1 hour cycle (Gym) - Cross Train
Hooray! Day off. From work and hopefully my head. No commute today which is a bonus. Instead i get back on the exercise train and after putting it off for 2 days, I'm back in the gym.
Still feeling fatigued and mongy but legs have healed 80% and no longer feel like stale baguettes. I cycled merrily whilst watching Homes Under the Hammer and reading the paper. Exercise by leisure. I did a few cross training exercises but at a pace slower than the M25 at rush hour. It was hard going.
Still, it was good to get back into it. I miss it when I'm not doing it and now that i don't have a goal, an event to work towards my desire to run is non existent. Clearly i need another goal. It helps to get training. To have a focus. I find it hard after a marathon to get motivated again. Strange really as you would have thought it fires you up for greater things, but i have always struggled. This time is no different
I've thought of a few goals, more Marathons. Ironman triathlons, which is brutal and time consuming. Boxing, Tour De France, cross training Gladiator style, natural bodybuilding, climbing, all kinds of stuff really. I'm not sure what the next thing will be, but I'll keep ticking over in the meantime.
Exercise is important to my mental state. If I'm not doing it i feel frustrated and lazy. Not that it is an obsession or exercise addiction, but it makes me feel good and hopefully look good too. I saw pictures of myself at 20 years old on Facebook the other day and fuck me did i look awful. Bloated with a massive round face. I looked like Frank Sidebottom or the moon. Dreadful. I think I'll stick to sobriety and exercise. Helps with body and mind.
Basically the marathon was great. Gave me focus. reason to train. To keep in shape. The day was a buzz. It's great to raise money for charity and give something back. It was good for the soul. Nourishing. Enriching. Wonderful.
But crucially it was a great opportunity to get the body in tip top shape. To get the guns and pipes in order. To become a marathon god so that chatting up that girl in Starbucks becomes that much easier. Deep spiritual nourishing journey? Of course. It's a good job I'm not a self obsessed female addict in constant need of attention and outside affirmation judging his esteem by female interest.
God what an empty vacuous existence that would be, surely there is more to life than that? Art, poetry, music, friends, family, love, charity, community, comedy, writing. Yes all these things are part of life's great journey.
So my day off, i did the gym, did a presentation for another little business I'm trying to start up which went OK, i read a book, prayed, spoke to a few fellow alcoholics, looked around the shops before i rested in a coffee shop.
I Read the arts section of the Guardian, people watched, mulled over the achievement of the past few weeks......looked across the coffee shop, spotted a girl in ultra tight leggings and heels, thought about that empty soulless existence and decided it was time to make a decision Nick. Grow up, use your time and thoughts and energy on creative positive things.............In the old days there would be no choice. But now it's a dilemma. A huge dilemma. Give her my business card or just ask for her mobile number.
Fuck. I need to book another marathon. #oldhabitshardtobreak
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