Oh my god I'm 40. I woke up this morning and actually realised I'm 40. I think I've been on such a high over the past 10 days that i woke this morning with an almighty crash. I appear to be me again. Nuts
I have been on such an adrenaline rush and high over the past few days. I have had a ball. It started off with holiday and getting a proper massive tan. I love being tanned. I know I'm a vain bastard but i don't care. How many men actually admit to being vain? It takes ages for me to go shopping, all those bastard shop windows to glance at your reflection. It's a nightmare.
Holiday meant no diet coke, sugar and uber healthy diet. Running every day, sleeping and feeling good. I came back well tanned up and i know this is going to make me sound like a proper twat but i looked really good. Now i come from a position of being 15-16 stone throughout my 20's. Being a really chubby little kid with bigger knockers than Jordan at school. So for me it's still rather a novelty to look good. I like it.
When i was away the Tesco mobile advert was screened on National TV. This meant i was inundated with messages from people saying they'd seen me, posting pics of it on Facebook. Oh my god it was all about me. Attention. Whilst i coolly try to make it look as if attention is no big deal to me, secretly deep down of course it is. A dreadful part of me i admit, but real none the less. This of course fed it.
Then i got back and it was straight into my 40th birthday. A family occasion and i got more attention and gifts and love. Me.
Then it was straight into my comedy night, where i got to talk about ME, more. Doing 40th birthday gags and more about Me.
Then in case all of that attention and Me ism wasn't enough, it was my party. Pub Idle. Just to generate more attention i got to dress up as Elvis, hire a band, sing and then compere a singing competition. Fuck loads of attention and of course as party host for the night it really was all about me. Though weirdly felt rather humbled on the night. Even i was getting bored of me at the end.
Then for a few days after you dine off the energy, love, adrenaline and memory of that night. Looking through the endless pictures of ME, watching the videos, checking all my cards and gifts and generally feeling pretty dam amazing. It helps of course to hear people saying what an amazing party and how good a time they had. This all adds to the general high of course. Then came meeting Clare Balding and BOOM. It just carried on.
The health & vitality was still alive for a few days after. The Tan was holding up. I was even using facial scrub and moisturiser for fucks sake (apparently it prolongs the tan. A little like stay hard cream for your cock, just a different ingredient. I hope i don't get them mixed up)
Can life be like this all the time please? Can i bottle this and roll it out forever?
Then today, i woke up, time to work, low energy. A chill in the air, slightly dark. Reality. Boom.
The messages have gone, the applause has died down. It's no longer all about ME. How disappointing. The world is now getting on with it's business. My turn too.
I call people to thank them for coming on Saturday whilst secretly doing it so i can hear them saying how cool it was and amazing i was etc etc - it's pathetic fishing really and they saw through that. 'I'm not being funny Nick it was a good party but i got 2 screaming kids here and a running bath. I love you but move along and fuck off'.
The endless re running of videos until 3am, the studying of photos. The memories. Even the people who recognised me off the advert have said 'i recognise you on the advert', they're not going to say it again. This has forced me to go to new meetings i haven't been to for ages to see some old familiar faces in the forlorn hope they'll go 'did i see you on the tellie?'. The lengths people will go for attention seeking. Sad. I may aswell apply for Big Brother!
Today the head started again too. That annoying negative niggle, which has been quiet for a few days. I am definately coming back.
I hope the past 2 weeks haven't been like my Olympics. You know that 2 week golden period where everything was amazing, wonderful, positive, adrenaline fuelled, where you talked to strangers on tubes, plotted the future, thought anything was possible and then, as soon as it ended, you were back to normal. 'Why are you talking to me on the tube? 'I think I'll put off climbing Everest until next year. I hate Boris Johnson'. Lets hope mine isn't similar.
I think vanity is a terrible trait in a man. Certainly women are put off by it. Naval gazing, self obsession, self centredness are all character traits that i don't particularly care for. I was only telling myself that in the mirror tonight before bed, as i put on my Clinique Face Mask and watched Pub Idle 2,3 and 4 on a loop until 3am.
It made me giggle that Bett Midler quote. "anyway enough about me. Lets talk about you. What do you think of me?"
Back to normal tomorrow readers.
xx
Friday, September 14, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Day 243 - Weds 12th September - Clare Balding Rules
Sugar hangover
Woke up with that feeling that you can't wait to go to bed. Even though you are actually in bed. It's Not a great start to the day. Why? It's that bastard sugar binge last night. 1st since pre holiday and guaranteed to make me tired, lethargic and yuky today. Bugger it. I was feeling so good aswell. it's like I'm inbuilt to fuck myself up. Will i ever learn? I should have gone for a sugar minge instead. Much more fun.
Me little business
Our little business (www.therefzone.co.uk ) is showing signs of potential growth. Hooray. Baby steps but Today was hopefully going to be the day we clinched investment and cracked on. We left empty handed with an instruction to do more planning, but with the door still ajar. There is still hope.
Disappointed, though clearly more work to do. Oh god i just used that dirty horrible word. Work. It appears that success in anything is essentially down to hard work. I've got a long way to go i think. Terrifying to lazy sods like me. i reckon it could be the test for new beginnings and attitudes ion my 40's. Apparently nothing just comes to you, you have to go out, work hard and get it.
Interval Training
Short for time? Slap in a quick 25 min interval session in the park. Alternate strength exercises with sprints. It's a Killer and brutal but i did a good one today before wanting to sleep on the park bench. Only in the old days Evans, move on. Watch out for the dog shit though, i nearly had a nasty experience during a burpee.
Clare Balding Rocks
I love her. It's Official. I declare it to the world. The Balding just rules. Went to a book reading in Shoreditch House (top venue) with a lovely friend. On the bill was Shirley Conran, an author who wrote bestsellers like 'Lace' and other books in the 70's and 80's. The original sexual literary. She read an extract which started with 'Griffin shoved his hard cock in her mouth..." Not bad from an 80 year old. She read an S&M scene from her book and the 300 strong audience were transfixed and laughing. it was brilliant. She destroyed 50 Shades of Grey, describing it as a book written by a woman who wanted it not experienced it. She decried it as dull, non interesting bland sexual writing. I agree. I much prefer the Shirley. What an old bird. I hadn't anticipated getting a hard on from an 80 year old reading an S&M scene. That goes down in surprising hard on categories.
Then next up was the Balding, reading an extract from her new autobiography. What a hoot. A real scream. A totally delightful human being who was real, great fun, humble, non egotistical and genuinely warm and funny. I was a fan before. Predominately because of her hair and manner on TV. It has grown on me throughout the summer, but she entered a different league tonight.
She read an extract about when she dropped a sausage on the Queen, and then was interviewed about her life. She was hilarious and you genuinely warmed to her. Wanting the best for her. There was no hint of ego, pride, self obsession. She was straight down the line and there is just something about her that appeals. She had the 300+ trendies eating out of her hand. Great stuff.
