Remember what I said about level 1 listening a few weeks ago? Need a little reminder?
We listen in 3 ways;
Level 1 - listening to your own head not the other person (not engaged)
Level 2 - Listening fully to the other person but concentrating hard on listening (engaged but it takes work)
Level 3 - Listening fully, naturally, organically, taking in the whole picture and in 'the zone'.
Today I had a great example of level 1 listening and low self esteem affecting a meeting. Good thing I was able to spot it and nip in the bud.
Have you ever been into an environment and thought, 'fuck me I'm out of my league here'. Well, I did today. It was great!
I went to a work meeting. Just for background, I'm trying to sell a concept, a potential, a brand, a vision. It is my job to excite people and get them on board. So I walked into the unknown today. It was an agency but I didn't know the size of it until I got there. Turns out they're the biggest in the world looking after all the biggest brands. They were top class.
I walked in and holy shit it was like something out of the future. Big cool open planned spaces, sofas, tables, it's own coffee bar, glass open planned offices. People slouching with Ipads. It was stylish central. This place almost had 'money' written all over it. Truly an 'aspirational' place. The sort you would see in Sunday Times Style Magazine. I'm more of a Razzle man myself. So you could see the difference.
I immediately felt a little nervy (as the in built inside job of old held low beliefs in myself hold deep sometimes) It was a good job I had my full regalia on and in full Beckhamesque mode (PS - this is an observation not a boast but fuck me do I get looked at loads in town when out and about. I'm sure people look and think, 'Is he famous' before going about their day)
My thinking is that if I look like I know what I'm on about then that's half the battle.
So I ordered a skinny PG tips and settle down on the leather sofa. In came the poshest loveliest guy. All check shirt and Gucci loafer casual. They were dead nice and within 10 minutes I realised this man was exceptional at his job and I became slightly mesmerised by his knowledge. I actually enjoyed listening, forgetting I was supposed to be pitching.
Then it happened. The level 1 thinking. I said a sentence and almost instantly the inner voice kicked in, 'That was shit. You're way out of your league here. Shut up." And so the inner dialogue continued for a while as I attempted to listen to this lovely chap. "Would you shut the fuck up", I countered. "Fuck you loser", was the reply. Shit.
This argument happened for around 2 minutes. "You don't belong in this environment. These are big players. Stick to your provincial sporting club and portacabin you Loser." The committee had been awakened. They are never far and always eager to join the party.
I wasn't putting up with this. So I broke them. I smashed up the committee. You know how? I was honest. That's how. Not that I was having a psychological meltdown of course. Christ no you have to have some integrity.
No I told the truth about me, about the product about where we were at. I didn't sell. I didn't pretend to be a big swinging dick. I was me. The real me and you know what. The committee fucked off. I didn't feel less than and it was fun. It was OK. I enjoyed it.
What an amazing experience. I really enjoyed observing the head and then blowing the 'shitty thinking' away just by being authentic. I like it. I may try that more.
I was so impressed I went to the gym after work and hit some heavy weights. I felt good. So good in fact that I discussed level 1 listening to a few guys in the changing room. They became interested. I then told them a little about the recovery coaching and the levels of listening and how you can tell when someone is in level 1,2 or 3.
I didn't even know it and I was in coaching mode. Not in a trying it with someone way, but just because I was interested, animated and authentic. They seemed interested though and we had a good 10 minute power chat.
It was only after this time that I realised I had conducted this power coaching master class entirely with my cock out. I was stark naked. We all were. We had come out of the sauna and stood there talking, cocks out, realising it.
I must admit these were slightly unnatural coaching conditions. But fuck it. Men have nothing to hide when naked. We were truly exposed. The only thing we didn't do was grunt and sacrifice a sheep. It was very funny and something I will laugh at for many an hour. I honestly had no idea I was delivering a passionate explanation of level 1 listening whilst having one leg on the bench and my ball sack hanging down like an udder. To be fair to the boys they were all in level 3. I'm pretty sure this ghastly site didn't distract them. We were all in the same boat. Perhaps this is the future of coaching. No fucking distractions. Naked Coaching. I'm in - are you?
Together We Are Stronger
Nicholas Evans
No comments:
Post a Comment