Is it me or is there a vague hint of depression on Bank Holidays?
Should there be a National Anthem blues number played on a loop all day. Either that or declare it a 'Radiohead' day on tellie. There is something in the air on Bank holidays that is slightly melancholy i think. A vague smell of depression. You remember like old school Sunday's when nothing was open and the day just seemed to drag?
Bank holidays feel like that. There are always Gaggles of people wandering around craft fairs or DIY shops or Garden centres looking utterly bored and dead from the neck up. Or they are at home gardening or arguing because they can't garden because of the rain. Or people are doing DIY, Or at 'May Day Fairs', spending fortunes on small bags to hurl at a coconut in order to knock it off and receive a small cuddly one eyed gnome as a prize for their utter masculinity. Either that or you can spend all day in the pub drinking heavily.
It's Just typical British Life really. Like a Sunday on steroids and of course it always rains. It is almost a given that it will piss down for most of the day. You refuse to let it dampen your spirits, but Bank Holiday rain is like tequila to the rest of the year's shandy rain. It's that much stronger, hurts more and seeps into your soul a little and just makes you feel just ever so slightly suicidal. You carry on of course, but it's a little like trying to make a sexual anorexic cum. Impossible.
Britain seems to have more bank holidays than other countries. According to reports it costs the economy over £2billion a year in lost work. However it more than makes up for that in hanging baskets, sheds, all day drinking and the dodgems. Robbing Peter to pay Paul springs to mind.
Today's Bank holiday was no different. After a beautiful bright start giving everyone a false hope, it deemed the hope had extinguished by 11am and totally fucked it down for the rest of the day. I didn't mind though, as save for a couple of hours at the gym i spent the entire day inside. Juggling World Championship snooker, Blog writing, Facebook cruising, Asian Haven 6 through to 9, Air Crash Investigate and staring at a comedy book willing jokes to come that never did. I'd have more luck making a sexual ano......oh hang on I've done that gag. See even i am losing the will to live on this Bank Holiday.
So, there we have it readers. The Great British Bank Holiday. And the most depressing thing of all? Everything i wrote is a cliche. The Monday night is like the worst Sunday as it's work tomorrow, Like Sunday night on Crack. Unless of course you're a member of the Llanelli parish, as you're work tomorrow will be to keep the sick note going at the docs to maintain the Disability Living Allowance, or DLA as it's called in those parts. That in Llanelli is seen as a steady career.
Hope you had a good one readers, and just to maintain the cliche. Everyone will be saying tomorrow how nice a weekend they had, how nice it was to have an extra day, how this week is only a short one with 4 days and how they can't wait until next month when we have, yes wait for it....A DOUBLE Bank holiday. Monday and Tuesday, on the account of the Diamond Jubilee. Nice one Queenie, thanks for that. Double shift of misery at the Garden Centre now. Kill me now.
Stationary tomorrow readers. I wonder what gram of paper will do the job on the throat with a heavy paper cut?
Will report more
Big love
Me
x
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