Day 214 - Friday 3rd Aug - Olympics Day 7 - Goldrush + Power tools + i've had a 'balding' haircut

What a day!!!!! The Olympics was awesome, i used a chainsaw for first time in my life, did some gardening and in homage of the legend that is Balding i had my hair styled in her honour.

Day 7 was a beauty. I don't care if I've turned into Mr Cheerleader knobhead. I've never been so enthusiastic and uncool in my life. I'll be hanging bunting and queuing in Mall next whilst listening to Adele.

I'm loving how the Olympic day pans out. It all builds to a crescendo later on  when there is a thrilling medal rush. It's the polar opposite of a day on the piss followed by a drunken shag and a kebab, but it gives a similar joyful feeling of a long session.

Day 7 is when the track started and the stadium was full. The Games have fully begun. All it needs now is for Boris to ab sail across the roof in a crumpled suit. Oh hang on......

It was mostly the turn of the girls today, starting with the Rowing delivering a bronze, silver and then gold by a pair of cox less girls (How true) Then it switched to the Judo, with a bronze &  Jessica Ennis firing out of the blocks and smashing a world record in the heptathlon hurdles. Addlington weighed in with a bronze in the pool, then it was the turn of the track cyclists to dominate.

And Fuck me did they? They were like Kink Kong on Viagra. Epic. Not only does the velodrome look incredible, but the space age look to the cyclists makes it so fucking cool. Pendleton pissed all over the rest of the field and picked up gold in the Kieren. A weird event where the bloke on the little bike in front looks like he's got lost from the Italian Job. Funny.

Then the boys took over and did the team pursuit, which just looks awesome and smashed the world record by miles hoovering up gold. British Cycling is a true world leader in just about everything. #class.

So another thrilling Olympic day, the only downside i didn't get to see Balding anchor the Friday night Aquatic centre coverage as i was out. I tweeted and tried so hard to get my homage blog to her seen by many yesterday, including copying in just about everyone at the BBC and her. Alas no response. However my admiration for the Balding moved to an Olympic level today when i got my barnet styled in her magnificent way. #Baldinghairgold.

Fucking disappointed to only have 99 followers on Twitter though. What a saddo

Do me a favour people - can you follow me https://twitter.com/ - and tell everyone you know to, especially for this blog - i work my bollocks off writing every day and whilst some of it is dull, there is plenty of gold and i reckon it deserves a decent following. Cheers

I was also struck by the massively camp Ian Thorpe or 'Thorpeedo' (not good to have a nickname ending in peado) on BBC with The Gabby for the highlights show. It must have been my hearing but I'm sure he said to Gabby he's looking forward to a good rimming tonight. It wouldn't surprise me. The man is camper than Graeme Norton at a scouts convention. At least he's better than Johnathon Edwards and Gary Lineker who have taken the enthusiasm for the Olympics too far and turned themselves gold in colour. They may as well get David Dickinson to join them on the sofa.

Today was a monumental day. I actually did gardening. The front of my house was like one of those neighbours from hell. All overgrown it was like a Jazz mag from the 70's. All that was missing was several cars on bricks.

So i did what all independent (nearly) 40 year old men about town do. I called in my Mother. She loves gardening and has all the kit, so she came up with a chainsaw and other kit and we set to work. Granted i am a lazy sod and she is a proper grafter. So i needed the help in motivation. I must change my stock catchphrase from 'i'll do it tomorrow' to 'Can you do it for me now'

I got to chop down all the rough with the chainsaw and actually rather liked it. Something about a massive chainsaw that makes you feel like a man. I was then strimming, chopping and sawing like Alan Titchmarsh. I actually enjoyed it, until we had to clear it up. I noticed the distinct genetic make up of my father within me. He was a lazy bastard and so am i. I do just enough and want to leave it at that, whereas she wants an immaculate job and will not finish until it's properly done. I admire that, maybe i should become a little more that way. We can always learn.

By the end the front of the house looked as tidy as a freshly shaved quim. No longer does the gaff look like it's inhabited by people on Jeremy Kyle. The neighbours are well chuffed, then the odd bloke next door kept coming out to impart his gardening knowledge whilst forgetting the front of his house looks like he's been dead for a year. Overgrown. It made mine look like Hampton Court.

I'm up early to the female Triathlon in Hyde Park tomorrow morning, though the 2am finish of this blog is going to play tricks. Helen Jenkins is a medal possibility so if she does it, the buzz and crowd will be awesome. Makes me want to get back into Triathlon again, though judging by today a spot on Gardeners World beckons, if of course they'll have a gardener in tight jeans, shades and CAT boots looking like he's dressed for a date with the Thorpeedo. Camp gardening was all the rage in Bankside Close today.

Bring on the Triathlon, Day 8, Ennis for gold and the rowing, more cycling and anything else GB  for that matter. I was even watching the sailing today for Christ sake and enjoying it. I've clearly gone totally insane.

More gold please GB

xx