Mileage - 7; Time 56 minutes; Weekly Mileage 13
And so to the middle of the week. Energy Low. Mood Low. Bank Balance Low. Trousers Not. It's not a great day.
Bad diet, back on the diet coke and caffeine and Bad news from Wales about me Nan meant today was like wading through quicksand. Felt sad. Felt sorry. Felt pity. Most of it dominated for myself. Not a good space.
It was compounded at 3pm, when my 1st raft of business card orders came in from the troops at work. I thought to myself - 10 years ago i was a Commercial Manager of a Premier League Football Club, doing £100k deals, organising executive clubs, mixing with ex players and rich businessmen. When i first got sober in AA they said you will have a life beyond your wildest dreams (Only a greedy ungrateful alcoholic would demand something BEYOND their wildest dreams, like they are not good enough. classic)
So today here i sat, 10 years down the line, taking stationary orders from a 25 year old. It made me smile. Clearly My new mission in life is not to spread the profile and destruction of addiction on people and families and society. It's not to help others. It's not to train people to be fitter and healthier. It's not to run comedy nights. It;s not to be a responsible and helpful family member.
No, my new calling in life is to spread the importance of stationary to the world. Where would we be without it? How would we flip contact details to someone? Write a covering letter to? Send anything important? Christ - what on earth would we do? No flyer's, posters. Printers would go out of business. Millions of crucial letters would cease to be sent. Granted their would be no Junk Mail, but what of everything else?
People chopping down trees in forests would be out of a job. Families destroyed. People would be destitute in South America. OK, granted the world's trees would remain untouched and therefore create a better healthier world without global warming for the next 500 years, but fuck that, i need a compliment slip to go in my letter.
I need an A4 folder to slip some important brochures in that agencies charge fortunes designing and writing and printing that no-one fucking reads anyway. God, the designers - i forgot, they would be out of a job. It would literally be Stationary Armageddon. Destruction of life as we know it.
Wow, you see, i am going to ride this Stationary Manager train. No-one truly understands the importance of what I'm doing. I am single handed keeping the whole of south America in employment. Fuck it i may even order some of those branded Post it Notes now - maybe that will feed another family for a month.
Yes, my new role in life is a humanitarian stationary manager. A sort of Princess Diana of the paper world. Visiting poor 3rd world nations in Chinos and polo shirt, looking concerned at the local little poor people and visiting paper mills and factories pretending to be interested in their plight. I can see it all pan out.
Maybe I'll start a Charity and call it 'Incontinent Compliment Slips' - for people in stationary who have trouble pissing themselves. A sad and underestimated condition that affects 4% of the stationary world.
I started off 2012 wondering what my direction, my calling was. I have now found it. Thank God. The God of Envelopes. A Life Beyond My wildest Dreams. Those Bastards were right. It's not parties, women, orgies, wealth, success thats beyond my wildest dreams. It's stationary. Who would have predicted that one?
See, i felt better already after that. My lightness and sense of perspective came back. It is actually only a tiny part of my crucial role and no biggy. But it gives me Mirth. It helps to keep a sense of humour i think. I lost that this morning.
At least i wasn't as bad as the poor fucker who threw themselves in front of a train at The Oval on the Northern Line this morning. Dreadful place to be, and i feel for both him and his family in having to deal with it and come to terms with it. A Low place to be. They say Suicide is the ultimate selfish act. Very Harsh but true. Couldn't he have waited until after Rush Hour. Held me up for 2 hours.
(that was a crass and harsh joke, of course i feel genuine empathy and profound sadness for the mental position that person found themselves in, but as the financial crisis has worsened the number of Suicides on London Underground has increased 30%. Either that or the £10.40 Travelcard increases have really had an effect)
Later i went out for a 7 mile run around Richmond Park. A little bit of a trudge but got into my stride later and it ended up being a nice trundle. Did some 100m sprints too, sprint, run, sprint, run - just to mix up a bit but legs felt OK.
Evening was spent at a meeting which helped to lift the mood and put me back together again, and also after hearing from my Mum about a lovely plan for my Nan for the next few weeks/months. Sounds strange but in a way the bad news today has made things clearer and more dignified and almost brings a sense of peace.
I'm not too spiritual but i get a feeling that God is lining things up in the right way. When something feels right, then that's Gods will in my book. And of it's OK with the big fella or whoever Your God is (if you have one of course) then it's OK with me. I know my place.
As Terry from Bury once said to me when i said i don't like hearing about or knowing what God is, as i run away from orthodox religion. I was feared about and this former Pig Farmer said to me in a broad Bury accent - "The only thing you need to know about God, Nick. Is that you're not fucking it".
That'll do for me, lets keep it simple and not complicated. I'll leave that debate for other's to write ultimately pointless books about, hey Dr Richard.
Until tomorrow jog bloggers. We're all in it together. The Human Race.
Love
xx
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