I have untold respect for alcoholism today. Those of you who read this will know that anyway. Yesterday's tragic news just reinforces it for me.
I cannot tell you the amount of people I have seen turn up at the doors of AA completely fucked, get a few days/weeks under their belts, start looking at inner child, therapy stuff then disappear for a while only to come back totally fucked again. I have seen people repeat this cycle so many times, it saddens me. Some never come back. Lost souls. God help them.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking therapy, counselling, group therapy or inner child stuff. Far from it. Any kind of treatment I support whole heartedly.
It just frustrates me sometimes that alcoholism/addiction is not given the respect and credence I feel it deserves. It's little to do with drinking and everything to do with the alcoholic personality. It's a form of mental illness and until you find out exactly what it is and give yourself enough time to settle into sobriety, learn about how it manifests itself in you, wrapping itself around personality traits, how can you find out about other things that maybe wrong?
Some people are damaged. Some people need serious professional help. Real love, care and understanding. You cannot smash recovery into people. Unfortunately it's for people who want it not need it - otherwise there would hardly be any deaths from alcoholism or addiction.
People die of the disease every day. Some die from poisoning, overdosing or as a direct result of intoxication. Some die of organ failure, health issues, accidents. Some die by their own hands. Unable to take the mental torture. It's a sad, tragic, nasty, dirty illness. Just as depression or bi-polar is. My heart truly goes out to those who really suffer.
I am in no way placing myself alongside those who have it savagely. I have experience in my own family of people suffering from the dual alcoholism and bi-polar. It's savage and makes my heart bleed. What on earth can be done? It's such a horrible feeling being powerless. I am lucky I guess in the sense my disease didn't accelerate to the extent of other people's and I don't suffer from others. I really am fortunate. I know that.
What makes me sad too is the thousands of family members affected. Wives, husbands, mothers and fathers? Brothers and sisters, children left behind. The psychological and sociological damage is huge. The sad thing is it lasts for generations and is largely hidden.
Have you looked into the eyes of a mother who has lost her son? Have you seen the pain and sadness. It goes to the soul. Have you talked to a child growing up without a parent? It leaves an indelible mark that has to be lived with forever.
Now please don't get me wrong, I'm not making excuses nor am I claiming it to be sadder or more tragic than other cases.
There are untold tragedies. Illnesses, abuse, abandonment, suffering. There is fuck loads of it and please do not think I am trying to claim all the sadness for addiction. I am not. I can only speak from personal experience and the pain I have seen and the ignorance shown. It's something very very close to my heart and when we lose a brother or sister in the fellowship it really fires me up, stirs the emotions and makes me redouble my respect for the disease and my empathy for those who suffer (the ones on the receiving end too)
Anyway sermon over, I just needed to get that off my chest. Mind you all of that could be immaterial if Russia invades Ukraine and World War 3 starts. Clock is ticking.........
Together We Are Stronger
Nicholas Evans
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