Mileage 7; Time 55 minutes; Weekly Mileage 7 miles
Finally felt OK enough to get out and notch up 7 miles, steady and felt great to get out and run. Now the taper is on, meaning mileage will come down, though it's not as if I've been overdoing it, but plan is to eat well, do shorter, quicker runs and bring the overall mileage down. No point in being spangled come marathon day.
Oh god have i turned into a marathon bore. I have been training for 12 weeks, averaging 40 miles a week, though i had 4 weeks off for injury. I have clocked up 500 miles. The equivalent of London to Orkney Isles. I have spent roughly 60 hours training, the equivalent of 120 episodes of Emmerdale and just as interesting sometimes. It's an investment in time and energy, though not a patch on all the time I've invested in ahem, nonspiritual pursuits in the past.
I've written every day for 94 days, 3 months, 12 weeks and posted approximately 100 links on Facebook and twitter with links to this blog. Result? Well 14 official followers on Google Plus, on average 4 likes per post and an occasional comment or two on Facebook. I'm not going to lie, i haven't actually taken the world by storm. Maybe I'll hit 20 followers by the end of the Marathon?
I know that people read it now and again. I also know that there is so much competition for information on Facebook, blogs and other areas, people's time is short. So to follow this blog every day is a bit of an ask.
My insecurity and need for outside affirmation wants to be fed constantly. Was it any good. Are you reading it? Do you like it? Those questions are never far away from my mind after a post. But that's OK. It's not that important.
My ego wants to be followed by 1000's of people, getting feedback like, oh i so identify with you, you're so great at writing, here's a cheque on an advance for a book can you write one, you know that kind of feedback. I'm realistic
I know you're supposed to do links, and encrypt keywords etc within a blog, be sophisticated in technological marketing etc to make an audience, build a following. But truth is I'm just not that good at it, and it requires so much effort. Oh fuck, i forgot I'm a marketing Manager. Ooops! Says it all really. Best keep that quiet or I'll be on the bins by end of the week.
So, what am i saying here? Well just that I'm settling on the fact i am not a marathon bore, I've tried to vary the posts. It;s not about the amount of followers, it's the quality and you my friends reading this are sen-fucking-sational. You are the true hardcore. The real quality ones. You are magnificent and I'd like you to put a little smile on your lips, wherever you are. Whether you be on the bus, in your pants, in Singapore or tied up naked with a tangerine in your mouth, and pat yourself on the back. (well all of you apart from those of you tied up or if you don't have any hands)
No matter who we are or where we are, we are all living our lives. All damaged or happy, all stressed or relaxed, all going through our own stuff. Some of us are married, happily, unhappily, have kids or not. Single, alone or with friends. Some of us are social some loners, some work hard and are focused and some of us are not. Basically we are all the same and all totally different at the same time, but sometimes we all need someone to say. 'You're ok'. Your a good person. You're doing well. We're all proud of you. Keep it up.We're in it together.
On marathon day you put your name on your vest and you get unconditional encouragement all the way round the course from half a million strangers. It is overwhelming. I used to look at it on TV with total cynicism and hatred. scorning the flowery music and the crying runners and think what a load of shit, it's only a fucking run!
But having done it, i understand it. I get it. The love and support is superb. It's a coming together of humanity. The hardest looking blokes covered in tattoos massed outside roughhouse pubs in Rotherithe drinking Super T and looking like they would spit you out for breakfast, look you in the eye and scream encouragement. It's fucking ace. Class and barriers don't exist. Social demographics are melted. It's the total opposite of the riots. London is like one big AA meeting. There is love and support for fellow mankind and it's a beautiful thing.
So what I'm saying tonight, because Easter approaches and not because I'm religious, more because Good Friday is the 3rd anniversary of my Father's death and Easter Sunday 11 years ago is when i first realised i had alcoholism and if i continued i would end up dying like my father did a lonely alcoholic after a 27 year suicide. Alone. In pain. Alcoholic. For me it's an emotional time and Easter signifies life.
So, for me Marathon is life. It;s a sign of my sobriety, One of the only things i actually do instead of saying I'm going to do. It's a physical fact. And it's full of love and compassion and all the things that are in very short supply in all our busy lives. Certainly mine, especially at work in the city.It's my favourite London day of the year. If alcoholism signifies lonely death, sobriety signifies life and love. My struggle is the pull between the two.
Don't get me wrong, there are points in the marathon that are fucking horrible. You're
What is equally beautiful is writing this blog. I love it. I love doing it and i love it i have kept it up and talked about my head, my life, my worries. I have bared my soul and the fact that some people read it and comment is a bonus.
The reason i write it? Because as you may have noticed the tone and narrative and subject of it has changed since the first sentence of this post. It has helped change my mind, my mood and got me thinking. For that alone it is worth doing.
So thanks for reading it. It's like a little electronic marathon day as we come together from all parts of the world. Makes me happy, well tonight anyway, maybe tomorrow I'll go back to being a miserable bastard!
Now, please go an find me a publisher and get that cheque in the post!
Big love people
xx
#marathon=shrink!
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