Day 294 - Sat 3rd Nov - Friends 40th, gary Marlow & Acceptance

I celebrate mundanity. The every day extra-ordinary of the ordinary. When I was a teenager I thought the answers in life were in the extraordinary. In the profound, philosophers, poets, writers & thinkers.

Then, when I found out I wasn''t that clever or spectacularly amazing and profound and original I decided to get drunk instead. After all everyone who I deemed interesting were drunks, so I figured If I can't match them for talent I could match them for drinks. It was a flawed plan.

Now I don't drink my view has changed. I still think/know I'm not a precocious exceptional talent. I still know I'm not an intellectual or original heavyweight. Preferring Ronaldo to Rimbaud. But that's OK today. I've accepted it. I'll leave all the heavyweight intellectual debates to what my father would have called 'the clever bastards'. I accept my limitations, not that it is a negative thing but it's important to be who you are. Attempting to be something else just ends in failure and Scrambled Egg on your face. (or Poached, boiled, fried depending on your personal taste)

What I have learnt is the meaning of life IS in the every day. Yes of course it is important and valid to read, to learn other cultures, thoughts, beliefs, ways of living. The cataloging of my everyday mundanity is an ideal medium to highlight the extra-ordinary. It is so easy to miss in every day life. When i am reminded of this I realise everything I need to learn about life surrounds me every day. It's just that someday I choose not to see it. If I'm in ego and self centred thinking how can i actually see what is happening to the world around me? Someone being kind, an act of generosity, an original thought, a laugh, a joke, DIY, Painting, writing, not acting a certain way. Whatever it is. It happens every day and some of it is pretty extra-ordinary.

Lets take today as an example. It wasn't an incredible day but it was a good one. Why? Well because it was simple and fun.

It Started off with a meeting and then coffee with a couple of pals. Subjects covered during the breakfast included paedophilia, racism, Chelsea FC, Jimmy Saville, Amercian TV dramas, gossip and interval training. Not bad by 10am. I like that. Lesson learnt? I have two ears and one mouth for a reason. I learnt that Chelsea fans chanting to Nani in midweek, 'you're just a shit Michael Jackson' is genuinely funny.

This was followed by a lovely trot around Richmond Park & the Thames marvelling at the winter colours and emptying trees. I learnt that I actually live in a great place and I love the view from Richmond hill. There is nothing like space and expanse to clear the mind.

Then it was to one of my oldest friends 40th birthday party. The kids shift was from 3-7pm, so I arrived at 7.01pm, just as they were going to bed. Perfect timing.

The house was decked in 40th balloons, bunting, cake, food, people everywhere. It was ace. I saw some friends with their brand new 4 week old baby. The father is a truly lovely man. A great big man with a tiny baby, making the economies of scale rather amusing. He doted on his boy and you could tell he will make an excellent father. He's a good guy and you could see how happy he was. Nice moment. He also told me a story about the birth I think is world class.

It was a difficult birth and the chord was wrapped around the baby's neck. The doctors were worried and it looked touch and go. Everyone was concerned. After a few hours it was getting critical, so the doctor pulled the father aside and said;

Doctor - "We're getting concerned if the baby will come out, what do you want us to do?"

At which point my pal did the best reply I've ever heard; He said;

Father - "Listen Doc, I'm a carpenter, If your front door is fucked I'm your man, but I haven't a clue about childbirth so why are you asking me? Your'e the expert what do you suggest?"

Doctor - "I suggest we get him out"

Father - "There you go then. Do it"

Brilliant. I love that so much. Humility and humour in one worried exchange. They got the little fella out and all was well. They looked ultra happy. It was great to see.

There were so many old friends I hadn't seen for ages and it was great to catch up. One of them (I shan't give names as it's not for me to blow their anonymity) is a 36 year old man. He's Married to a lovely girl and they make an awesome couple. I love them very much. They raised an interesting topic and one I will explore in greater detail this week.

He works in fashion with loads of beautiful people and was pulled aside by his boss recently for a 'word'. Clearly worried he may have done something wring or god forbid his job was in jeopardy. He went into his boss' office with trepidation.

'Sit down', he was told. 'I've got something to tell you'. He feared the worst and braced himself. 'Those boots you're wearing. They've got to go. And your style. It's awful. You need to get a new one. You don't fit in. Go and look at Gary Barlow. His style is something you should consider'.

Clearly shocked and devastated by this brutal comment, he left for the day clearly wondering if this was valid. He got home to his wife and asked her if his style was outdated in his 20's. She basically said 'Yes'. 'I've been on at you for years'. Finally it took someone of authority to help him change his style.

He immediately threw away 70% of his wardrobe (or for single men out there, Floordrobe) and as he lived in Buckinghamshire, was immediately christened, Gary Marlow. A brilliant creation and one I  think is truly funny.

It brought up a big debate we had about men's style and reaching a certain age. It seems that a few of the boys are having a crisis of style now that they are mid 30's and 40. I will explore this in great detail. Though clearly I'm on dangerous ground seeing as my style of aging failed rock star with tight jeans and cowboys boots is one that some people find ridiculous (which I do deep down but am enjoying it until I get old and have to go down the Chino route)

But it is something that clearly affects alot of men of a partiucular age, so we shall revisit the Gary Marlow theme in the week. I like that alot.

The party went on at a sedate pace. People drifted off with various baby paraphernalia, kids were put to bed, adults came out to play. It was chilled and great to hang out and talk shit with proper friends. Proper people until the early hours.

Two things caught my eye and made me laugh. Firstly was a good pal of mine who had an Afro, but had a dilemma. He had just landed a big corporate contract with the Daily Mail, so was toying with the idea of 'going corporate' and getting his haircut. He was undecided. Whilst he welcomed the business he still wanted that freedom of the surf dude look he so loved, even though the general opinion was that he looked more like Billy the Fish or a traveller.

After the 6th shot of sambuca he was convinced by his peers the hair had to go. So he said to another friend.(he had just met that night) who happened to be a make up artist. 'can you do my hair?' It was 1am, they were all drunk. So of course she said, 'sure'.

And so followed a very funny scene of the haircutting. Firstly they couldn't find a comb, then some scissors that were sharp enough. They did a few more shots in the meantime whilst the equipment was found. Then when they were ready, the immortal line was said that I would so love to hear in hair salons up and down the land, "Do you both want another shot before you start." Superb. They did.

Incredibly the haircut came out OK. Incredible seeing as the girl cutting it was seeing double. It was clearly a fluke but he still had his ears left in tact so all was groovy. Drunken hairdressing is clearly the way forward. He looked magnificent.

The final line of the day was spoken by the host. After one of the dads went up to check on the children and take them for a mid night pee, one of the young girls was being potty trained and was in a habit of peeing the bed. They were directly above another of the dad's children in the bunk beds.

This led to the other immortal line from a concerned Dad. "Is your daughter pissing on my daughter."  I don't need to add to that, just a line I rarley hear and one which caused huge mirth all round.

It was A great night, back late and so funny to catch up with old friends. A fun night had by all and Gary Marlow is a touch of genius

Oh, I was also going to talk about acceptance, but this is such a long blog today you're probably losing the will to live by now and want to go out and watch Bond or to shops and get dinner. So I'll leave you on a wonderful quote about acceptance, a topic I shall cover in the week. It's pretty apt after the comments this week. I love this quote and one I certainly need to take notice of and do every day

Loving everyone big time.

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I can accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

Bye for now

xx