Stayed up until 4am last night after being totally wired from comedy and diet coke and fags. It was light outside and the birds were far too chirpy. I knew it wasn't a good idea with the alarm set at 7 to go to work, but i just couldn't sleep.
It reminded me of the old days, when you got to 3 or 4 am, dawn approached, you were on the wrong end of a long session and you got the massive euphoria of an all nighter. May as well keep going now. Little point in sleep. Felt such a good idea at the time, but oh so wrong at midday. Trying to convince people at work you were OK, whilst looking like Keith Richards' drug dealer.
Your Eyes are shot, you smell like a brewery on a farm, you laugh loudly at inappropriate occasions. Feeling you were OK when in the presence of other people on the session equally as fucked as you. But parachuted into a normal, 'straight' environment, like an office or train. My god you stick out more than John Travolta in a hot oil massage.
The effects of the 3 hour kip? Productivity is low. Hard to concentrate on anything other than high fat starchy carbohydrates, the ability to communicate is affected (you feel you are on some kind of long distance satellite link as your conversations are just a little off), and for some reason every computer, queue, train and red light takes so fucking long. I have about as much patients as Harold Shipmans' surgery.
Today was all about topping up massive caffeine and nicotine intake to hold me together. I swear i'll be pissing diet coke by the end of the day.
News from TOWIL today? Nan was up a few times in the night, Uncle Ken still hasn't finished the Great British Mustard paint off, Barry Lewis was DJ ing at the British Legion last night, opening up for the Llangenneth Gardening Society annual do, with ' Rock DJ' and Brother Mark sent a picture of the classic Llanelli Welsh Breakfast.
Now breakfast is a hugely important part of the day in Llanelli. It is not only talked about a day in advance. It is also seen as something that should ideally be cooked.
A Grapefruit, Corn flakes, porridge or fruit can be tolerated as long as it is accompanied by toast, preferably with marmalade or jam. But really this is not ideal, nor recommended. The only breakfast that is given respect in Llanelli is indeed the cooked Welsh Breakfast. Muesli is for girls, Pain au chocolat is for 'them Londoners' and skinny lattes just do not exist in Llanelli
Obviously the cooked breakfast has to include local produce. It can be varied depending on personal choice of course, but it should always have the basis of eggs, meat, toast and tea.The only thing that has changed in modern times in an attempt to get healthy is that chips are no longer part of this holy grail of basic ingredients.
Brother Mark Prepared the classic Welsh Breaky
7 local Darkins ladyboy penis sausages
2 Felinfoel faggot (Bi sexual not gay)
3 egg Welsh Mature Cheese Omelet
No chips
Ideally the breakfast should be consumed with around 4-6 rounds of toast and approximately 9 litres of tea. Timing is crucial, as too early is just not right and too late will infringe on Lunch (or dinner time as they call it in Llanelli).
Therefore the optimum breakfast time is 10am. 2 hours before a massive lunch and enough time to wake up, drink 3 litres of tea in preparation and then sit and wait for the breakfast to be prepared.
Exercise should not be taken pre or post breakfast, Though washing the pots to clear away room for lunch to be made can burn off up to 20 calories. Or equivalent to a bite of a Darkin Ladyboy sausage.
There is barely time to digest breakfast or read the paper before you are then required to eat again. This time a full cooked lunch. There really is no rest for wicked Or the clinically obese. It is literally a mouthful.
TOWIL eating habits. I wonder why there is an obesity problem in the town.
xx
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