The triple century is up. 300 consecutive days of writing. That's 7,200 hours. Not that I've spent it all writing. The blog usually takes between 1 and 2 hours a day. Usually late at night in my pants and finished off early in the morning, again in me pants. That's probably too much useless information as I'm sure you won't want the image of me in my Grundy's in your mind. It may put you off your supper.
I used to take less time writing it but over the past few weeks I've attempted to put more thought and effort into it. I've surprised myself as I've hardly ever done anything for 300 days other than smoke. It's a landmark. I guess it shows that if you discipline yourself and put your mind to something you can actually do it. A good lesson as I consider myself un-disciplined & constantly tell myself I can't do it rather than can. The glass is naturally half empty so I have to put action in to shake it up to half full (I hate that terminology by the way so I have no idea why I'm using it)
It's been a fascinating process. The rhythm of the year has ebbed and flowed. It will take me ages to read it all. I write every day and move on. I may well try to edit it into some kind 'diary' and see if it holds any interest. It's odd though, as many of the things I have written about seem like another lifetime, let alone a few months ago. Is that what happens as you get older? Time seems to change it's course. It's Christmas soon and I can't quite believe it. I now sound officially middle aged. 'Where does time go?
I have learnt many lessons in writing it. I will explore them more at the end of the year but one of the main things I have learnt is authentification. Some days I have nothing going on in my head, no inspiration so when I write I sometimes try to inject humour or topics that my heart isn't in. This seems to show and the quality is poorer and I'm not being authentic. Not being me. On the days i write exactly whats in my head or feel or take time to explore a subject I am interested in (Yesterday's Men's fashion Guide as an example) I really enjoy it and feel good about myself. I enjoy the process and it flows better. You can't be on every day but it's a great lesson in daily patterns of behaviour.
The theme of today's blog is 300. I googled '300 ' and the following came up in the search. 300 AD film. Loads of muscly men in skirts. Secondly was 'The woman who has 300 orgasms a day'. Guess which one I clicked on?
300 orgasms a day? Jesus Christ that's immense. Where's her number? Michelle Thompson has whats known as Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS) or the more commonly known term 'The constant horn'. Incredible. I mean don't get me wrong I like the horn. Somedays you wake up and it's just on you, but to have it constantly must be a nightmare. Most men would think of her as their dream bird but after around 2 or 3 days you'd be hiding in the shed. 'Can't we just sit in and watch Holby City?' It's the polar opposite of Married couples who tend to develop the Nonexistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (NSAS) - when they tend to say 'Why are we watching Holby City again, can't we go dogging?'
Apparently she worked in a biscuit factory but had to give up after the machines gave her the horn too much. Mind you if I was surrounded by Jammie Dodgers every day I'd have the fucking horn.
If you don't believe me here's the story http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/lifestyle/sex-relationships/michelle-thompson-who-has-persistent-sexual-arousal-syndrome-finds-man-who-satisfies-her/story-e6frf01i-1225797973089
The horn is a very complicated thing. I mean it's a tricky subject. Of course there are many ways you can alleviate the horn. Having sex with an actual real person, porn, masturbation, text sex or watching Top Gear. They all get rid of the horn.
Some people have a higher sex drive than others. Of course lifestyle tends to dictate it too. I mean if you have loads of young kids, job, responsibilities and are constantly busy, knackered. The last thing your missus will want to do is nosh you off. I mean after women give birth men have to wait for ages to get some action. It's apparently very tricky. Your beloved missus has given birth to your child, you are full of joy and wonder. For the mother it is such a hard job, lack of sleep, birth, labour, everything. They are a little frazzled and could be suffering the effects of post natal depression. They have gone through months of emotional turmoil
So when the man approaches her it is very typical for the female to reject his advances. If Man persists with the words 'what about a hand job then', this can lead to very grave consequences like being punched or kicked in the knackers. You simply cannot treat the horn lightly.
I'm not really sure why I started to write about the horn. Now that I have it's given me the right horn. I'm going to have to watch Top Gear now to sort it out. The vision of Richard Hammond joking about Ford Focus' or Jeremy Clarkson squeezing his chins into a open neck shirt and linen jacket is enough to quell the hardest horn.
But the final word on the horn must go to the genius of Peter Cook & Dudley Moore, who did the best sketch on the horn as their Alter Ego's Derek & Clive. I love this sketch so much and hope you do too. Enjoy xxx
http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&hl=en-GB&v=RPcDREaxsu8
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