Day 283 - Mon 22nd Oct - Bikram Yoga and Double Cardigans

Hello Bloggers, thank you for reading.


It seems this little blog has had an increase in readership since I posted, 'The day i was barred from Bikram Yoga' on Saturday. It shot straight to the top of my most read blogs for the year with 230 reads. Not bad seeing as my daily average is around the 50 mark. Clearly there are lots of frustrated Bikram Yogies out there, though I'm yet to hear of anyone else who has been ejected from a class.

If you thought it didn't go deep enough, don't worry there will be a sequel on the subject. There is an awful lot more to cover including the ultimate irony of me being picked to play a Yoga teacher in an international TV advert for Tesco mobile. I hope the studio owner saw that and spat out his coconut water in disgust.

I have to admit it's given me a bit of a boost seeing more people reading the blog. Even my rant on Grand Designs and the nouvea rich got 180 views. It occur ed to me the same people I got pissed off with on Grand Designs go to Farmers Markets (If you're reading this abroad a Farmers Market is the British version of Middle class hell. Even the Pork Pies are cased in corduroy.) and I've already done a whole angry blog on those.

I had a few good comments today such as, 'keep writing', 'I enjoy it' and 'well written'. Which give me the spirit to keep going, though also adds pressure to me to make it interesting every day.

The best comment today and one which makes it all worth it was someone saying they sent the blog to a friend and it has spurred them to attend AA and try to do something about their drinking. Result. If it can help 1 person then it's a success. Obviously not a success in terms of what i want (500,000 readers and writing deal with a magazine and a book deal) But a success in terms of what God wants. I usually find my wants are ridiculous and my needs (what God gives me) are better for the soul.

If a guy stops drinking and it helps him not live a life of misery and alcoholic drama then not only will it help him but everyone in his life. Not to mention Police, courts, hospitals and such like. Rough cost of the effects of alcohol abuse to the tax payer is around £5 per person in the UK (60 million people) so that gives you an idea as to the actual scale of the problem.

It's pretty humbling to hear that this little daily musings of my mind can help someone take the plunge into seeking help for their drinking. I hope he makes it and succeeds.

Of course the Government don't really want to do anything about the massive alcohol problem in the UK for many reasons;

1 - Their parties are mostly funded by donations from large drinks companies

2 - The tax and duty generated off alcohol is vast

3 - They are only really interested in popularity not change.

4 - It's better for them to be seen as punishes of alcohol abuse than actually arrest the problem with treatment and education. Treatment of it as a disease is seen as weak.

5 - They have a subsidised bar in the Houses of Parliament

6 - They are all corrupt bastards

Still it was good of the Government to help set up a panel to police the drinks industry. Who is on the panel? Oh yes that's right, the drinks industry. Weird isn't it? A independent body to regulate the drinks industry consisting of...the drinks industry. That's rather like putting Jordan in charge of a Fake Tits panel. Wrong on many levels.

What i love about the drinks industry is their 2 big ideas to help with the drinking problem in this country. 1 - Put 'Drink Responsibly' on the bottles or adverts of any alcoholic drink. Are they taking piss? Like that is going to help? How can putting 'drink responsibly' on the bottom of a bottle of vodka or can of Special Brew have any effect. If you're draining those your sole desire  is to drink irresponsibly and head to oblivion. In fact you can't even read at that point. They could print the cure for cancer on the bottle and you would miss it. Pointless.

The other big plan? Raise the price of strong alcoholic drinks to put people off drinking. Ah OK they are effectively taxing alcoholics then. The very people who need the most help they are punishing. A small minority of people who have an alcohol problem who drink the strongest alcohol are being targeted. it makes me sick. it won't stop anyone drinking, just make crime increase. They couldn't have missed the point any more. They really are that stupid in this country. Makes me boil.

I'm off to Gibraltar early in the morning for 2 days of work. So it will be difficult to write the blog Gutted. I actually have to do something. The cheek of it. Can't they just send me the cheque in the post or better still just BACS me the payment so i don't have to move? #Lazy.

Today's highlights?

1 -Guy seeking help for his drinking after reading my blog

2 - Booking a weekend break in a static caravan in Saundersfoot, South Wales with my 2 oldest mates who have been given the weekend off duties from their wives and kids. 2 Non drinking recovering alkies and 1 depressive. Can't wait. It will be like a working class men's retreat for burnt out 40 year old men. Sitting around in a caravan in pants eating scotch eggs and getting crumbs all over your chest whilst harking back to youthful better days by watching repeats of the Embassy Snooker final from 1987. It's an old school men's retreat. Welsh style

3 - Wearing 2 cardigans at the same time. A normal one and then a large winter one over the top. Yes it has come to that stage of my life where I'm now a double cardigan kind of guy.

4 - Learnt to live and let live and let people be themselves instead of forcing them to be what i want them to be.

I'm not massively keen on today's blog. I reckon it's 54% good. Still, it's late and it will have to do. I'm not really sure how to end it either. Usually I like to end on a funny note but it's so late (2am Tues morning) that I feel about as funny as David Walliams. I'm going to have to end it like this. Which feels a little underwhelming. Like premature ejaculation. I got myself all excited about writing today only to leave it so late i just churned it out and aborted early. I effectively shot my load far too early and am now left feeling a little dejected. You also feel a little dirty and used don't you. Expecting more? Disappointed? I don't blame you readers. Nothing worse than a lame blog is there? Still have no fear I'll treat you to a blog equivalent of a candle lit dinner, soft music and relaxing massage and i promise next time I'll stay longer and make you more satisfied.

I've obviously lost it there and ended on a creepy note. but readers. Don't forget. Drink Responsibly.

xx