If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/cslewis141015.html#mUQ2ZkaQiproqqJC.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/cslewis141015.html#mUQ2ZkaQiproqqJC.99
If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/cslewis141015.html#mUQ2ZkaQiproqqJC.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/cslewis141015.html#mUQ2ZkaQiproqqJC.99
If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/cslewis141015.html#mUQ2ZkaQiproqqJC.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/cslewis141015.html#mUQ2ZkaQiproqqJC.99
If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/cslewis141015.html#mUQ2ZkaQiproqqJC.99
"If you Look for truth you may find comfort in the end, if you look for comfort you will get neither comfort or truth only soft soap and despair" Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/cslewis141015.html#mUQ2ZkaQiproqqJC.99
CS Lewis
What is truth? Before I discuss, let's look at the dictionary definition.
Truth = Conformity to fact or actuality
There it is, confirmation of a fact or actuality. For me the truth is the eternal search. I am inherently a dishonest person. It runs through me. So I cannot sit on a moral high ground on this subject, nor would I ever try.
In my last blog I tackled the subject of the ignorant reaction on social media to the circumstances of Peaches Geldof's death. It is a subject that has stirred many emotions. There are layers and layers of lies, mis-truths and ignorance. It made me think of the truth. What does it actually mean?
Our society is littered with phrases, 'to tell you the truth', 'if I'm honest.....' and 'if the truth be known..' You can guarantee if someone starts off a phrase like that what will come out of their mouth is a total lie, or even worse a version of the truth distorted by their opinion and thoughts.
There are so many layers and textures to truth so it cannot be pigeon holed into a neat box. Things are rarely so black and white.
In Peaches case, she hid the truth about her drug use, she hid the truth about her lifestyle, creating a wholesome family image for public persona. She used modern social media communication tools to promote a version of the truth that was ultimately not real. Most of us do to some degree. She was not alone.
She may or may not have hidden from the ultimate truth of addiction. Again, most do. Who cares to admit complete defeat anyway. Most don't and will continue on the juggernaut of self will. Papering over the cracks, until something has to give. In her case it was the ultimate crash, it took her life. To most it is a series of painful blows that accumulate over a long period of time.
The ultimate judgment of truth though is facing your own demons. Facing your own truth. Not just on drugs or alcohol. But your own fears, insecurities, damage. That is the ultimate truth.
Of course, truth is about the daily things. Being honest to partners, not cheating, not stealing, not lying. Trying to tell the truth and live an honest life. It is hard, How many of us are 100% honest and truthful? How many of us face our own truths?
As CS Lewis said in the quote above, the search for truth will bring comfort in the end. The trouble is it takes time. The struggle is uncovering all the layers and working through them.
Of course some don't want to and that's fair enough. I admire people who don't want/need to uncover their truth. The get on with life and seem to be happy and live a full life. I like those people. I do not think people who search for their truth are on a higher plane. We are all on different paths.
My goal is to uncover my truths others are too scared or embarrassed to admit. I think in making them acceptable it provides a great power and strength to normalise them, others to feel Ok about having them too and crack on. Then we can really get on with life, because we needn't hide things that hold us back. I suppose that in a nutshell defines me and this blog.
I have seen many people die, use substances, or are damaged which has resulted in a life course that is painful and hard because they are burying damage deep down and are unwilling or unable to access or confront their truth. I count myself in that bracket and it's what drives my writing, this blog and future work too. I feel it is my duty in a way (not too grandiose is it?)
There is of course the truth on a society level. Bankers fiddling their bonus. Financial institutions looking for the quick profit. TV personalities as paedophiles, Government cover ups, Hillsborough. Wars, weapons of mass destruction, killers killing and then doing press conferences to plea for the killer to step forward. The list could go on.
We live in a weird time. Where the truth doesn't really matter. How many of us read newspapers and watch the news and believe everything that's said? Surely after all the wars, expenses scandals. TV personalities one would have thought now not to believe what we are told.
