Can you believe it? This weekend my girlfriend had the temerity to call me 'a know it all'!! "A know it all?" Yes, she replied, "A know it all!"
My reply to her? "I know I am."
It's hard being a know it all. Know it all ism is an affliction I've had to endure all my life. It's exhausting knowing everything. Yes it may piss people off and cause revulsion and distaste but think of the isolation us know it all's face every day.
It takes an awful lot of energy not to give advice, to keep your trap shut and not point out to people what they should be doing. A know it all has constant commentary in their head and the effort it takes to keep it there is colossal. It's exhausting.
The people you see walking around this earth talking to themselves are classic know it alls. They've just taken the insanity it a bit further than the rest of us. My father would talk to himself, having imaginary arguments with his bosses and it would nearly always end with the phrase, 'you fucking wankers'. He was a know it all. Arrogance is a family trait.
Of course a good know it all will express opinions and thoughts without accumulating the necessary experience first. I'm never short of an opinion or solution to a problem on parenting (never had kids), marriage guidance (never been married) selling/buying property (never owned a house) long term relationships (longest is 3 years) women (I wont go there)
The sad truth for a know it all, is that we are frequently right, Most know it alls have a high level of intelligence and sensitivity. Trouble is when mixed with an alcoholic ego, we never see when we're wrong, display enough humility to wait to be asked for an opinion or wait to get the full facts in first.
It pisses people right off and then we get hurt when we're not listened to or you see people making the mistakes you predicted in the first place. A frustrating place to be.
Know it all ism is pure ego. Out of control ego mania. What else could it be? If you think you know best all the time there is little or no place for other people's opinions or facts. That is pure tunnel vision and us know it all's are masters of this annoying behaviour.
So, whilst it's a bit of a blow to be called a know it all, it's also helpful. After all we need to be pulled up somewhere along the lines. Then we need to put steps into place to try and change. If it means trying to practice patience, tolerance, love and understanding, then so be it. A know it all who doesn't want to learn then becomes a twat. There is no power in thinking your right all the time. Then you may as well become a politician.
All the great spiritual teachers and great men of our universe have practiced humility, open mindedness and love. How much is my ego out of control if I fail to take heed of such examples?
Meditation and prayer is an effective way of sating the ego beast and getting it down to a manageable size.
That to me is when I know I'm in my alcoholic ego. When it is roaring unchecked it is nearly always on a collision course with someone or something. The result is conflict of some kind and usually I invariably hurt either myself or others in some way.
It's all part of the learning process. I'm a slow learner but in my opinion it's no bad thing to own up to being an ego maniac. It's no bad thing to own up to know it allism. It's the ones who flatly deny it who are the real problems. They go for years undetected.
And it's not only the loud arrogant ones who display know it all ism. What about the people pleasers or the martyrs? Silently living in flat resentment or denial feeling they have been wronged or harmed against? Are those not living in their own know it all ism too. Unprepared to see another point of view or way of living?
There are so many layers to know it all ism/ego, I'm only beginning to scratch the surface. It's just so bloody exhausting knowing all this shit. Someday humility will kick in and I'll let it all go and just get on with my life and do my bit and let the big dog upstairs sort everyone else out. Apparently it's not my job, though sometimes that's news to me.
I've have worked out what I am though. Some days I'm an ego maniac with an inferiority complex others I'm an ego maniac with a superiority complex. It's just a flip of a coin. This means there's Plenty to work left to do on with this little alcoholic.
PS - I'm half man half chocolate today. I'm not sure what the world Easter Egg eating record is but I reckon I gave it a good go this weekend. I almost had to order Velcro fastening slip ons . I'm so full, good job I'm not a vein, self obsessed occasional body dysmorphia foodie isn't it?
Together We Are Stronger
Nicholas Evans
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