It was at Shoreditch House which I've never really been too. It is private members place and you have to be 'doing something' to be there. Media types, literary, showbiz, creative. I do not usually go for these places. pretty much through fear and contempt prior to investigation. My domain is usually to feel superior in the Wheatsheaf or similar places. I usually feel uncomfortable and either hostile or less than 'trendies'. thinking either everyone is more successful than me or I'm superior. It is a perfect opportunity to feed my superiority complex with low self esteem.
What i liked about the Balding is that she displayed none of that, she talks alot about 'finding your own voice' in the world. About low self esteem and becoming who you are and being comfortable with it. I should imagine that doesn't include comparing and despairing with others. I reckon that's something to shoot for, as it doesn't matter where you are in the world then, you just be yourself and let the rest take care of itself.
It made me think. It made me think about what i want. It made me think about how i spend too much time, energy and thinking space worrying about nonsense, instead of just getting on with things. I reckon that will be pretty freeing to do. Reckon I'll give it a go readers.
I went up to her at the end, neglected to tell her I've been almost stalking her on Twitter, asked for a photo, said she was great and thanked her for being a good egg and that i enjoyed her hair during the 'lympics, so much so that i actually had it styled like her. That's not weird or creepy is it?
Thank god she bats for the other side, that way it's definately not a weird creepy sexual stalker thing. It's quite simply that i think the Balding rocks. She was of course lovely and said thank you and then tweeted 'thank you it as great to meet you' on Twitter. My life is now complete. A Tweet from the Balding. Does it actually get any better than that?
Get in there!!! Power Couple!
xx
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Day 242 - Tues 11th September - That F***g Cancer
9/11
Where were you 11 years ago today? Shocking wasn't it? 9/11. You looked on with a disbelief and mild panic. A true world event where everyone remembers where they were. I was in Tooting Broadway snooker club at the time, so a bunker of sorts plus I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be a number 1 target for terrorists.
I was 1 month sober, off my head, angry, confused, self consumed. People shared about it in meetings for ages afterwards which pissed me off. You know the ones claiming the grief like it was their own. Even though they had no involvement. My heart and thoughts of course goes out to anyone who lost friends or family in the disaster, but for me i have to confess i was numb to it. It was the other side of the world, i didn't know anyone, wasn't directly involved, it was on TV and whilst on a human level i was shocked, it didn't truly affect me.
Seems mad to think it was 10 years ago though. Time does genuinely seem to get quicker as you get older, which is another 'old' cliche thing to say. I really am over 40 now.
TV is full of documentaries of it and when you watch it is still hard to take it in.
That Advert
I keep getting people recognising me from the advert. I popped into my local sex shop today, just to have a little look at the video section, to see if all was in order. The bloke behind the counter said 'sorry to be personal (not the best thing to say in a sex shop) but were you in a Tesco advert recently?' Recognised in a sex shop now. I've truly made it. 'Yes i replied', and left the shop soon after.
The funniest thing about that shop though, is that my ex girlfriend genuinely thought 'Private Shop' was for espionage, private detectives selling surveillance equipment etc. This was so sweet and funny and i felt heartbroken when i had to break it to her that it was indeed a sex shop selling double dildos, arab straps and 'Anal invasion 6'.
F****g Cancer
I know so many people who have cancer. At least 4 people of various ages. It troubles me. Both my grandparents died of it at the ages of 82 and 97, so i suppose in my head i equated cancer with age. That's nonsense and a myth that has been exposed to be untrue. I'm learning all the time.
I have friends who have got it. Friends who have had it. Friends in remission. Friends who live with it. Friends who's parents have it. I mean when you start to look around it really is everywhere and a huge health problem.
I know very little about it so i cannot begin to write about the subject and I'm also worried that people with it may think 'who the hell are you to write about cancer I'm the one with it'.
I write about alcoholism and the effects of it alot, because that is my personal experience throughout my life and feel passionate about it. Although my lovely Nan and Gramps died from Cancer i don't have the same level of emotional connection, anger, passion about the disease. It's because of their age right?
Well true but they were still flesh and blood, family, loved ones. They still suffered horribly from it. They still had to endure it no matter what age. It's just at that age it's rarely treatable and becomes the reason for their passing. Not a nice way but one that you feel has some kind of 'natural order'.
But what of people my age? or 50? What of people who are younger? Kids for goodness sake. I am so ignorant of Cancer i thought you got it because you drank, smoked, ate shit, lived badly and induced it yourself. There is no doubt that is true but so many more seem pre destined to get it. They are just 'unlucky'.
But why? Is it genetic? is it DNA? Is it just bad luck? God knows an i suppose it's a waste of time trying to find the answer 'why'. The true question is 'what'. What to do about it.
Cancer to me is just a dreadful word. You invariably think the worst. Myth number 2 i have also learnt i was wrong.It's not the worst, the end. Yes there are stages of it. Yes it can be terminal but in the same way as alcoholism i guess there are stages and if it's spotted early and treated then it is an illness that can be either lived with or 'beaten'.
And how do i treat people with cancer? Just like when someone suffers a death what do you say? Myth number 3 i have recently learnt and was wrong about before.
People with cancer are, wait for it. People. They do not like you going 'ahhhh that's terrible, oh i feel so sorry for you and pat them on the head. They do not like you saying 'are you ok', every 30 minutes. I have learnt to treat people with exactly the same manner as when they didn't have it. Patronising is not good, though i still want to give them all a big cuddle.
I have so much admiration for all the people i know living with it. They seem to handle it all differently in their own way. Some have incredible 'acceptance and faith in a higher power about it, some battle and take it on like it's a challenge, some people use it as a motivating tool to do the things in their life they've always wanted to do. Some use it as a total change in attitude to life, my mums friend for instance had it in the 80's and lives life to the full, holidays, fun, social. She's an up person anyway but i am so full of admiration.
I feel a fraud for writing a little about it but a friend told me last night her mum has it again and i got pissed off. Fucking cancer i thought. Fucking bastard bollocking cancer. Fucking wanker cancer. It made me angry. and there's sod all i can do about it.
gggrrrrrr
xx
Where were you 11 years ago today? Shocking wasn't it? 9/11. You looked on with a disbelief and mild panic. A true world event where everyone remembers where they were. I was in Tooting Broadway snooker club at the time, so a bunker of sorts plus I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be a number 1 target for terrorists.
I was 1 month sober, off my head, angry, confused, self consumed. People shared about it in meetings for ages afterwards which pissed me off. You know the ones claiming the grief like it was their own. Even though they had no involvement. My heart and thoughts of course goes out to anyone who lost friends or family in the disaster, but for me i have to confess i was numb to it. It was the other side of the world, i didn't know anyone, wasn't directly involved, it was on TV and whilst on a human level i was shocked, it didn't truly affect me.
