What happens when someone pisses you off? What do you do about it? Does it happen often? Is it a problem to you? Do you respond or let it all wash over you?
It just happened to me. Not anything big or major. But I asked someone I work with a reasonable question and was met with a predictable 'fuck off' type response. As predicted. I didn't want to ask but needed to.
It wasn't the answer I wanted. The answer I wanted is for my way of course. For things to be as I want in the way that I want them. The reply was dismissive and really pissed me off.
So what do I do? I got angry but instead I said 'thank you very much' and walked away. Fuming. A few swear words to myself, a few volley's of abuse to nobody in particular and then it died down.
It's interesting. I could see what was at work there. My intolerance, impatience and need to get my own way. It was in my head, not the public domain. I was careful to present a friendly face, it didn't match my insides of course and I asked a fair question.
The trouble was the reply. The person I asked may have been having a bad day, they maybe busy, they maybe stroppy or unhelpful. It's not the point is it. The point is my reaction. Why get pissed off? I may as well just let it go and find another route. But I am a human being and if someone is unhelpful we tend to get angry right?
That's what happens when you get an immovable object v immovable object. Stalemate. In the past I would still be spitting blood and heading to the local pub to vent my spleen, criticise at the injustice of it all and drink 12 pints of strong lager.
However, really at the end of the day who gives a fuck? It's not really Sky News. Instead Rolf Harris, yet another 70's super nonce has got that one stitched up today.
I'm going to have a quiet word to ensure there is no bad blood, after all, people have to get along at work don't they and I like my job.
I think that's a better way of dealing with it. My anger has subsided, writing it takes the power out of it. I can see how insignificant these feelings of indignant anger really are. You can't at the time of course, but gain a little perspective and suddenly it's a whole different ball game. You can see the truth and even laugh at your own absurdity.
It makes me remember a job I had 14 years ago at the end of my drinking. I had been out on yet another fake appointment and spent the past few hours sleeping off a hangover in my car and eating corned beef sandwiches.
I got back to the office slightly weary and waking up, only for my boss to hold up a handwritten fax I had done as a cover to a client which was illegible and badly spelt.
"What's this?" She angrily demanded
"A cover note" I yawned
"It's awful. So unprofessional. Never Ever send out something like that again" She hissed.
You can tell what's going to happen here right?
"What?" I was slowly waking up to this onslaught
"You type a fax. Not hand write. It's not what we do here" (baring in mind the place was the most unprofessional Football Club I had ever seen)
"I'm not a secretary" I shrugged. This seemed to make her angry.
"I am your boss and I'm telling you what do to. You do not do this"
"I don't care if you are my boss, I'm a salesman, not a fucking secretary. You want a fax typed then hire a PA. That fax was for a deal for £20k. Who else is doing that?"
"I don't care, that looks awful. You do as you are told"
"I couldn't give a fuck. In fact Fuck this. Fuck you. You and you're stupid fucking rules. You can fuck your job. Stick it up your arse. I quit."
"What?"
"I quit. This is a shithole and so are you. Fuck this. I'm keeping the car for a week. Bye"
And with that I stormed off, quit the job, kept the Ford Focus for a week and crawled into a bottle for 2 months.
I'm so pleased I deal with things differently now, but you know the interesting thing about sobriety? The pilot light is still lit inside and on a bad day my reaction to things is not great. The ego still burns. That's why we must be constantly vigilant and why I'm always banging on about recovering alkies being raging lunatics inside. Get the picture now?
Together We Are Stronger
Nichols E Evans
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