The only other thing i did of note, was go to the Polsih hairdressers in Barnes and get my barnet blonded and cut. Shamefully i asked for a 'Beckham'. I know, that makes me officially sad, but easier with the undoubted language barrier. Still it's cheap and she seems to know how to hold scissors, so all good in my book.
I was there for nearly 3 hours, reading, watching, listening and found it fascinating watching a series of middle aged dads come in for their Saturday morning trim. Nearly all of them were specific in their requirements. Grade 3 at side, a little long on top and square at the back. Even though nearly all of them were almost bald.
I was impressed with their focus and organisation of exactly the haircut required. Function able and practical. And i was also struck how much we are creatures of habit. In the week that Vidal Sasson died, crediting hairdressing as an art form and creating an Iconic cut in the 60's. The haircuts being done today were about as iconic as a Ford Mondeo. It was suburban hairdressing at it's finest.
The estate hatchback of hairdressing. function able, practical and easy. Keep it tidy, keep it safe, keep it away from the v-neck. Hoxton finns were conspicuous in their absence.
Apart from one poor guy, clearly he was struggling. He had 3 boys with him, all climbing, screaming, running around like ADHD kids on amphetamine and sugar. He had 4 bags of shopping and a dog tied up outside. He had bigger crease lines than Gordon Ramsay and The San Antonio Fault put together. Clearly personal appearance and image were the last of this poor Guy's problems.
When asked for what he wanted, he said in a very bold and dynamic way, 'Not too short but not too long'. Which in my eyes is really a nothing instruction. 'Medium', 'average'. It's not one thing or another is it really? Neither taking the bold step to go Brice Willis, ultra short and hard or go down the James May route of long and shaggy, Instead he went for 'not too long or not too short'.
I thought long and hard about this and decided that particular haircut must be the most popular the world over, particularly for middle aged stressed out dads who lost the pride, interest and care in their appearance long ago. If it is so popular then surely it deserves a name, a brand and identity.
There was the afro, the perm, the 'waddle and hoddle' (long at back short on top), the mohawk, the hoxton finn, the classic mullet, the Aniston, the teddy boy quiff, the Rod Stewart. And then of course the one truly unique haircut in the world. The 'Trump'. Donald Trump's hair which should be in a museum. A sort of birds nest comb over (or 'Charlton') wirey quiff combination. Truly unique in it's delivery and appearance.
I have yet to witness anyone walking into a hairdressers and asking for a 'trump'. Clearly if they did then the hairdressers would be straight on speed dial to the Maudsley Psychiatric hospital. Anyone asking for that is clearly mentally ill.
And so to the haircuts i witnessed today. A series of average bland nothing style haircuts. that i suggested to the owner he should christen the 'Clegg'.
Middle aged, anonymous, safe, secure and easy to maintain for stressed out dads the world over. It couldn't be 'The Cameron' as that's too foppish and Eton. But The Clegg says "I'm a Dad, I'm normal. I'm busy, I'm responsible, I'm in control, I'm employed, I'm OK, I'm bored, I'm desperate for dirty sex before i get too old as I'm bored with my wife and i have too much responsibility and i just want some dirty scrubber to finger my arsehole now and again, but I'm OK, I'm safe, I'm corduroy."
Not sure if the owner is going for the 'Clegg'. But i think it's a winner.
News from TOWIL. Saturday is a day for shopping in the day of course, and the image of the day sent in by my Mother
Such is the demand for mobility scooters and with the country in double dip recession a genius idea from Pughs. But a bed and get a free mobility scooter. Perfect. They will have them literally queuing down the road, (obviously in the slow lane) as an offer.
Trouble is though, if they haven't already got a mobility scooter, how will they get into town to see the offer? and if they have a scooter, don't they need one of those electric beds too that lift you up?
Truth is most of the people in the town don't actually need a scooter. They are only doing it to remain on the sick, DLA. Disability Living Allowance is seen as a long term career in Lanelli. Having said that if you've lived a life on pasties since you were 2 years old you need a scooter just to get down to Jenkins the Bakers every day.
TOWIL folks
Don't you just love it!
x
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