How ace is it to wake up with the sun shining? It instantly makes you feel just that slightest bit lighter. Don't get me wrong if you're lost in the deep dark fog of depression/misery, then a bit of sun doesn't really touch the sides.
However, for most of us the first shoots of summer after a long, dark, wet winter is always gratifying.
Usually on a Saturday I wake up early and out to a meeting. Then the indecision really kicks in. Gym, run, cycle, yoga, another meeting, coffee with mates? God you can really do your own head in. That's before you even contemplate the afternoon. Let alone the evening.
Not having kids or a family means there is usually plenty of time to devote to indecision. Those with families tend not to have that luxury. Saturday's is usually a whirl of parties, sports activities, play clubs, practice. My mates are grateful to flop in front of X Factor come the evening and mentally vegetate.
For those of us without such responsibilities and an over active egoic head, it gives us a splendid opportunity to unnecessarily stress ourselves out with deeply unimportant mundane indecision's.
There is always a regular battle between what SHOULD I be doing v What do I WANT to be doing. Sometimes this can rage for hours. When you live in the egoic head, or alcoholic thinking, the concept of living in the present and enjoying the moment is completely alien. Instead the neurotic whirl churns on.
This is when I love to observe my head. When the 'SHOULD's move in or the RIGHTS, you can usually guarantee some kind of restlessness. When you are mindful in the now and just enjoying what you are doing, there is a greater chance of serenity. Life can be enjoyed then, not endured.
I have fought this battle for so long, it's such a waste of time and energy.
Today I figured, 'Fuck it' I'm just going to let it happen. I woke up late (8am) and padded around. Then I got on the turbo trainer bike and cycled whilst watching a documentary on the financial crisis. By now the sun was beating so I went out for a run (more of a trundle due to a dodgy back) along the river. The top came off and I felt the sun on my back and I cant tell you how good it felt.
I stopped by the river and took some time to meditate. Closing my eyes and feeling the sun on my face, the noise of the river and chatter of overweight tourists debating if they should buy an ice cream. It was a great moment. I really enjoyed it.
Then it was back to the run, a couple of really slow sprints up Richmond Hill, a few hurls of abuse from blokes because I was running with my top off and home.
A bit of a clean up, I do believe the hoover actually came out briefly, which for me is an annual event, shower and now I'm off out for a late lunch with the missus, and to the theatre to watch Ghost Stories with some friends later.
Not a bad Saturday is it? On paper it's a belter really. Very relaxed, sun is shining. Everything is calm. Except....that nagging voice at the back of the head. "You should be doing something better. Go to the coast, be spontaneous, you're always doing the same thing, you're boring."
It's nice to know that little devil inner voice is vying for attention. It's desperate to fuck the day up. Then it will be happy. If it's not trying to make me indecisive, it's criticising the choices I do actually make.
Well, sorry to let you down inner voice. Today you're just going to have to fuck off because you WILL NOT derail the day.
It's a great opportunity to practice mindfulness and live in the moment. If you do that the voice is silent. It cannot get in and that is one of the most interesting parts of The Inside Job, it's nearly always interesting to observe.
Have a tip top and tidy weekend Jobbers
Together We Are Stronger
Nicholas Evans
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