Seems mad to think it was 10 years ago though. Time does genuinely seem to get quicker as you get older, which is another 'old' cliche thing to say. I really am over 40 now.
TV is full of documentaries of it and when you watch it is still hard to take it in.
That Advert
I keep getting people recognising me from the advert. I popped into my local sex shop today, just to have a little look at the video section, to see if all was in order. The bloke behind the counter said 'sorry to be personal (not the best thing to say in a sex shop) but were you in a Tesco advert recently?' Recognised in a sex shop now. I've truly made it. 'Yes i replied', and left the shop soon after.
The funniest thing about that shop though, is that my ex girlfriend genuinely thought 'Private Shop' was for espionage, private detectives selling surveillance equipment etc. This was so sweet and funny and i felt heartbroken when i had to break it to her that it was indeed a sex shop selling double dildos, arab straps and 'Anal invasion 6'.
F****g Cancer
I know so many people who have cancer. At least 4 people of various ages. It troubles me. Both my grandparents died of it at the ages of 82 and 97, so i suppose in my head i equated cancer with age. That's nonsense and a myth that has been exposed to be untrue. I'm learning all the time.
I have friends who have got it. Friends who have had it. Friends in remission. Friends who live with it. Friends who's parents have it. I mean when you start to look around it really is everywhere and a huge health problem.
I know very little about it so i cannot begin to write about the subject and I'm also worried that people with it may think 'who the hell are you to write about cancer I'm the one with it'.
I write about alcoholism and the effects of it alot, because that is my personal experience throughout my life and feel passionate about it. Although my lovely Nan and Gramps died from Cancer i don't have the same level of emotional connection, anger, passion about the disease. It's because of their age right?
Well true but they were still flesh and blood, family, loved ones. They still suffered horribly from it. They still had to endure it no matter what age. It's just at that age it's rarely treatable and becomes the reason for their passing. Not a nice way but one that you feel has some kind of 'natural order'.
But what of people my age? or 50? What of people who are younger? Kids for goodness sake. I am so ignorant of Cancer i thought you got it because you drank, smoked, ate shit, lived badly and induced it yourself. There is no doubt that is true but so many more seem pre destined to get it. They are just 'unlucky'.
But why? Is it genetic? is it DNA? Is it just bad luck? God knows an i suppose it's a waste of time trying to find the answer 'why'. The true question is 'what'. What to do about it.
Cancer to me is just a dreadful word. You invariably think the worst. Myth number 2 i have also learnt i was wrong.It's not the worst, the end. Yes there are stages of it. Yes it can be terminal but in the same way as alcoholism i guess there are stages and if it's spotted early and treated then it is an illness that can be either lived with or 'beaten'.
And how do i treat people with cancer? Just like when someone suffers a death what do you say? Myth number 3 i have recently learnt and was wrong about before.
People with cancer are, wait for it. People. They do not like you going 'ahhhh that's terrible, oh i feel so sorry for you and pat them on the head. They do not like you saying 'are you ok', every 30 minutes. I have learnt to treat people with exactly the same manner as when they didn't have it. Patronising is not good, though i still want to give them all a big cuddle.
I have so much admiration for all the people i know living with it. They seem to handle it all differently in their own way. Some have incredible 'acceptance and faith in a higher power about it, some battle and take it on like it's a challenge, some people use it as a motivating tool to do the things in their life they've always wanted to do. Some use it as a total change in attitude to life, my mums friend for instance had it in the 80's and lives life to the full, holidays, fun, social. She's an up person anyway but i am so full of admiration.
I feel a fraud for writing a little about it but a friend told me last night her mum has it again and i got pissed off. Fucking cancer i thought. Fucking bastard bollocking cancer. Fucking wanker cancer. It made me angry. and there's sod all i can do about it.
gggrrrrrr
xx
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Day 241 - Monday 10th September - Back to Reality
Oh fuck me no. It's that thing we all hate. That thing we try to avoid at all costs. That thing that makes life so unbelievably dull. Yes it's reality people. With a capital R. Bugger, tits, wank and double tits. It's cloudy, the sun has gone. Autumn is here, the kids are back at school, the party is most definately over. Reality bites. Monday morning. Triple tits, but i'm still buzzing.
I woke with a slight hint of chirp about me. Not even the soul destroying seminar on 'how to get back into work' at the Job Centre Plus could knock it this morning. Why do they call them Job Centre Plus? I mean it's a cross between a Jeremy Kyle set and Sports Direct, How pikey must a normal Job Centre be? If the 'Plus' is the luxury centre then the normal one must be like Centreparks on Tramadol. Scary.
The seminar was very helpful though, pointing out useful tips like 'get a CV' and 'be available to work' and 'try to have an email address that's not rude'. So pleased i attended.
There were 12 of us, 6 Indians more interested in the contents of their carrier bags. 4 people just looked like they couldn't wait for the bookies to open and then me and another bloke who were clearly above all this and doing our best to retain some semblance of pride.
It was of course a charade to tick a box, though to a man i know we were all thinking 'just give us our money and let us fuck off'. By the looks of it around 85% of the people had no intention of working nor did they want to and i include the Job Centre staff in that.
It's an odd place and conveniently the Job Centre Plus in Hounslow is wedged in between a Yates Wine Lodge and Betfair bookies. That's Just teasing? They may aswell set up a direct debit for people's JSA straight into those two gaffs. Cut out the middle man. The Government and you the tax payer are effectively funding Yates and Betfair. I'd have a word if i was you.
Then i actually had to do some work from home, go to the gym for a hard ass workout and then to train my lovely Fleur over in Borough. Finally i rounded off the day with a superb meeting in Rooting Tooting, followed by a curry with a couple of pals. Decent day, but where does the time go? How can anyone possibly fit in a full time job? Oh yes that's why I'm signing on.
Three things made me chuckle today.
1 - I saw the video of Pub Idle. Very funny, it made me laugh
2 - Apparently people were sharing about it in a meeting, which means it must have been a good party.
3 - I also heard that a woman who came along who i have never met or know, copped off with the random bloke who just lurked about all night dressed as a bus driver who i'd never met or knew. I actually thought he was a parking warden and wondered who he was, turns out he was a random bloke called Dave, who was a tour bus driver who popped in the boozer for a quiet pint after work at 5pm, thought 'fuck me this band and party looks fun', and ended staying all night. Nobody knew who he was and he ended up copping off with a woman who nobody knew who she was. Perfect! Better than X Factor.
See Pub Idle does that. Who knows if they get hitched we may all get invited and recreate the evening all over again. I love it. It's like something from Viz and I'm so pleased Random bloke was called Dave. Any other name just wouldn't have done.
