Saturday, February 11, 2012

Day 41 - Saturday 11th February - OH NO!

MILEAGE - 6; TIME - 52 MINUTES; CONDITIONS - BEAUTIFUL - WEEKLY MILEAGE - 10

And it was all going sooooooo well. Woke up to a beautiful stunning sunny morning by the Thames. Clear as a bell, not a cloud in the sky, bright sunshine and freezing cold. Perfect morning to get back outside and recommit to le Marathon.

After a good hour of indecision,  Early morning meeting? Yoga then run? Gym? Run inside? Outside? Run then meeting? I finally decided to get out in the cold and run. Jesus being me is exhausting sometimes. Does it really matter which order? It's like a mental OCD thing.

Strapped on the leggings, compression tops, hats, gloves and new trainers. Did a stretch and off i went. Aimed to run for 50 minutes up the embankment by the Thames to MI5 building and back (staying in Chelsea Harbour at moment)

I started gently and took it easy. Settled into a nice rthymn, passed lots of fellow runners and felt really good. Strong, pretty energetic. Left hip and hamstring sore and stiff but that's standard. Yes, i was back!

And then........disaster. Pain started in the shin again after 35 minutes. I carried on for a bit until 45 minutes i stopped and walked. Big pain in same place. Slowly jogged home to notch up the 6 miles, but the injury was back.

Iced it and stretched and whilst it hurt, it wasn't too inflamed and it didn't squeak. I thought I'd got away with it. Just a little more rest.

Off i went to Bikram Yoga for a mighty stretch and then nipped into Soho for some new snakeskin boots and a cock ring (i lied about the last one) Got the wicked boots and walked back with them, but leg hurt like buggery so on went the old footwear and i got back at 4pm, ready to collapse on sofa and watch Italy v England.

It was worse. Full creaky tendonitis thing, inflamed and painful. It was exactly the same as before. I am gutted. Devastated. It's going to be another 3 weeks at least. I can't see any training and i am back to square one.

I iced, elevated it, compressed it and watched England v Itlia whilst drowning my sorrows by relapsing on diet coke and multiple snouts. The nearest i got to healthy living was the frozen peas on my shin..................

So really to cut the case. FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!
Did i do too much? Should i have capped all running at 3 miles? Did i not stretch enough? Are my running days over? Is it the problem with my hip? I'm going to have to run long at some point. When will it be better? Can i run the marathon? Am i going to be able to train? Why am i asking so many questions? What is the world record of questions in one sentence?

In short, who knows to any of it. I'm going to have to really eat clean, keep off the caffeine and sweetener, rehab hard, stretch loads in yoga and maybe as someone suggested today try running in a pool. Work my ass off to make sure I'm right and in good shape mentally and physically.

I certainly feel better than 2 weeks ago after the caffeine/sweetener thing. Head is better, so clearly that is my goal., If i can retain my sense of humour, positivity and attitude in the next 2-4 weeks, however long before i am 100% fit to train then i reckon this journey will have been very worthwhile.

As they say, don't get too wrapped up in the time, in the end part, it's about the journey to get there. Even if i don't achieve 3hours 30, maybe this Marathon will be the one where i learn the most about myself.

How can i get too depressed about tendonitis when there are people out there who have permanent disability and misfortune. I am lucky, as i said in my prayers this morning. I am one of the fortunate ones.

Yes i have an alcoholic head that is tough to live with sometimes. demons, self hatred and destruction are never far away. Yes i get hugely resentful, am quick to temper and feel a little unfulfilled with my professional life and income. Yes i can't commit to a long term meaningful relationship and yes i live in large doses of fear for too much of my life.

But i am lucky. This injury will heal. I will run the marathon eventually and i will learn new things about myself. I don't know why i feel like this today but it's reality isn't it? There are many poor bastards out there who would kill to be in my position, so man up Evans and go with the flow.

Booked an Osteopath session early doors tomorrow. The running will have to wait, as will the new snakeskin cowboy boots even though they are well lush. As my Nan says, 'Nobody likes a moaner' - I may just take heed of that wise old 96 year old for once in my life.

Enjoy the weekend peeps and here's to Wales turning over the sweatys tomorrow

xx

2 comments: