It's been a long winter. We've been battered by wind, rain and flooding. Just when you thought you got through the worst of it. BOOM, along came February and fucked us with the floods. February is a right cunt of a month. It makes you believe that the good times are on their way (March) only to finish you off with a kidney shot (or a big sodding storm)
This country is obsessed by weather. We either talk about it, write about it or set our day by it. When half the country recently flooded, the media almost got a hard-on. Suddenly the weather became headline news. It's been a long slow grinding winter that has stretched on like an Eastenders Omnibus. The news covered it like a state occasion.
Waking up to splendid sunshine, clear blue skies and 18 degrees today felt like we had finally got through winter. We had survived. We had made it. Yes! Well done team. Spring is here.
There is something about sunshine and clear blue skies that puts a spring in your step. You feel a little more optimistic. There is a lighter feel. Spring is a great time of the year.
Today was very funny. When we have been starved of sunshine, the merest hint of good weather is enough to dress like Baywatch. I saw so many people in shorts and vests. Most of which were built for the pub not the track. It became impossible to tell which were men or women such was the display of vest tits around.
In London, because there is so little space, all the parks and green areas are teeming with pasty faced urbans. All desperate for a bit of fresh air after being couped up all winter.
I went to the park. It was packed and brilliant. People eating ice creams, laying around fucking about on their phones, sunbathing fucking about on their phones, playing football (on their phones), families ignoring each other fucking around on their phones, people were even doing BBQ's for fucks sake. Some bloke looked like he had set fire to his entire family such was the amount of smoke he generated.
I love Britain, we are genuinely insane. 16 degrees and we carry on like it's Copacabana Beach! In Earlsfield.
I remained in t-shirt and jeans I hasten to add. No cock jocks and vest for me. The walk in the park was slightly affected by me putting my back out in the gym yesterday. It's proper fucked and I can't straighten up, so I spent the entire walk looking as if I was trying to duck something sideways. Not good for my image but great for the ego.
Guess what the lead story on the Evening News was when I got home?
"Today the Sun shone!"
I shit you not it was. We are that dull in the UK the lead story was that the sun came out. Predictably it showed pictures of people in the park, eating ice creams, wearing shorts/vests, sunbathing whilst fucking around on their phones. Pretty much everything I had just seen in the park.
Is it too much to ask that the TV news to report stuff more than I had just seen with my own eyes. Can it not extend itself a bit? Tomorrows headlines..........2 Trains were late on the district line. Come on TV news get a fucking grip.
Apparently it's sunny all week, can't wait for the news updates
Together We Are Stronger
Nicholas Evans
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