So here's to random bloke and random woman. Kind of sweet isn't it? Met at a pub party pissed up with a man in a babygrow suit, a skinny bloke in an Elvis jumpsuit and a collection of drunk people dressed as pop stars. There's only one way that relationship's going....Yates Wine Lodge. Bring it on people!
xx
Monday, September 10, 2012
Day 240 - Sunday 9th September - Day After the Night Before
Woke up to Another beautiful sunny day. It's the day after the Night before.
It's the end of the Paralympics (havent been into it like the 'Lympics), the end of the week long birthday celebrations, the day after the night before. It's definately got that 'last day of summer' feel to it.
I woke up buzzing. Lots of adrenaline. I've never been married but i'm sure your wedding day must be pretty similar. You are centre of attention and everyone comes to show love and then you party, have a great time and you never want it to end. Perfect for an alkie as it's all about You!
Is it possible to introduce a 40th birthday 'honeymoon', so you don't 'come down' after the the celeb rations but go away for 2 to 3.......months to wind down. Sounds good to me.
I had such a good time and of course you don't want it to end. It still continues to some degree as you get lots of messages of thanks & people post pictures up of the night. This is brilliant to self obsessed self centred vein bastards like me, loads of them had ME in them. And i know this is a real twattish thing to say but i reckon i look pretty good in the jumpsuit. Ridiculous of course, but good.
You can glory in the party from other people's eyes and relive it again with all the pictures, stories, videos. Thats where Facebook and social networking comes into it's own. Instead of waiting 2 days for some grainy pics from Pronta Print where you invariably always have red eye, you can pore through 100's of pics almost immediately.
Unfortunately (for me) nights like that are quickly forgotten as life moves on, but not to you. It's a bit like the marathon in that respect, where you want to keep talking about it long after people have forgotten. Bringing it up in conversation at any opportunity....boring people to death. There is usually a 12 hour 'reminiscing' period before time moves on. 'You know on Saturday.......YES' .'Did you see me dressed as.......YES'.....Move on.
I did have time though to go and check out my awesome cake from Sue and the gang. Incredible work of art with edible pictures of my life dotted around it and an Elvis on top. That truly is self obsession if you get to eat yourself on a cake (sounds pervy again i know) Then i laid all my cards and presents out. I havent had as many since i was a kid. Humbled.
I mean how lucky am i that i actually got 2 cakes. The other one Sarah got for me was truly outstanding. A totally delicious light sponge, white chocolate and fresh cream massive cake. It was devoured by everyone last night. I should imagine if sex was put into food form, that cake would be it. Orgasmic. It was bigger than Elvis in his final days. A collosal thing of pure beauty and class. it tasted amazing and my God 2 unbelievable cakes. A bulimics dream. Thank you Sarah and Sue (and gang)
There's me cutting the monster with Cher and Amy posing with big cheesey grins. Superb.
The weather was stunning and it had that last day of Summer vibe, i've noticed it getting darker in the evenings but i'm not wanting to think about the onslaught of winter just yet. The sun is shining, the weather is sweet, it makes me want to move my dancing feet. Happy today. Buzzing. Feeling positive about the future. Feeling good. How could i not after last night? Happy times.
One slightly amusing epidosde today. I went to the local park to do a work out. I'm big into cross training in the park at the moment. 100m sprints in between pull ups, chin ups, abs, press ups, burpees. Bastard killer 25 min workout.
Anyway i'm sweating up as i like doing it when the Sun is out at it's hottest & I'm walking back home, with my top off, sweat dripping, OK i'm looking slightly 'Mr September,' a bit gay, when the biggest hardest bloke with tattos everywhere comes riding past me on a bike. His face is proper hard and he's looking at me. He's got the sort of look which is usually a pre curser to eating the head off a hamster or something. I'm expecting the worst here.
£10 says he's going to shout some abuse or take the piss, as is usually the case in Isleworth. Then In a thick Irish accent as he whizzed past he shouted, 'nice body'. Stunned, all i could mumble was 'thanks'. I genuinely didn't see that one coming.
Maybe i shouldn't be quite so judgmental in my 40's?
xx
It's the end of the Paralympics (havent been into it like the 'Lympics), the end of the week long birthday celebrations, the day after the night before. It's definately got that 'last day of summer' feel to it.
I woke up buzzing. Lots of adrenaline. I've never been married but i'm sure your wedding day must be pretty similar. You are centre of attention and everyone comes to show love and then you party, have a great time and you never want it to end. Perfect for an alkie as it's all about You!
Is it possible to introduce a 40th birthday 'honeymoon', so you don't 'come down' after the the celeb rations but go away for 2 to 3.......months to wind down. Sounds good to me.
I had such a good time and of course you don't want it to end. It still continues to some degree as you get lots of messages of thanks & people post pictures up of the night. This is brilliant to self obsessed self centred vein bastards like me, loads of them had ME in them. And i know this is a real twattish thing to say but i reckon i look pretty good in the jumpsuit. Ridiculous of course, but good.
You can glory in the party from other people's eyes and relive it again with all the pictures, stories, videos. Thats where Facebook and social networking comes into it's own. Instead of waiting 2 days for some grainy pics from Pronta Print where you invariably always have red eye, you can pore through 100's of pics almost immediately.
Unfortunately (for me) nights like that are quickly forgotten as life moves on, but not to you. It's a bit like the marathon in that respect, where you want to keep talking about it long after people have forgotten. Bringing it up in conversation at any opportunity....boring people to death. There is usually a 12 hour 'reminiscing' period before time moves on. 'You know on Saturday.......YES' .'Did you see me dressed as.......YES'.....Move on.
I did have time though to go and check out my awesome cake from Sue and the gang. Incredible work of art with edible pictures of my life dotted around it and an Elvis on top. That truly is self obsession if you get to eat yourself on a cake (sounds pervy again i know) Then i laid all my cards and presents out. I havent had as many since i was a kid. Humbled.
I mean how lucky am i that i actually got 2 cakes. The other one Sarah got for me was truly outstanding. A totally delicious light sponge, white chocolate and fresh cream massive cake. It was devoured by everyone last night. I should imagine if sex was put into food form, that cake would be it. Orgasmic. It was bigger than Elvis in his final days. A collosal thing of pure beauty and class. it tasted amazing and my God 2 unbelievable cakes. A bulimics dream. Thank you Sarah and Sue (and gang)
There's me cutting the monster with Cher and Amy posing with big cheesey grins. Superb.
The weather was stunning and it had that last day of Summer vibe, i've noticed it getting darker in the evenings but i'm not wanting to think about the onslaught of winter just yet. The sun is shining, the weather is sweet, it makes me want to move my dancing feet. Happy today. Buzzing. Feeling positive about the future. Feeling good. How could i not after last night? Happy times.
