Mileage 0 - 4 Injury
OK cards on the table people and time for brutal honesty - if I'm serious about this training programme and blog changing my attitude, my habits then today is a crucial.
Firstly - Monday bloody Monday. Today was One of those days when all my planets were aligned with a bucket of poo. Low energy, feeling blue and if I'm honest thank god I'm injured as i would really struggle to run today. Candida is poisoning me and causing me terrible problems. It makes me so fucking gloomy and ill.
So what is it? and why am i so affected by it? Candida is basically a build up of bad bacteria that when severe gets into your bloodstream is disabling. I've bored you shit less with the symptoms before, but today i am polluted and totally dog tired.
head is fuzzy, low concentration and feel like I'm going through the motions, viewing the world through a window. So tired, all i want to do is get home, shut the door and lay down. Not exactly marathon man training god is it?
So why is it so bad all the time? Well this is going to shock you but it's my fault. Totally my fault. Why? I'm addicted to diet coke, stimulants, sugar, caffeine. This all feeds the candida and leaves me chasing circles. Why don't i just stop it? Just give up? It's not that hard surely?
Well maybe not but I've been living off this as 80% of my diet for the past 10 years. Since i quit drinking. I live my life on stimulants. I know it's terrible for me, i know it's so bad but I've been compulsively doing this stuff for so long it's second nature and in my head all the time.
Meal replacements, habit, busy head, addicted, call it what you want. Fact is, there is hardly a day in the past few years where i haven't stuffed 4 bottles of diet coke, 10 cups of tea with sweetener, 4 packs of chewing gum and 25 cigs down my neck. Jesus even writing that is embarrassing.
I look like i have the body of a god sometimes, ripped, fit, muscly. Most people would think healthy, but underneath the bonnet it's not healthy. How can it be if i put that shit in my body? What is the use of having a good outside if the inside is carnage? Maybe it's time to even these things up.
If training is part mileage and discipline and physically hard work. How much is nutrition. This surely plays as much a part as anything else. Would you put shit into a Ferrari? (Not saying I'm a classic car but you get my drift) - So why do i do it to myself?
Bloody good question? Reason? I'm a sodding addict. It can be anything. food, drink, sex, DVDs, ice cream, music, porn. You give me something and I'll OD on it until i can take no more. I like excess. My head just says 'More, More, More' Despite it doing me no good. And that is the addicts peculiar way. There is no logic. No rhyme or reason. No explanation. Until you have enough.
Self destruction? maybe - there's certainly a massive part of that in me. I don't seem to have that logical button that says 'enough'. I will take stuff until it claps me out and i think I've reached that point today.
So, i have decided. Enough. It;s time to stop the sugar, caffeine, massive diet coke, endless cups of tea, sweeteners, sugar binges.
From today i am quitting. Oh Jesus it;s going to be messy. I am reliant and so used to it. shit - I'm going to have to change. And i f****g hate change. It involves doing something. I think the cold turkey is going to be savage. I'm going to have to keep smoking through it though. If i stop that i reckon there maybe a spree killing on two. One thing at a time.
But that is what I'm going to have to do. If I'm going to spout on about positive action i have to do it. If i want to run a decent marathon i need to make myself physically better to put in the effort.
If I'm going to train people. i can't be a fraud.
Hold tight people it could get messy. I have a temper. I am an addict and I'm about to have something taken away from me that i crave and want. Now, where are those toys, i need to collect them as I'm sure they'll be thrown out of my pram at some stage soon
wish me luck people, it needs to be done
NE
OK cards on the table people and time for brutal honesty - if I'm serious about this training programme and blog changing my attitude, my habits then today is a crucial.
Firstly - Monday bloody Monday. Today was One of those days when all my planets were aligned with a bucket of poo. Low energy, feeling blue and if I'm honest thank god I'm injured as i would really struggle to run today. Candida is poisoning me and causing me terrible problems. It makes me so fucking gloomy and ill.
So what is it? and why am i so affected by it? Candida is basically a build up of bad bacteria that when severe gets into your bloodstream is disabling. I've bored you shit less with the symptoms before, but today i am polluted and totally dog tired.
head is fuzzy, low concentration and feel like I'm going through the motions, viewing the world through a window. So tired, all i want to do is get home, shut the door and lay down. Not exactly marathon man training god is it?
So why is it so bad all the time? Well this is going to shock you but it's my fault. Totally my fault. Why? I'm addicted to diet coke, stimulants, sugar, caffeine. This all feeds the candida and leaves me chasing circles. Why don't i just stop it? Just give up? It's not that hard surely?
Well maybe not but I've been living off this as 80% of my diet for the past 10 years. Since i quit drinking. I live my life on stimulants. I know it's terrible for me, i know it's so bad but I've been compulsively doing this stuff for so long it's second nature and in my head all the time.
Meal replacements, habit, busy head, addicted, call it what you want. Fact is, there is hardly a day in the past few years where i haven't stuffed 4 bottles of diet coke, 10 cups of tea with sweetener, 4 packs of chewing gum and 25 cigs down my neck. Jesus even writing that is embarrassing.
I look like i have the body of a god sometimes, ripped, fit, muscly. Most people would think healthy, but underneath the bonnet it's not healthy. How can it be if i put that shit in my body? What is the use of having a good outside if the inside is carnage? Maybe it's time to even these things up.
If training is part mileage and discipline and physically hard work. How much is nutrition. This surely plays as much a part as anything else. Would you put shit into a Ferrari? (Not saying I'm a classic car but you get my drift) - So why do i do it to myself?
Bloody good question? Reason? I'm a sodding addict. It can be anything. food, drink, sex, DVDs, ice cream, music, porn. You give me something and I'll OD on it until i can take no more. I like excess. My head just says 'More, More, More' Despite it doing me no good. And that is the addicts peculiar way. There is no logic. No rhyme or reason. No explanation. Until you have enough.
Self destruction? maybe - there's certainly a massive part of that in me. I don't seem to have that logical button that says 'enough'. I will take stuff until it claps me out and i think I've reached that point today.
So, i have decided. Enough. It;s time to stop the sugar, caffeine, massive diet coke, endless cups of tea, sweeteners, sugar binges.
From today i am quitting. Oh Jesus it;s going to be messy. I am reliant and so used to it. shit - I'm going to have to change. And i f****g hate change. It involves doing something. I think the cold turkey is going to be savage. I'm going to have to keep smoking through it though. If i stop that i reckon there maybe a spree killing on two. One thing at a time.
But that is what I'm going to have to do. If I'm going to spout on about positive action i have to do it. If i want to run a decent marathon i need to make myself physically better to put in the effort.
If I'm going to train people. i can't be a fraud.
Hold tight people it could get messy. I have a temper. I am an addict and I'm about to have something taken away from me that i crave and want. Now, where are those toys, i need to collect them as I'm sure they'll be thrown out of my pram at some stage soon
wish me luck people, it needs to be done
NE
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