Karma Sutra v Magna Carta - Sex and History a lethal combination but I'm going to vote for the Karma Sutra all day long.
Speaking English abroad to make them understand you - One for the BNP Brigade that one, I think I'll give it a pass
Would you rather have extreme fish odour or scales on your face - MMMM, with Palestine and Israel bombing the shit out of each other I think this blog topic is crucial. Someones been on the hallucinogenics again.... I'll pass, but if pushed scales.
If someone comes back to earth after being away for 30 years what would they make of sms/facebook/Oyster cards/Ipads/modern life - Blimey how long have you got? A good topic when I have a spare 3 days
Etiquette and spacial awareness in Swimming Lanes - Good topic. A)There is none and B)There is none
Wotsits v Quavers? - easy, neither Salt and Vinegar Discos. Both Wotsits and Quavers taste like cheesey cock. Rank.
People's perceptions - Great topic. One I shall deal with another time - Quick answer; Mostly wrong
Movember - Men's facial Hair and People's Perceptions of it. Bingo the winner
During the month of Movember, a Testicular Cancer Charity introduced a great idea a few years ago. Movember. The idea was for men to grow moustaches during the month for fund & awareness raising. It's become huge and around 10-20% of the male population in UK have joined in and started growing all kinds of magnificent moustaches. From the classic Handlebar all the way to the controversial Hitler (and not Grace Jones style) men throughout the land have been growing facial hair at a popularity not seen since the 70's.
Me? I've plumped for a beard. I can't really do a solid moustache it just makes me look like a Paedophile so I'll stick to a beard. I've gone down the Gibb route. A fine beard role model if ever there was one. For any bloke wishing to go down the moustache route of course the ultimate template is 'The Selleck'. A great big mass of hair on the top lip, ideally topped off with a Hawian shirt, a Ferrari and a helicopter.
Most blokes growing tache's look superb. It mixes up the modern man and makes them look a little old school and manly. Most women in my experience actually like men's facial hair as they see it as a sign of virility, masculinity and manliness. The only trouble is when they actually go to kiss their man, it becomes like snogging a dog with a Brillo pad stuck to it's nozzle. Facial hair is to look at not rub against. The number of cases of female chaffing/rashes has increased 200% this month. Nivea sales have shot through the roof.
Facial hair is a radical departure for blokes. Some stick with it through thick and thin. Barry Gibb and my Uncle Ken for instance. 65 and keeper of beard and tache since the early 70's/ These men are to be applauded for their commitment to the facial hair. Others are a little fickle and only do the Movember thing.
It highlights how fashions change. Hair was in during the 70's and early 80's. All men had beards, sideburns and big bouffants. Women had Farah Fawcett's, big bushes and hairy armpits. Now women are hairless (mostly) and blokes clean shaven.
Men now in their 20's and early 30's seem to look like ponces (apologies for being homophobic it's meant in a tongue and cheek way). They clean shave, sculpt eyebrows, fake tan and look like girls. Even the England Rugby team are doing a Towie. Gelled hair, fake tan, sculpted eyebrows and coloured boots. Where have all the real men gone? In their 40's that's where.
I'm a fan of facial hair as it reconnects blokes back to an era when they were blokes. When a low fat diet was extra Rothmans, political correctness was voting SDP and Male grooming was using soap. When a 'facial' was something entirely different (see Pearl Necklace) Now it's all Clarins Black Pepper Facial scrub and body butter. What the fuck did we do before facial scrubs? Nivea soap and a flannel as hard as sandpaper.
There have been many fine examples of moustaches and beards throughout history. You can obviously discount Hitler. You have to be a brave man to grow one of those in Movember. But Dali, Selleck, Gibb, Bellamy, the beatnick poets. You cannot imagine them without facial hair can you?
Is male grooming making us look better? Does it improve the male experience? Do people's perceptions change when Man sports facial hair? It was the norm back in the day. But did women really like it? Of course they did as they were hairy too. A bloke with a massive beard would go down on a woman with massive bush and they would cancel each other out. Hair on hair was fine.Like a scientific form of a score draw.
Nowadays it's hairless on hairless which is fine too. Again it cancels each other out but add Movember into the mix with men sprouting facial hair all over the place and women don't know what to do. Modern girls need to man up and grow some balls and take on the facial hair challenge, ( that's probably the most impappropriate use of those words to construct a sentence in the history of sentences.)
Modern girls need to experience a full beard and large tache. Too many of them have been spoilt by the modern poncey man. The nearest they've got to facial hair is a Craig David goatee. This is plain wrong. Girls have been sheltered. Their mothers had to go through hours of kissing their man with a beard sharper than Edward Scissor hands. Women of my generation developed iron chins. Girls today are soft as shite. Complaining if one scrape gets on them after hours of snogging. It also disrupts their fake tan and makes them look like they've got orange peel on their chins.
What of people's perception of facial hair? Well obviously the main one this month is 'are you doing it for Movember?' Women like a bit of stuble I think, But on the main I suppose most women's perception of facial hair is an overiding negative. They simply think differently these days. 40 + and chicks love a beard. Anything younger and you may aswell be Gary Glitter. Such is the contempt they are viewed in. Blokes sporting it of course think they are a sex god. A cross between Warren Beatty and Tom Jones.
If a clean shaven bloke and a facial haired bloke go head to head in an interview. The clean shaven will get it. People are inadvertently facially hairist these days. There is certainly hairy prejudice. Clean shaven signifies being organised, clean and sharp. Beards and taches signify lazy, disorganised and deviant.
Then of course you've got 'The Sutcliffe Syndrome'. The UK's most notorious serial killer had a beard and slayed 13 women. That shit sticks. It seeps into the subconcious.
Finally of course you have people like Russell Brand sporting beards. This again puts people off. It's not so much the beard that makes him look like a c**t. It's the fact he is a c**t. Big difference. Having said which, i've never met the man, he's probably very lovely and visits OAP's and stuff so it's wroing of me to me to be so rude and scathing. I hate that about myself, so judgmental, so quick to judge. It's not right to think of him as an annoying try so hard to be cool wanker is it? I must improve my moral compass. Besides I look a right knobhead with a beard so I'm a fine one to talk.
One problem I have found growing facial hair in my 40's. My beard is actually quite white. A few more years and I'll be in Uncle Albert territory, though at least I'll be able to get work 4 weeks of the year at Christmas. Of course, there you go - the ultimate beard. Father Chritmas. He's not perceived as lazy is he? Of course the ultimate proof that facial hair is a good thing. If it's good enough for Father Xmas it's good enough for me.
One final word of warning though girls and boys. Stay clear of the goatee. Nobody likes to see a vagina on a mans face, unless of course you're being sat on. Anything else is just unacceptable.
You tell me though girls - Facial hair. Is it a Yes or No?
xx
When you fall for someone, you fall for someone, facial hair or not. Having always thought of hairy backs on men as anathema, imagine my surprise in my first intimate exchange with my now ex-husband when I saw his chest and back were like those on Mediterranean beaches I would run a mile from...and I still married him! Though, So far I haven't experienced the vagina on a man's face on my face, as you've put it so delicately, I'll have to think twice about it
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