One slightly amusing epidosde today. I went to the local park to do a work out. I'm big into cross training in the park at the moment. 100m sprints in between pull ups, chin ups, abs, press ups, burpees. Bastard killer 25 min workout.
Anyway i'm sweating up as i like doing it when the Sun is out at it's hottest & I'm walking back home, with my top off, sweat dripping, OK i'm looking slightly 'Mr September,' a bit gay, when the biggest hardest bloke with tattos everywhere comes riding past me on a bike. His face is proper hard and he's looking at me. He's got the sort of look which is usually a pre curser to eating the head off a hamster or something. I'm expecting the worst here.
£10 says he's going to shout some abuse or take the piss, as is usually the case in Isleworth. Then In a thick Irish accent as he whizzed past he shouted, 'nice body'. Stunned, all i could mumble was 'thanks'. I genuinely didn't see that one coming.
Maybe i shouldn't be quite so judgmental in my 40's?
xx
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Day 239 - Sat 8th Sep - PUB IDLE 2012
Pub Idle 3 - 2012
Today's blog is pretty long readers but i wanted to try and mention everyone who contributed.
I really don't know where to start. The most amazing night. Incredible turn out. Friends, family, fellowship. I am genuinely humbled, truly grateful and very emotional by how many quality people i have in my life. It really was a great party, lots of fun and full of love and laughter. What more can you really ask for? Thank you everyone who came, participated, watched, danced, sang, gave me gifts, cards and it is a moment i will cherish. Just a shame i can't have nights like that at least 5 times a week!
I never imagined turning 40 would be so much fun. i guess it is a landmark birthday and one to make a fuss of but never in my wildest dreams could i imagine how many people (real people, proper people) would come and enjoy. A lovely life moment and one to savour i think. And a fucking good party!
I actually woke up in fear. Fear of singing. Fear of making a tool of myself. Fear of nobody showing. Fear of everything. I seem to be a bit of a worrier, usually for no reason. I think it's in my DNA
I wasted the morning going around Tooting market looking for more Elvis stuff, then i sang in the car for couple of hours in traffic, practicing. I actually started shaking with nerves like i had Parkinson's. Maybe i should have sang 'All Shook up' instead of 'Burning Love'?
I did pick up my Elvis suit though from the wonderful Yas. Fuck me how good a job has that girl done? Tailored it so that it is skin tight and it looks totally superb. Well chuffed. I will feel and look the part. £34 from Amazon, £10 white slip ons from Hounslow and £3 shades from a joke shop. Elvis was done for under a nifty. Bonus.
I got home at lunchtime and decided a good 55 minute run along the Thames would help, i sweated like Elvis on the khazi after a Lamb Bhuna, listened to the King on the Ipod and generally relaxed. That is why running is good. It gives me open space, a chance to relax my mind and have a good sweat. Like I'm purging myself of the crappy self induced thinking.
I then sat in the sun and read the paper. I decided i needed to rekindle the Dickinson tan after 5 days back home ready for tonight. I mean if you're wearing a white jumpsuit you have to go mahogany skinned right? Well i do anyway.
Then it was time to 'Elvis' up. Up the quiff went, hair spraying it so that it would remain fixed even in a Tsunami. I had tasked Sarah and mini to do my hair. So they sprayed it pitch black with what looked suspiciously like the stuff you spray on your bumper to hide scratches. Hope it comes off. Then my eyebrows were blackened up with mascara. When i looked in the mirror i nearly died. Who was it looking back at me? A rapist?
Wasn't sure if it was Elvis or Sly Stallone after plastic surgery & 2 strokes staring back at me. Scary! I know what people feel like after bad cosmetic surgery now. Weird. It just wasn't me. Though i guess thats the idea.
Then it was time to hit the pub. The Hurlingham pub & Dining room. The place i do comedy. The only venue to have really, as i it's got a cool 'living room' vibe. i had the front of the pub packed with sofas so people could chill, talk and eat, then the 'dining room', where we had sofas and stools and coffee tables, where the band and stage would be and a massive projector screen to play the movie and embarrassing pics of me on a CD from stages of my life put together by my magnificent Mum. Sweet.
It was all set. Everything was ready. The band were set up, a professional rig, they were loud, the venue was decked out, we were ready to roll.
I told people to arrive from 8 to 8.30pm and 8.20pm there were 9 people. 8 from the band and me. Worried.
It was at this point i decided not to be worried and to let go and enjoy myself. I needn't have worried.
What followed over the next few hours was nothing short of epic. Here's what happened from my eyes;
First to arrive my Mum and John, dressed as my Personal Trainers, complete with 'team Nick' sown on their backs, cigarettes poking out of their headbands and a 'survival kit' including scotch eggs and gum. Superb.
Then it was Kerry Palin and boyfriend. All the way from Derbyshire. Legends. Her man hates fancy dress and it was the first time he did it. Coming as The firestarter, Keith Flint. he totally dominated and was exactly the reason we created Pub Idle, He was sold on it and had a top time. I bet he does fancy dress all the time now. We've turned him. Pub Idle does that.
Then the flow started, all my old mates headed in, Elliot Matthews as a rampantly homosexual Jimmy Saville minus wig. Dan Smith superbly dressed as Robin in the spirit of randomness, Ben Keane as Brian Ferry or was that Manuel? Matt Cooper as a brilliant Simon Cowell complete with trousers circling his ears. His Missus Treena a lovely Adele, looking beautiful.
Then we had my Amy Winehouse x2, Madonna, Suzy Sue, Tina Turner, Annie Lennox, Cher, Bob Marley.
My lovely oldest girly pals, Sue, Kate, Ciara and Mandy came as the Beatles complete with 60's mop tops and suits. Brilliant. Kate was 9 months pregnant though looked much better than the real McArtney.
Sarah came as Cher, looking slinky and her lovely daughter Phoebe as Avril Laverne. Her 1st proper fancy dress party and she had laid out her outfit for days in excitement. Splendid!
My bro Rob, Elaine and my lovely 11 year old niece Jade drove all the way down from Liverpool to be there. Touching.
My other lovely niece, Nadia came as Amy Winehouse and got stuck into the Pink Champagne and Tequila. Well in character.
TV Burge came as Louis Walsh, Karl Matthews as baby Gagga. Sweating up like Gary Glitter at a nursery. Funny.
Yasmin, creator extraordinaire of the Elvis suit came in a leopard print catsuit as rapper Nick Minaj. Smoking! Bringing her gang of Amy, Chery Cole, Jimi Hendrix, Annie Lennox. Go girls!
My godmother Jan and her man Mark joined in too, but the outstanding couple and eventual winners of best dressed were the magnificent Donna and Paul who came as The Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Genius and very very funny. If Carlsberg did party guests.......
