Awake after 4 hours sleep feeling decidedly knackered.
Always the same after I do it a bit of MCing work. Don’t know why I always do
it, especially as I turn into Klaus Goebbels when tired and under slept. Hang on to your hats world
I overheard a story on breakfast TV that people who sleep
under 5 hours a night are more prone to Obesity. Uncanny that, seeing as I woke
with a voracious hunger and breakfasted on 6 tunnocks tea cakes. There may be
something in that scientific study, though I could have told them that.
However I think I’ll forego the 4 MacDonald’s Sausage and
Egg Mc Muffins and 3 Mc Big Mc Breakfasts though. That will definitely make me
McFat, and we don’t mcwant mcthat do we McNick?
I walked out the door at 8am to get the train to work, and
was immediately met by an angry Scottish female neighbor. She was livid;
apparently I had parked in the wrong parking space last night. She carefully
told me the allocated spaces in a way that a parent speaks to a 4 year old; when
I pointed out to her there was no need to talk to me like I was 4. She replied,
“Well maybe if you parked in the right space I wouldn’t have to talked to you
like a child.”
I considered my 11
years in AA, the maxim to become reasonable, to not be quick to anger, the
belief in God and a spiritual path, the fact that anger is a luxury that
alcoholics cannot afford. The possibility that others may be right, the attempt
to be loving and kind to all man and woman kind.
I considered all of this in a flash of a nanosecond, and
then I a felt no-one talks to me like I’m a child and replied, “Fuck off” with
the finger out and pointing at her and walked off.
I got to the station and felt dreadful. It was unnecessary
and I know I’m in trouble when the pointed finger comes out. I don’t think the
anger just flashes out of me. I told the coffee barista and he said I should apologize.
He is effectively my God in the morning, a family man and a voice of reason. I
will make amends later. Bad me. Even though she’s a busy body of a neighbor and
needs to take a chill pill over parking spaces. Clearly my life has taken on a
new turn of the banal inconsequential becoming problems, fights over
stationary, car parking spaces and 5 items or less.
Is it the world, or is it me? I can only think if it keeps
happening to me it can only be me. I’m like a banal persecuted Terminator.
Seeking to right all the little pointless wrongs in the world.
Putting 8 items in your basket? It’s an express till sucker,
BOOM. Standing on the left on a tube Escalator? DIE CHUMP. Driving in the
middle lane slowly – KERPOW.
I need in essence to get a fucking grip, chill out and stop
being on collision course with everyone.
Rest of the day passed in a cloak of dullness. It was like
Terry Griffiths v Cliff Thorbun in 1982. Grinding.
I moved back into my old gaff in Isleworth and finally
unpacked. Back to solo living for me, which I’m not sure is a good or bad
thing.
But today was so dull, the best thing that happened, was putting
new sheets on the bed. First time I’ve had to do that for myself in ages, and
weirdly it always made me feel better. Empowered.
Oh god Does that make me officially sad?
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