OK sod it, I'll watch the second half of Russia V South Korea. It's worth watching just for the commentary of the players names. I wasn't going to write today because I'm grumpy and a bit off key.
It's been A frustrating day. Not helped by staying up until 2.22am last night. Sodding World Cup. Those late night games are a killer. Plus, now I've gone back to solo living the temptation to not cook, look after oneself or sleep at a sociable hour is far too tempting. I love a bit of self sabotage me.
Clearly I was knackered. Clearly being tired doesn't help with intolerance. And clearly it was my 4th week waiting on a deal at work to be done that's been batted back between lawyers like Murray v Nadal. Frustrating.
Today was the day it was to be done and guess what? Silence. Total silence. No amount of emails, calls and gentle stalking worked. Instead my intolerance slowly rose throughout the day until I nearly emailed and called the whole thing off. What a massive baby I am sometimes. 3 months of careful discussions, negotiation, skillful manouvering and I was prepared to press the 'fuck it' button because it wasn't going my way.
Story of my ego that. The fuck it button is so tempting sometimes. Problems at work? Fuck it. Problems with relationship? Fuck it. Problems with anything? Double fuck it. It's just so easy to get in a temper and make the worst rash decision ever in the heat of an intolerable moment. King Baby.
Luckily I didn't and let it pass, settled down, told myself not to be so ridiculous and spent the afternoon trying to concentrate on some work whilst feeling the grumpiness in my head rise like a semi hard on.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't do anything wrong, say anything bad, display any rudeness or do anything other than act and behave professionally. But inside the grumpometer was hitting a good 8/10.
I left work and went to my customary favourite rubber necking spot. Outside Costa in Richmond, sat at a pavement table, drinking tea, smoking cigs and hiding behind a pair of dark glasses. It really is world class location. You can really people watch and check out the rush hour crumpet without looking like your doing so. It slightly raised my mood.
I was late for a meeting I really wanted to attend, so instead went to the gym and did some half arsed exercise. I'd still rather work on my guns than spiritual condition if I'm honest. I'm not that advanced on the Inside Job yet.
Then as I left, the tiredness hit me. The grumpiness returned and was instantly replaced with financial fear and insecurity. This is what happens when you are tired, haven't eaten much and defences are down. Ideal scientific conditions for character defects to run amok.
Just to slam a final nail into my grumpy coffin I nipped into Asda which was the ultimate tolerance tester as the girl behind the counter was struggling with the concept of money. She just couldn't seem to count and decided to shut down her till, after I queued for 10 minutes. I held it together and didn't cause a fuss. Nobody likes to see a smartly dressed man kick off in Asda Local.
Finally I got home at 10pm. Door shut. Switch off. Relax.
Remarkable really as no damage was done. Nobody was shouted at. Temper wasn't lost. Things weren't thrown. OK, it wasn't the best of days but they cant all be champagne super nova's can they?
Now back to the footie
Together We Are Stronger
Nicholas E Evans
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