Lots of my fellowship friends also turned up. It was great to see everyone and a fab mix. I got some magnificent presents, lots of cards and felt deeply touched. (sounds pervy but you know what i mean)
The band started at 9pm and they were totally awesome just as i knew they'd be, The room was full, atmosphere buzzing and everyone was asking why is Elvis dressed in skinny jeans, flip flops and leather jacket? I had a cunning plan.
TV Burge had made the 2 movies we showed at Pub Idle 2 and 3 in 2003 and 2004. Rocky and Sabotage. They are awesome and i thought it was selfish for him and Cooper to go off get married and have children so they have no time to make new films. Bang out of order if you ask me, so the plan was to show Sabotage on the big screen to open Pub idle 2012.
I introduced the film, then i had 6 minutes to hot foot it upstairs to slip on the jumpsuit and slide down the back stairs into the garden and wait for the band to kick into Burning Love at the end of the film ready for me to make my big entrance.
Now jumpsuits are not for everyone. Elvis wore one for the last 8 years of his performances even when he became fatter than Pavaroti, so it became something of a joke. a cliche. If you're going as Elvis you hire an oversize jumpsuit, bang on the shades and curl your lip and you're Elvis.
Now this may not be a surprise to anyone but i actually like a jumpsuit and when he started wearing them in 1969 and 70 when he was in shape and lets face it beautiful. It looked class man. Not so much when you're weighing in at 23 stone and in need of a girdle and nappy. But certainly when you;'re in shape.
I maybe 40 but i'm in decent shape so what better thing to do than slip into a skin tight jumpsuit and strut around like a peacock ponce? Fuck it, it's not as if i can wear it to work or Asda is it? Though i may go and sign on in it on Monday. 'And what work are you looking for Mr Evans?' 'Well it's kind of specialist really'.
Something weird happens when you slip on a jumpsuit. You basically turn into a total beast. You cease to be you and can perform all kinds of crazy moves, poses and groin thrusts you just couldn't do in your joggers. I should imagine a catsuit would have the same effect on a woman. Either that or the young lead singer of The Carnaby's. I saw all the girls swooning.
I waited in the garden. Nervous but excited. I'm not a singer but i would have loved to be and this was my chance to indulge myself on my birthday and deliver a couple of Elvis songs.
The band kicked off, in i went, everyone went nuts, i posed like a proper ponce i am and launched straight into Burning Love. For someone who doesn't really sing i nailed it and had a great time. It was real fun.
Then it was Suspicious Minds and i just about got through that and Pub Idle 2012 was underway. Everyone was getting into it. I think some people who turned up hating fancy dress and karaoke were a bit surprised as it was a proper tongue in cheek laugh but decent entertainment.
Then we had the competition, The judges with Cooper as Simon Cowell was a legend, Very funny playing the bastard bad guy v well. Burge as Louis Walsh also covered himself in glory and provided some great lines and even slipped into an abstract Father Ted at the drop of a hat and Karl Matthews as baby Gagga was just plain weird. We like that at Pub Idle.
Then the acts. Gambers pulled off a superb 'Thats Entertainment' as the Modfather, Sue and the girls murdered 'Twist & Shout' as the Fab 4 but provided top entertainment, Nadia did a great 'Valerie' as Amy though she was so pissed she forgot to actually sing into the mic. Then the beast, the big man Stu brought it home with 'paranoid' by Ozzie Osbourne.
The crowd voted and straight from compering a music festival to 5,000 people in the day, Stu won with a magnificent Ozzie. What a legend. Stuart Carter was crowned Pub Idle 2012, winning a trophy, champagne and packet of nuts. Legend.
Then the band cracked on and did a 90 min kick ass set of proper old school rock and funk. They were superb and everyone had a dam good time. Lots of dancing, merriment and i pulled some shapes that hadn't even been invented yet. A Jumpsuit certainly helps you cut loose on the dance floor.
They finished at 11.30pm and you could tell it was a sober persons party because it pretty much got to midnight and most people drifted off. No matter i was buzzing and I'm pretty sure everyone had a good night. Of course the few committed drinkers stayed on jumping around until we were all kicked out at 1.30am. I could have gone on all night. i was like Elvis on Viagra. Man was i 'up'.
Pub Idle is not just a party it's a philosophy. Not to take yourself too seriously, provide quality entertainment, fun, good music and dry roasted peanuts. It's about getting in the spirit of something and leave people buzzing and leaving a party wanting more and on a real 'up'. It's about love, fun, friendship and the pub. I think that was achieved tonight.
I obviously stayed up until 5 as i was completely wired but reflecting it was a fab party and there was alot of love and fun there. A Beautiful evening. i guess sometimes I'm guilty of being self obsessed down on myself and shut love off. I find it hard to accept it sometimes and i isolate myself physically and emotionally.
But as tonight showed me i have truly awesome friends and am well loved by lots of people. It is most definately time i started listening to that and not the negative. Pub Idle 2012 totally rocked as did everyone who took part. You are special people, weird that if i put 'needs' in that sentence it becomes insulting. I love the English language and construction of sentences.
So that's it - The Trilogy of 40th celebrations is over. It's done. Reality beckons. My god what a scary thought, i think i need to start planning Pub Idle 5 - 2013. I know who I'm coming as. Do you?
xx
Today's blog is pretty long readers but i wanted to try and mention everyone who contributed.
I really don't know where to start. The most amazing night. Incredible turn out. Friends, family, fellowship. I am genuinely humbled, truly grateful and very emotional by how many quality people i have in my life. It really was a great party, lots of fun and full of love and laughter. What more can you really ask for? Thank you everyone who came, participated, watched, danced, sang, gave me gifts, cards and it is a moment i will cherish. Just a shame i can't have nights like that at least 5 times a week!
I never imagined turning 40 would be so much fun. i guess it is a landmark birthday and one to make a fuss of but never in my wildest dreams could i imagine how many people (real people, proper people) would come and enjoy. A lovely life moment and one to savour i think. And a fucking good party!
I actually woke up in fear. Fear of singing. Fear of making a tool of myself. Fear of nobody showing. Fear of everything. I seem to be a bit of a worrier, usually for no reason. I think it's in my DNA
I wasted the morning going around Tooting market looking for more Elvis stuff, then i sang in the car for couple of hours in traffic, practicing. I actually started shaking with nerves like i had Parkinson's. Maybe i should have sang 'All Shook up' instead of 'Burning Love'?
I did pick up my Elvis suit though from the wonderful Yas. Fuck me how good a job has that girl done? Tailored it so that it is skin tight and it looks totally superb. Well chuffed. I will feel and look the part. £34 from Amazon, £10 white slip ons from Hounslow and £3 shades from a joke shop. Elvis was done for under a nifty. Bonus.
