Long day. It's 11pm. I've just got in from a meeting so I'll keep it short.
No more about anger today. Let's save that for another day. I think 3 days on the same subject is long enough.
Today I listened to the law of attraction on audio book, in the morning I prayed like a bitch and meditated a little. I decided I was going to have a good day. Here's a few things that I found vaguely interesting about it;
1 - Walked past a lady rattling a bucket collecting for Breast Cancer this morning. She was very lively. When people chucked some money in, she yelled. "Well done Sir/Madam. You'll have a good day". I felt guilty for not contributing. I liked her nature and felt she was willing the money in (I was listing to the Law Of Attraction at the time) - You don't mind giving to people like that as you know their heart and soul is in it. Didn't stop me turning back though, but she caught my attention none the less and I liked it. I love seeing people love what they are doing. No matter what it is.
2 - Suitably guilty I walked past an old boy on Waterloo Bridge selling the Big Issue. He was smoking a roll up and minding his own business. His face looked like he'd lived a 100 lives, I had to re-address my guilt and I liked his face so he got £2 and a silk cut. He seemed so grateful so I gave him a bit of a manly pat on the back and hoped to god it didn't come across as condescending. I liked it though.
3 - I had a bit of positive news at work and immediately went to share it with my boss. He didn't seem as elated as me, in fact he seemed a little grumpy. I observed my alcoholic head immediately think, "What have you done wrong Nick. He doesn't like you. Maybe they'll get rid of you". All from one little look!! It's amazing how ones own alcoholic thinking can kick in without any encouragement. It's so self centred and negative. Truth is he may have been stressed, he may have been distracted. None of it is my business and it probably had nothing to do with me. I have no control on other peoples thoughts or the future. I observed it and smiled at it, it really fascinates me the way it places you in the centre of everything. Pure alcoholism.
4 - After a busy day at work, when it's easy to forget about positivity, or a spiritual path or a new way of thinking, I plugged in 'The Secret' audio book on the tube. It was packed and standing only. Suddenly A seat became available. This is usually cue for a rugby scrum as everyone jostles to slump in it. Elbowing pensioners and pregnant women out the way. Instead, I stood over it and beckoned a lady who looked stressed and was standing next to me into the seat. She wasn't pregnant. She wasn't old. I just did it because it felt good. A random act of kindness. The fact she was wearing a short skirt and became easier to look up didn't come into it (joking)
Point is it made me feel good about myself and I liked it.
5 - I did a chair at a meeting and did my usual 25 minutes stream of consciousness. Not sure what came out but people seemed to respond. It was a powerful meeting. But you know what that helped me the most? A guy who was less than 3 months sober sharing about humility and changing his thinking. He was effectively doing the opposite of what he usually does. It made him feel good. he also shared about being in hospital recently and how amazing the nurses were to him. They are paid sod all yet have such grace and humility to help others. It had a big effect on him and made him feel grateful.
Listening to him made me feel the same. I took from what he shared, do the opposite to my ego and remember humility. Not a bad thing to remember. I liked it.
I liked today. Nothing dramatic or grand happened but I liked it. It's now 12am and I have a choice. Go to bed and get some rest before a busy day tomorrow, or make some more tea and watch 'Nazi Mega Structures' on National Geographic until 2am. I know what a logical, sane and balanced person would do. What you would do. Must go though, kettles boiling......
Together We Are Stronger
Nicholas Evans
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