So today was a WFH day (work from home). Lots of talk recently in the media about working from home due to the Olympics. Most people who have to commute every day get that 'Yeah right' look on their face when people say 'i'm working from home today'. it's that sort of knowing look when talking to a serial adulterer or someone who's well pissed and tries to convince you 'they've only had a couple', whilst stinking like they've been swimming in a pool of Teachers.
Everyone knows working from home is a euphemism for doing sod all right? Well wrong actually. Think how much time is saved not queueing, commuting, talking shite to colleagues, lunching, having tea, arsing about in the office. At home the only commute is from the khazi to the kitchen. You can focus, get more done.
I for instance invested the time really wisely today and worked like a little Trojan. I started off with Jeremy Kyle, then went into Homes Under the Hammer, Cash in The Attic. I gave myself time off over lunch where i read the paper and ate some tuna. Then i was back on the grindstone with Loose Women, Bargain Hunt, Britain's Best Dish and Midsomer Murders. I was knackered come teatime. This working from home lark is harder than it sounds. I didn't even have time to go shopping, gym, yoga and surf the Internet for mindless filth.
I was so caught up and busy i had to cancel my doctors appointment penned in for 5.40pm. Now i rang the surgery to cancel and rearrange but had a little difficulty with the receptionist who is genuinely stupid and unhelpful. I've got some previous with her before when i joined up the surgery and had to bite my tongue when she showed about as much willingness to help as the world is showing to Syria.
Today i asked to cancel and rearrange until next week early evening, after work as i am well busy next week. After her asking for my name 4 times, date of birth 3 times and what time my appointment was for today 5 times. She did it all with the kind of attitude like I'd just said to her that I've killed her entire family and hate kittens and babies and Britain's Got Talent. She's hard work.
We finally got on to the subject of next weeks appointment, which turned into a really bizzare weird conversation. She is so desperately stupid and unfriendly it actually made me question my own sanity. Is it me? maybe I'm insane. Well you can judge for yourself;
Me - "Can i have Thursday early evening as i can't get away from work until 4 or 5pm."
Her - "3pm?"
Me - "Er no that's not early evening is it?"
Her - "Well yes actually it is"
Me - "I thought that was mid afternoon"
Her - "No, it's not"
Me - "Well i can't make it as i said i can't get away from work in the City until 4 or 5"
Her - "4pm"
Me - "Er no as i said early evening. After 5 up to 6"
Her - "well early evening is from 2pm. So do you want 6"
Me - "I've always considered after 5 or 6 as early evening"
Her - "Well it's a matter of opinion everyone got their own perception haven't they"
Me - (Now confused as fuck and too tired to argue) "mm"
Her - "so what time do you want"
Me - "I thought I'd said 5 or 6pm a few times so I'll go for that please"
Her - "OK 6pm next Thursday"
Me - "Thank you"
Her - "Bye"
Me - "Bye"
What the fuck? Is she mad, stupid, on acid? What the fuck just happened. If early evening is from 2pm, what the fuck does that make teatime? Or for that matter the cocktail hour? How about dinner time, by her reckoning that's late at night and late night must then move until tomorrow, the early hours. Which makes tomorrow today.
Fuck me in her worked she's just totally changed the whole axis of time. It changes everything in the world. Financial Markets, light. GMT, Stars, The universe, what time Argos opens. She's just fucked the entire planet. #confused
Not only is she totally mad and weird but totally unfriendly short as well. Each conversation is like she's conducting an interview by satellite link from Mars, her replies have 4 second delays like she hasn't digested what you've just said.
I think she's been planted in the surgery to ween out the mentally ill. Government cuts see. They can't bare to tell bad news to patients faces that there is no funding to give them treatment, instead they employ a weird as fuck deeply stupid receptionist to scare people off from coming in.
She was and is the female Terry Fuckwitt. I remain stunned several hours later. Live and Let live is the code i am supposed to live by. She is one of Gods children and all that, just like me. We are equal. No better, no worse. Who am i to judge?
Well yes of course I agree but what a stupid fucking twat she was and not only her there are lots of them about. Austerity just brings them out more. For Christ sakes there was like a Mass rally of them over the weekend. I know what they are called. Extreme Royalists. Yes they are now full of confidence after being encouraged and trumpeted by the media over the weekend.
Oh god people, I've only just realised. They are taking over. It really is the Rise of the Idiots. God help us. They have been encouraged by the Mothership of Stupidity. Tess Daly being given the lead reporting role in the BBC coverage of the State Flotilla and gone mad. They've seen Eugine and Beatrice in the Royal Box at the concert and Cheryl Cole stood next to the Queen. They seen wall to wall coverage of the news of them getting to the Mall at 3AM in tents and waiting for 20 hours for a glimpse of a car with an old woman waving. They've been filmed waving flags and eating mini eggs.
They have found their voice. Fuck, it;'s Wimbledon next. They'll be converging on Henman Hill and painting their faces in St Georges cross and talking about tennis when they've never even played.
Fuck me, the Rise of the Idiots is upon us people and today i have just made contact with their leader. Avoid Barnes Doctors Surgery. It;s bad for your health
love you all
xx
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