I got home at lunchtime and decided a good 55 minute run along the Thames would help, i sweated like Elvis on the khazi after a Lamb Bhuna, listened to the King on the Ipod and generally relaxed. That is why running is good. It gives me open space, a chance to relax my mind and have a good sweat. Like I'm purging myself of the crappy self induced thinking.
I then sat in the sun and read the paper. I decided i needed to rekindle the Dickinson tan after 5 days back home ready for tonight. I mean if you're wearing a white jumpsuit you have to go mahogany skinned right? Well i do anyway.
Then it was time to 'Elvis' up. Up the quiff went, hair spraying it so that it would remain fixed even in a Tsunami. I had tasked Sarah and mini to do my hair. So they sprayed it pitch black with what looked suspiciously like the stuff you spray on your bumper to hide scratches. Hope it comes off. Then my eyebrows were blackened up with mascara. When i looked in the mirror i nearly died. Who was it looking back at me? A rapist?
Wasn't sure if it was Elvis or Sly Stallone after plastic surgery & 2 strokes staring back at me. Scary! I know what people feel like after bad cosmetic surgery now. Weird. It just wasn't me. Though i guess thats the idea.
Then it was time to hit the pub. The Hurlingham pub & Dining room. The place i do comedy. The only venue to have really, as i it's got a cool 'living room' vibe. i had the front of the pub packed with sofas so people could chill, talk and eat, then the 'dining room', where we had sofas and stools and coffee tables, where the band and stage would be and a massive projector screen to play the movie and embarrassing pics of me on a CD from stages of my life put together by my magnificent Mum. Sweet.
It was all set. Everything was ready. The band were set up, a professional rig, they were loud, the venue was decked out, we were ready to roll.
I told people to arrive from 8 to 8.30pm and 8.20pm there were 9 people. 8 from the band and me. Worried.
It was at this point i decided not to be worried and to let go and enjoy myself. I needn't have worried.
What followed over the next few hours was nothing short of epic. Here's what happened from my eyes;
First to arrive my Mum and John, dressed as my Personal Trainers, complete with 'team Nick' sown on their backs, cigarettes poking out of their headbands and a 'survival kit' including scotch eggs and gum. Superb.
Then it was Kerry Palin and boyfriend. All the way from Derbyshire. Legends. Her man hates fancy dress and it was the first time he did it. Coming as The firestarter, Keith Flint. he totally dominated and was exactly the reason we created Pub Idle, He was sold on it and had a top time. I bet he does fancy dress all the time now. We've turned him. Pub Idle does that.
Then the flow started, all my old mates headed in, Elliot Matthews as a rampantly homosexual Jimmy Saville minus wig. Dan Smith superbly dressed as Robin in the spirit of randomness, Ben Keane as Brian Ferry or was that Manuel? Matt Cooper as a brilliant Simon Cowell complete with trousers circling his ears. His Missus Treena a lovely Adele, looking beautiful.
Then we had my Amy Winehouse x2, Madonna, Suzy Sue, Tina Turner, Annie Lennox, Cher, Bob Marley.
My lovely oldest girly pals, Sue, Kate, Ciara and Mandy came as the Beatles complete with 60's mop tops and suits. Brilliant. Kate was 9 months pregnant though looked much better than the real McArtney.
Sarah came as Cher, looking slinky and her lovely daughter Phoebe as Avril Laverne. Her 1st proper fancy dress party and she had laid out her outfit for days in excitement. Splendid!
My bro Rob, Elaine and my lovely 11 year old niece Jade drove all the way down from Liverpool to be there. Touching.
My other lovely niece, Nadia came as Amy Winehouse and got stuck into the Pink Champagne and Tequila. Well in character.
TV Burge came as Louis Walsh, Karl Matthews as baby Gagga. Sweating up like Gary Glitter at a nursery. Funny.
Yasmin, creator extraordinaire of the Elvis suit came in a leopard print catsuit as rapper Nick Minaj. Smoking! Bringing her gang of Amy, Chery Cole, Jimi Hendrix, Annie Lennox. Go girls!
My godmother Jan and her man Mark joined in too, but the outstanding couple and eventual winners of best dressed were the magnificent Donna and Paul who came as The Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Genius and very very funny. If Carlsberg did party guests.......
Lots of my fellowship friends also turned up. It was great to see everyone and a fab mix. I got some magnificent presents, lots of cards and felt deeply touched. (sounds pervy but you know what i mean)
The band started at 9pm and they were totally awesome just as i knew they'd be, The room was full, atmosphere buzzing and everyone was asking why is Elvis dressed in skinny jeans, flip flops and leather jacket? I had a cunning plan.
TV Burge had made the 2 movies we showed at Pub Idle 2 and 3 in 2003 and 2004. Rocky and Sabotage. They are awesome and i thought it was selfish for him and Cooper to go off get married and have children so they have no time to make new films. Bang out of order if you ask me, so the plan was to show Sabotage on the big screen to open Pub idle 2012.
I introduced the film, then i had 6 minutes to hot foot it upstairs to slip on the jumpsuit and slide down the back stairs into the garden and wait for the band to kick into Burning Love at the end of the film ready for me to make my big entrance.
Now jumpsuits are not for everyone. Elvis wore one for the last 8 years of his performances even when he became fatter than Pavaroti, so it became something of a joke. a cliche. If you're going as Elvis you hire an oversize jumpsuit, bang on the shades and curl your lip and you're Elvis.
Now this may not be a surprise to anyone but i actually like a jumpsuit and when he started wearing them in 1969 and 70 when he was in shape and lets face it beautiful. It looked class man. Not so much when you're weighing in at 23 stone and in need of a girdle and nappy. But certainly when you;'re in shape.
I maybe 40 but i'm in decent shape so what better thing to do than slip into a skin tight jumpsuit and strut around like a peacock ponce? Fuck it, it's not as if i can wear it to work or Asda is it? Though i may go and sign on in it on Monday. 'And what work are you looking for Mr Evans?' 'Well it's kind of specialist really'.
Something weird happens when you slip on a jumpsuit. You basically turn into a total beast. You cease to be you and can perform all kinds of crazy moves, poses and groin thrusts you just couldn't do in your joggers. I should imagine a catsuit would have the same effect on a woman. Either that or the young lead singer of The Carnaby's. I saw all the girls swooning.
I waited in the garden. Nervous but excited. I'm not a singer but i would have loved to be and this was my chance to indulge myself on my birthday and deliver a couple of Elvis songs.
The band kicked off, in i went, everyone went nuts, i posed like a proper ponce i am and launched straight into Burning Love. For someone who doesn't really sing i nailed it and had a great time. It was real fun.
Then it was Suspicious Minds and i just about got through that and Pub Idle 2012 was underway. Everyone was getting into it. I think some people who turned up hating fancy dress and karaoke were a bit surprised as it was a proper tongue in cheek laugh but decent entertainment.
