Day 264 - Weds 3rd October - Self obsession & Jimmy Saville

Awake at 7.30am, I've got into the terrible habit of immediately checking my phone for messages/emails/tweets/texts and emails. This was the first thing i read. A comment at 2.26am about Sundays blog entitled 'Triple Cooked Chips'.

"Somehow you managed to bring an erection into a discussion about food! Please could you at least go one day on your occasionally entertaining blog without mentioning your cock, masturbation, having a shit, porn, porn shops, playing with yourself, semen, shitting yourself, farting, your physique, your biceps, did I say wanking? No wonder you haven't got a girlfriend!....Now then, when are you going to start doing a bit of volunteer work with the elderly? It might take you away from your self obsession. Sorry, I had to get that off my chest. Your writing is getting better."

My god. Quite a shock at 7.26am i must admit. What a comment. Incredible. Firstly i was pleased to get such an in depth comment. It means people are actually reading it and if they felt moved sufficiently either through anger or identification to write then I'm very grateful people actual find the time to do these things.

Secondly i was mortified. Not so much by being accused of being crass, gross, self obsessed and selfish. I know I'm all those things. It's a bit like accusing me of having eyes or blinking. Standard.

What really got me was the term 'occasionally entertaining blog'. It was Like a dagger through my heart. That in itself was scathing. Occasionally entertaining? Is that 1 blog every 2 weeks is entertaining? The rest of it mundane and dull with the occasional interesting piece. I need a blogometer on the site to give me the daily Stats. 'Like' just doesnt say enough and come on can you really be arsed to comment most days? Me neither.

It's like being told you're 'quite good looking' or when you really fancy someone only for them to tell you you're 'quite nice' or when a lover says 'you're quite good in bed'. It effectively means your average. Your beige. You are Ford Mondeo. You're not very good but we tolerate you. You are Eamon Holmes.

Occasionally entertaining is slow death by dullness. My biggest fear. Mundane.

And what of self obsession? Well naval gazing is an ugly trait in men and indeed human beings. Being a selfish self obsessed vain individual is a gross turn off for most women. Most of my pals are married with kids and have no time for self obsession. They are simply too busy.

Me? well i have plenty of time for it. I'm one of me favourite hobbies, If i was on Mastermind my chosen subject would be me. It's just a side effect of alcoholism. I do try not to be so self absorbed. Although i write this as a personal diary. It's Like a stream of consciousness but i try to be as accurate as possible about how i feel and what is going on in my head, sometimes i do over egg things and play a persona and of course place my tongue firmly in my cheek. It is meant with a touch of humour and self deprecation. But this blog was always intended to be a daily rambling of my weird mind.

Having said all that writing about a comment on my blog about me is truly self obsessed so before i disappear up my own sphincter (sorry i put an arse reference in) i better stop.

I applaud the comment. It is true and it's quite right i should do some voluntary work. i will look into it  tomorrow. I'll try to find an elderly person to help out. Besides i may get on their will then my future will be sorted. (joking) I suspect the comment is from a female. Not only because the word 'erection; is used but girls Usually get pissed off with how base men are. We're either fiddling with our cocks or thinking about sex. My error is in making it public every day. The inner workings of my mind will not put me down for the Pulitzer Prize but at least I'm not Jimmy Saville. How's about that then?

What is surprising about that story is that anyone is surprised. This is a man who was a 'bachelor', did a Kids TV programme 'fixing up favours for young uns; called his mother 'The Duchess', ponced around in a selection of baco foil outfits in the 70's and a shell suit from there on. He had a comb over (sign enough of a sex offender for me) and admitted to being attracted to young girls in a TV interview. Errrr never saw that one coming did we?

 

Would you really let your daughter sit on this mans lap? 'Uncle Jim' Creepy

There is nothing wrong with feeling up 14 year old girls. As long as you're 14 yourself. Why did all the women wait until he was dead though to come forward? I guess that's none of our business, trouble is there is no way of finding out the truth. He even fixed it from the Grave that he can't be prosecuted. Hows about that then?

Besides he's a c**t. I've always thought so since i didn't get a reply from Jim'll Fix it to have a penalty shoot out v Peter Shilton at Wembley when i was 12. Obviously he only accepted answers from young girls the dirty bastard (apparently)

That Maths teacher must be pleased the heats been taken off him though by Jimmy. Although He can't have been much of a maths teacher . His long division was shit. Everyone knows 32 just doesn't go into 15. You just can't do it. If you did the sum. you will see;

32 Year old Maths Teacher + 15 year old pupil x runaway to France =Paedophile (8 year stretch)

Keep the comments coming, thanks for saying my writings getting better and i will make a concerted effort to keep it cleaner and not be so one dimensional in my writing and entries. Although i'm so childish the word 'entries' just makes me want to snigger and play with my cock. Dam. There i just said it. It's like tourettes. I managed a whole blog without a reference to my nuptials and then i just blurt it out at the end. Nuts. Must do better Nicholas



xx