Do we not think there is an agenda in TV stations to promote a version of the news? It is, after all yet another commodity being packaged and sold to us. The truth becomes less important. Watch the film Wag the Dog, a brilliant portrayal on how the truth can be created, sold so that everyone starts believing it.
That is no different from what Peaches Geldof did on Instagram. Which makes people judging and criticising her totally miss the point. They are all part of the same system and if they really drilled down would see that they too have been dishonest in some way or form. All that is happening their is blatant ignorance and hypocrisy, though they would never see that.
How many of us don't tell our partner how we really feel? Is it because we are scared of upsetting them or because we are scared of losing them and being on our own? How's that for a large dose of truth? How many of us have faced up to that one? Instead most of us are far happier criticising them for their shortcomings rather than admitting our own. I'm a master at that.
How many of us have taken a sick day when we're not sick, not told someone how you feel about them, cheated on a partner, skipped an appointment or criticised someone behind their back only to be as nice as pie to their face? Those are all forms of dishonesty, deception and avoiding the truth.
If of course you are 100% whiter than white, have stood on the front line of addiction ,worked with families torn apart by the disease, physically helped lots of addicts not die and achieved the Nobel peace prize, maybe, just maybe you may have an opinion on her parenting and death. However if you would have done all that, I doubt very much if you would be condoning and criticising her death from a drugs overdose in the company of her child, after presenting herself as a mother of the year. Ignorance and hypocrisy would not be your make up. Open mindedness, honesty and empathy would.
The truth of addiction is that it really does exist. The truth is it kills. The truth for society is that it is all around us. The truth about addiction is that it destroys lives, generations, families, children, parents, partners, brothers, sisters. The ripple effect goes out.
Individuals, courts, hospitals, prisons. All full of the consequences of addiction. It effects you even when you don't know it. And for the people who have to live with it in their families? How about growing up as a child of an addict? How about the insecurity, the need for acceptance, the deep rooted self pity and sadness. If you don't deal with that you effectively live a life which becomes a series of events mask that, 'fix you' and make you feel better. But if you don't deal with the truth then it will always, as the quote said, end in some kind of despair, whichever form it takes.
And what about the addict who doesn't confront the truth? Who cannot face the fear, bewilderment, pity, selfishness, low self esteem, self hatred, tragedy and pain? Well they end up like poor Peaches. Dead, with your child crying around your feet, a needle in your arm and a 60 year life ahead of you gone. That is what hiding from the truth can do. Granted it's the most severe example. But a powerful one at that.
My father took 35 years to do that. Most addicts/alcoholics do not die quickly. Instead theirs is a long, slow, miserable death that can take generations. That is the truth of the disease. That is the truth.
So what sparked this debate on truth? I was at a meeting today and spoke to a guy who was in bits. He couldn't say why but was howling. I spoke to him privately. He told me he couldn't share what he'd been doing with anyone, hated himself for it and was in a dark dark space.
After a short while. I asked him the question, 'women?' - 'Yes' came the reply and then he proceeded to tell me the whole shooting match. He had been acting out all over the shop. Cheating on his bird with prostitutes, watching porn, lying, deceiving. He was riddled with guilt, fear, shame, terror.
We talked. I didn't judge, lord knows I've done pretty much every dodgy thing there is to do, but we talked, nailed the real truth deep down, which was control, fear and abandonment and he went off feeling better. Within 5 minutes of speaking he told me stuff he said he had never, nor would ever tell a living soul.
I'm not saying he's cured or won't act out again, or indeed what he's doing isn't right, That's not my position to judge. He will do exactly as he wants/is meant to do. Our own journeys.
But what I do know is that eventually the truth will set us free. It may not be immediately, it may not stop people from getting in pain or having bad shit happen to us. It may not stop tragedy but it's a long old life and I'm a firm believer in finding the right areas to uncover the truth about ourselves and then we can life a life that is more in the direction we were always meant to.
After all the truth is confirming an actuality and if we don't confirm that, it gnaws like a cancer inside. That's why the truth will set us free. It's just taking a little longer than I hoped.
Deep stuff but I like it.
Together We Are Stronger
Nicholas E Evans
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