A man has many moments in his life that are significant. Moments that are life changing. Your first kiss. Losing your virginity. The first time you get served in a pub. Shaving. Your first pay packet. Living with a girlfriend. Your first car. All the things that mean you grow from a boy into a man.
There are so many stages in a man's development. From the naive hedonism of your 20's, to the so called maturity of your 30's. Most men at this point settle down, get married, have kids and move into that responsible stage. Your not a real man unless you've put up a shed, got a mortgage, got a family and started to wear fleece. But at heart most men never really explore the visions they had as a kid.
I never settled down and did all that, instead I revisited much of my 20's lost to blackout drinking. I loved my 30's and remember so many important milestones that helped me turn into a man. I buried my father, grew a beard, got grey hairs, developed biceps and pecs, grooved mature worry lines. But I tried to live some of those visions I had as a kid. Performed comedy, visited glamorous places, slept with gorgeous women (and not so gorgeous) and generally lived a life.
I remember as a kid watching Roger Moore in James Bond in a white tuxedo and thinking, 'wow' how glamorous and exciting. Legend. You know when you're a kid you imagine being or doing things as an adult you base on something you've seen on TV. When you reach that age how many of us have become that person and did it feel like you imagined?
Well, on Thursday I reached that point in my life. I became the person I saw as a kid. I morphed into Roger Moore. I reached a point of no return. I wore my first ever white tuxedo. And it felt good!
I didn't step out of a Lotus Esprit. I didn't have a never ending supply of buxom beauties. I wasn't a spy, a player, in Monte Carlo or the movies. I was in Batersea at a sports awards dinner for work but it felt fucking great!!
Don't get me wrong I still feel slightly inadequate as a man, (no marriage, kids, family etc) but on Thursday I felt like the don. A cross between Tony Montana, Staying Alive, The Roger Moore, a waiter, a chef and a knob. I didn't care. I was the only man in a room of 1800 people to wear a white tux. It felt like a significant moment.
I had racked up enough meetings in my 12 years of sobriety to feel comfortable enough in my own skin to go for it. I was worried as I had clients and thought it was OTT, and to be fair it was but fuck it. That's me.
I got so much attention. From boys. From girls. From clients and seeing as I don't drink it was my thing. My way of having fun. I am by nature a flamboyant dresser with a unique style and of course a terrible attention seeker. This wasn't so blatant. You may think someone wearing that is but if its good enough for Roger its good enough for me. I actually like the style.
Suddenly I entered into a different league in manhood. I cant do DIY, organise an ISA or build a shed. But I look fucking good in a white tuxedo and man does it give off a powerful vibe. It's fanny magnet and make no mistake. However as a committed man, that's not my aim any more. It also commanded respect from my ultra male guests who could only pay respect at my sheer nuts in wearing it. Plus it gained respect from them when girls came up to tell me I looked like Beckham.
It created a talking point for people I didn't know as I wanted to get contacts and most importantly it meant a woman from AA notice me, come over to me and said, 'thank god I spotted that white jacket I needed to connect with another member in this pissed insanity".
The dinner was a drink fest so my jacket had taken the healing property of bringing recovering alcoholics together. It was getting spiritual now. The power of the white tux.
Most blokes would love to wear things like that but just don't have the courage. I may get some stick but that's cool but I know deep down there is a respect and hint of jealousy. My message is do it boys. It sends you into a different stage of manhood.
I survived the long pissed night of endlessly talking to clients, potential clients and people of huge self importance. It was fun, stylish and ultimately exhausting. I lasted until 2am and left. I took me and my white jacket back to my car on the Kings Road, Chelsea and drove home.
Within 2 minutes I was stopped by the police. Apparently not for my white jacket, more to do with the fact I forgot to put my lights on. After a routine check I was on my way.
10 minutes later at the end of the Kings Road, I was stopped again. For fucks sake. Nothing for years and then two in 10 minutes.
Again they confirmed it wasn't because of the white tux, instead they asked the question all recovering alcoholics in sobriety want to be asked. The officer got out of the car, approached my window, asked me to turn off my engine and then asked;
"Have you been drinking Sir?" Oh fuck me, thank you God, I've been waiting years for this one . You beauty. I waited, paused, let a few beats go by before replying in a measured, straight faced tone,
"Not since August 6th 2011 officer."
BOOM!!!! Take that you fucking cunt. It's 2.30am. I'm tired. I've had to sit around with pissed people for 6 hours. I'm fucking sober. I attend AA. I don't drink. I wasn't speeding. I own a normal car. Yes I know I'm wearing a white jacket and look like a waiter but for fucks sake let me get home!!!
I smiled. He didn't. I was impressed. He wasn't. I looked elated. He looked confused.
"Er, well very good. On you go then."
DOUBLE BOOM. I managed to confuse a policeman just by being honest. Off home I went ever so grateful to be sober. It was a special evening and moment. All done in a white tuxedo. Thanks God.
I urge all men to wear one. I was only upstaged by a woman from Towie in a white dress with massive see through bits in it. Now that is proper 'LOOK AT ME' fashion, bold, capital letters. Exclamation mark after it. Mine was merely ''look at me', bold, lowercase in italics. No exclamation mark needed.
That sums it up really and I have to be honest I'm pretty happy with that description.
Together We Are Stronger
Nicholas 'Roger Moore' Evans
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