in my time.
After a long sleep, i crawled to the sofa for a morning of Test Match Cricket, Homes Under the Hammer, Flog It and Bargain Hunt. The biggest brain thought i had was that Flog it pisses all over Cash In the Attic. That was the extent of my intellectual activity.
When i feel this ill, i have no energy, no desire to do anything, no concentration and i just want to veg and watch shit TV all day. Like being a student again really.
By lunchtime i had convinced myself i had M.E. That my Adrenal system was shutting down and i had something seriously wrong. Who needs 8 years in medical school when Dr Evans is on the ball? I prescribed myself Tomato Soup and Boiled eggs as a cure.
After feeling desperately sorry for myself, making tiny little groans and wondering where the barrage of calls and sympathy had got to, i dragged myself to the supermarket to get Man Ill goods. Grapes, tomato soup and lemsip Max. It was only me, the housewives, skivers, unemployed and retired wondering around Sainsburys. Not sure about Taste The Difference, but you could certainly taste melancholy in the air.
I hung around the pharmacy counter looking especially forlorn in the hope the fit girl behind the counter would take pity on me and nurse me for the next hour/day/week/month/year/life. She didn't look up.
Then it was back home to lay on sofa again, especially for the afternoon reruns of Minder and Only Fools and Horses. The TV equivalent of a hug.
I knew i was in trouble when i started crying at Only Fools. God, what's happening to me? I've let all mankind down. Still at least it wasn't to Rocky II. I always cry at that. Oh god, i noticed it's on later, pass the Kleenex, and that's for the tears, i haven't even got the energy for a good hard w............down boy, that's grim (sorry readers)
So, all in all a disappointing day. By the evening i felt a bit better and realised it wasn't terminal. It wasn't M.E and my adrenal system is holding up, whatever that is.
Gutted i couldn't train or do anything really, but if I'm being honest a small part of me loves being ill, as it gives me a non guilt reason and excuse to do absolutely nothing all day. A freedom pass to sloth. Tolerable fuck all.
Still, if i did that for my than 1 day i do think i would go mentally ill, even Judge Judy was being considered at one point, and that's before i even looked at Gabby Logan on Channel 5 and 'Escape to the Country'.
I survived readers, my Nan would be proud
xx
No comments:
Post a Comment