Then we had the competition, The judges with Cooper as Simon Cowell was a legend, Very funny playing the bastard bad guy v well. Burge as Louis Walsh also covered himself in glory and provided some great lines and even slipped into an abstract Father Ted at the drop of a hat and Karl Matthews as baby Gagga was just plain weird. We like that at Pub Idle.
Then the acts. Gambers pulled off a superb 'Thats Entertainment' as the Modfather, Sue and the girls murdered 'Twist & Shout' as the Fab 4 but provided top entertainment, Nadia did a great 'Valerie' as Amy though she was so pissed she forgot to actually sing into the mic. Then the beast, the big man Stu brought it home with 'paranoid' by Ozzie Osbourne.
The crowd voted and straight from compering a music festival to 5,000 people in the day, Stu won with a magnificent Ozzie. What a legend. Stuart Carter was crowned Pub Idle 2012, winning a trophy, champagne and packet of nuts. Legend.
Then the band cracked on and did a 90 min kick ass set of proper old school rock and funk. They were superb and everyone had a dam good time. Lots of dancing, merriment and i pulled some shapes that hadn't even been invented yet. A Jumpsuit certainly helps you cut loose on the dance floor.
They finished at 11.30pm and you could tell it was a sober persons party because it pretty much got to midnight and most people drifted off. No matter i was buzzing and I'm pretty sure everyone had a good night. Of course the few committed drinkers stayed on jumping around until we were all kicked out at 1.30am. I could have gone on all night. i was like Elvis on Viagra. Man was i 'up'.
Pub Idle is not just a party it's a philosophy. Not to take yourself too seriously, provide quality entertainment, fun, good music and dry roasted peanuts. It's about getting in the spirit of something and leave people buzzing and leaving a party wanting more and on a real 'up'. It's about love, fun, friendship and the pub. I think that was achieved tonight.
I obviously stayed up until 5 as i was completely wired but reflecting it was a fab party and there was alot of love and fun there. A Beautiful evening. i guess sometimes I'm guilty of being self obsessed down on myself and shut love off. I find it hard to accept it sometimes and i isolate myself physically and emotionally.
But as tonight showed me i have truly awesome friends and am well loved by lots of people. It is most definately time i started listening to that and not the negative. Pub Idle 2012 totally rocked as did everyone who took part. You are special people, weird that if i put 'needs' in that sentence it becomes insulting. I love the English language and construction of sentences.
So that's it - The Trilogy of 40th celebrations is over. It's done. Reality beckons. My god what a scary thought, i think i need to start planning Pub Idle 5 - 2013. I know who I'm coming as. Do you?
Thank you very much. Elvis has left the building
xx
Day 238 - Friday 7th September - 2 Down 1 to Go
Not alot of sleep. Wired after comedy. Woke feeling tired, coughing loads due to ultra smoking last night, nothing a few silk cuts and cups of tea won't sort out though,
There are several modes of smoking. Normal casual smoking, heavy smoking, social smoking whilst on the piss and then ultra smoking for times of stress and worry. You know the sort, When you have barely put one out and are already half way through another. That's where i was last night. Perfect for a long distance endurance athlete.
I can't believe it. I've got to sodding work today. How cheeky? It's my birthday week. Surely everything should halt for 2 weeks. Selfish bastards.
To be fair though i only spent 3 hours working and then did a quick exit. Then it was to an OAP's gaff to essentially switch on a computer, though i made it sound far more technical to her to win me some browny points.
Then i hunted for some white footwear for Elvis tomorrow night. I want cheap, nasty white ankle boots. The sort of bling footwear only bought from those nasty Nigerian bad taste loud suits and clothes shops. There is a dearth of them in SW London, usually only on Oxford Street, but i thought Hounslow High Street would come up trumps.
For anyone who hasn't been to Hounslow High Street, it's effectively like a street made up entirely of Jeremy Kyle guests. It's harsh. The most luxurious shop is Argos. I'm not saying it's rough but even Wilkinsons had to shut down as it's too dear.
I did find suitable white slip ons though. Ironically made by 'Top Rank', as they were nasty enough never to be worn other than for an Elvis tribute. There are actual real people who walk around with these things on their feet, though they are usually only found in High Security Psychiatric hospitals
Although i had great intentions to run, gym and do healthy stuff, i was so tired from post Comedy fatigue, i settled in front of the computer and ran through lyrics of Elvis songs, watched endless footage of him in 'Thats The Way it is' from 1970 Vegas show and generally planned Pub Idle for tomorrow. I'm now nervous and worried. More so from signing than anything else, but I'm such a worrier sometimes it dominates my thinking.
I did Richmond meeting in the evening which was groovy and then stayed up far too late researching things i shouldn't have been researching for hours. Early night? Prepare for Pub idle? Get rested and fresh? Nah that would be far too sensible wouldn't it. Thank god I'm wising up in my 40's.
xx
.
There are several modes of smoking. Normal casual smoking, heavy smoking, social smoking whilst on the piss and then ultra smoking for times of stress and worry. You know the sort, When you have barely put one out and are already half way through another. That's where i was last night. Perfect for a long distance endurance athlete.
I can't believe it. I've got to sodding work today. How cheeky? It's my birthday week. Surely everything should halt for 2 weeks. Selfish bastards.
To be fair though i only spent 3 hours working and then did a quick exit. Then it was to an OAP's gaff to essentially switch on a computer, though i made it sound far more technical to her to win me some browny points.
Then i hunted for some white footwear for Elvis tomorrow night. I want cheap, nasty white ankle boots. The sort of bling footwear only bought from those nasty Nigerian bad taste loud suits and clothes shops. There is a dearth of them in SW London, usually only on Oxford Street, but i thought Hounslow High Street would come up trumps.
For anyone who hasn't been to Hounslow High Street, it's effectively like a street made up entirely of Jeremy Kyle guests. It's harsh. The most luxurious shop is Argos. I'm not saying it's rough but even Wilkinsons had to shut down as it's too dear.
I did find suitable white slip ons though. Ironically made by 'Top Rank', as they were nasty enough never to be worn other than for an Elvis tribute. There are actual real people who walk around with these things on their feet, though they are usually only found in High Security Psychiatric hospitals
Although i had great intentions to run, gym and do healthy stuff, i was so tired from post Comedy fatigue, i settled in front of the computer and ran through lyrics of Elvis songs, watched endless footage of him in 'Thats The Way it is' from 1970 Vegas show and generally planned Pub Idle for tomorrow. I'm now nervous and worried. More so from signing than anything else, but I'm such a worrier sometimes it dominates my thinking.
I did Richmond meeting in the evening which was groovy and then stayed up far too late researching things i shouldn't have been researching for hours. Early night? Prepare for Pub idle? Get rested and fresh? Nah that would be far too sensible wouldn't it. Thank god I'm wising up in my 40's.
xx
.
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