Awake at 6.50am, head groggy, feeling fatigued, i have a sort of candida syndrome apparently, which is a build up of bacteria and adrenal system problem, based on years of living entirely on stimulants. It is effectively the same as a hangover, which is a bit of a blow seeing as i haven't had a drink for 10 years. Gutter!
It makes you feel you haven't slept well, chronic fatigue, killer gas, dry mouth, craving sugar and crappy foods, massive intolerance and unable to concentrate or focus. In essence perfect physical conditioning for marathon training. Feels like one of the dudes running the marathon with a fridge on your back.
So, up i got, head was ultra negative and focusing purely on the problem. I thought of going for a run, but managed to bugger around for 90 minutes. 3 cups of tea, 2 apples, 4 silk cut, 1 satsuma, 1/2 litre of water, checked emails, researched colonic irrigation to shift candida when really what i need to do is stop diet coke, sweeteners, sugar and crappy foods, made a list of things to do today and generally avoided doing what i needed to do. The ideal Training preparation!
Finally at 8.30 i got so sick of my procrastination, i strapped on the running kit, and out i went. The sun had come up. It was now a beautiful crisp morning and as soon as i started running i felt good. No music for me, just got into a rhythm of breathing, listening to my breath, concentrating on a solid running stride, listened to the beat of my feet landing and 'locked in' to a zone. It was great and after 25mins all thoughts of negativity, illness, fatigue, fear, worry, impending doom etc left me. I did the loop i did yesterday which is between 6-7 miles in 54mins, 2 Min's quicker than yesterday - and felt pretty decent throughout.
I thought of the book i read, where the author extolled the virtues of running every day as a solution to 'rebooting' his mind and setting himself up for the day. I understood now what he meant as sometimes my running has been just to tick off the list. I would recommend people read the book, it's more about philosophy than running and i found it very interesting - http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Talk-About-When-Running/dp/1846552206
This morning was different and a real attitude changer. My god, is this the answer? Is running every day, planning, preparing and actually doing it the way to control the beast of the negative mind?
Some people do mediation, some pray, some don't need to do anything and have a sunny side naturally. I guess it's just about finding out what works for you and committing to it. That's the classic January thing isn't it? committing to something and staying committed. So many of us make the new year resolutions. stop this, cut down on that, join gym, get fit. diet, new job etc etc. I know from personal experience i am world class at starting things and not seeing them through. I suppose that is the challenge here, and trying to carry that into other areas of life.
In that respect this morning was a great lesson and success, as the running turned my head around.
The true test will be tomorrow when i go back to work in the office in the city, which will mean very early rises and early runs in the dark. I'm not a fan of this as i love the light. I have huge admiration for people who are out an about when pitch dark early or late., unless of course they are traffic wardens.
A last thing. Someone asked me, do you think you run because you're running away from responsibility as you have done throughout your life? My response, "I'll get back to you on that, I'm off"
Until tomorrow lovely people
Nicholas Edward Evans
Not just meditation but a time for the mind to clear and creativity and innovation kick in! Normal life suppresses this mode in my opiinion!
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