The Inside Job : 1st Anniversary of Lillian Probert's death

Remembering my Nan

Today, the 21st June 2013 is the 1st anniversary of my Nan's death. I am in Llanelli with my Mum to mark the occasion. It's not a sad time because her spirit is still in us. She lived until 97 and had her time on the earth. She was ready to leave. It was the right time. She's genuinely at peace. She was remarkable. She was the classic Welsh Matriarch. She was my Nan and today we remember her and all other Nan's out there we so fondly recall (or as she would say 'whatacall').

Here are my memories from the Eulogy I gave at her funeral last year. I'm sure you will recognise some of your Nan in her.

EULOGY TO NAN AT HER FUNERAL FRIDAY 29^th JUNE 2012.

Here is my eulogy to Nan. Or as others know her, Mum, Lil, Lillian, Auntie Lil, Nan Lil, Mrs Probert or Mrs P.

She lived such a long life, and was so well loved by so many. Her Daughter Jan and Son Ken, Her 3 Grandsons& 1 Grandaughter, Her 2 Great grandsons and 2 Great grand daughters, her sister, her nephews, her nieces and so many friends from Llanelli and the community who loved and respected her. We are all here today to pay our respects & celebrate her life.

We are here to share memories of Nan. To honour her life & her spirit. To remember what made her so special to us. They are not just my memories but all of ours. I speak for everyone who loved her.

Margaret Lillian Daniels was Born 13th April 1915. On the Bryn. The 5^th of 10 children. Her father, or Daki, David Daniels was a chauffeur and her mother, or Mamgi, Mary Jane Daniels a maid. She spoke so fondly of her childhood and how it shaped her attitude to life. She would remember how her mother would cook fresh bread, cakes and suppers, clean, keep the house and bring up the children. Big boiling pots, cakes left out to cool. Her father reading the paper. Learning respect, family love and honour. It shaped her life. She was a happy from a young age.

She was a tough character. Angelic but strong. Packed off to work at 14!!!!, (told you she was strong) becoming a housemaid for a Bank Manager in Park Howard, She cried herself to sleep every night but worked there for 6 years. She was a grafter.

It was here she met Edwin Vernon Probert. Not keen at first she played hard to get. He was keen on her so one night he walked her home and bought every Chocolate Bar in the sweet shop to win her over. She always had a sweet tooth.

Later He chose a weekend riding a Norton motorbike over meeting her. She wrote him a letter saying it’s me or the motorbike. They were married for 51 years! He made the right choice!

They were married in Dafen church on 26^th March 1940, Easter Saturday. Their wedding present was a joint of welsh lamb! They moved into Brynmoor Road and so started a beautiful 51 year marriage and a 72 year stay at number 14. She was the oldest member of Dafen church, the longest serving resident of Brynmoor Road. She really was the best.

She lived in Brynmoor Road for 72 years and in that time cooked 296,567 Sunday Roast dinners, 600,966 Rock Cakes and said 'Therewarthen' 3.4million times. She was a star. Everyone loved her.

You couldn’t leave the house without a straining stomach or 7 litres of tea inside you. I never met anyone who loved ‘a nice cup of tea’ as much as her. I think she was responsible for 50% of PG tips sales in Wales.

She was an avid watcher of the news & weather. Lunchtime, early evening and News at ten. Forget BBC news Just ask NanNews. Always up to date and sharp as a knife. I miss my weather bulletins.

She Loved to talk. Sometimes barely drawing breath. But she did get the occasional thing wrong. For instance she felt sorry for those long distance HIV drivers. Would occasionally like a cubicle of chocolate and liked Michael Portaloo on the BBC.

Her house was immaculate as was she. Neighbours remembered her for having the shiniest door knocker in Brynmoor Rd. She was always cleaning the front. Standards you see. Even the parlour (or front room) looked like a showroom, though it was rarely used. I think she was saving it for Terry Griffiths, the home town boy. Or as Nan used to call him ‘Terry’. She always had a soft spot

She used to lower her voice when she talked about neighbours, as if they were listening. Her memory was incredible and she could bamboozle you with her complex knowledge of what was happening in Llanelli. Linking several stories into one long Nan monologue.

She always stuffed money in my hand when i visited, she was a total giver and carer. Hard working, humble and loving, but would never say it. She liked to send cards with footballs or trains on the front even when i was into my 30's. You never grow up in the eyes of Nans.

She would hum and sing when she was going up the stairs in key. Always so happy.

She answered the phone in a posh phone voice ‘Heelllooo’ – oh it’s you Rob

She soft spot for boiled mints and always had a bigger supply than Rowntrees. Humbugs and Butter mints were her favourite. This love of mints made her coin the immortal phrase "Do you want a mint in your mouth?" - As opposed to where Nan? It was a legendary catchphrase.

Her cooking was legendary. Victoria Sandwich sponge, Christmas cake, Bread and Butter Pudding, Ham and Parsley Sauce, Rice Pudding, Welsh Cakes and homemade Chips. Bread and Butter was placed on the table at every meal time. Butter melted in front of the fire. She was proper old school. Always fresh cooking. Never packaged. No microwaves. A big lover of 'Chops'.

Like most Welsh women She was a feeder. Her way of expressing love. But she was relentless.

"Want a sandwich?"
"No thanks Nan, I'm OK"
"Rock Cake?"
"No Nan, I'm stuffed after the Roast Dinner at 11am"
"Have a Breakaway"
"No thanks"
"Blue Ribband?"
"No"
"Have a Kit Kat"
"No Nan, I'm full"
"Biscuit?"
"No"
"Rich Tea, that doesn't count?"
"No thanks Nan"
"Digestive?"
"No"
"Fig roll?"
"No"
"Garibaldi?"
"No Nan, i'm stuffed"
"Ok then, if you're sure"..............
,.......................................
"Crisps then" and so on

When we were children we used to spend summers with her and put on at least a stone. Welsh women like their men sturdy.

I can still see her false teeth in the old Stork Margarine tub by the sink,

I can see her in The kitchen rubbing Nivea cream at bed time. I can picture her old shopping trolley in the conservatory, I can see her in her housecoat, going to the shops on a Friday and getting her hair ‘set’.

I can see her sitting in her chair watching Emmerdale

I can see her Drinking a cup of tea and eating a kit Kat

I can see her immaculately turned out in what she like to call a new ‘rig out’

I can see her Popping into a room you were in and saying 'therewarthen', like a Welsh gap filler. It was a word that meant absolutely nothing but said so much.

In short she was adorable. The last week has seen a steady flow of visitors, paying respects and wishes. The Kate and William commemorative plate had to be moved from the mantelpiece to accommodate the cards. She is well loved.

I suppose that's what happens when you have been so respectful and lovely to people throughout your life. It is given back.

She was so active, It must have been be hard to lose her fierce independence. She was a proud woman. And despite everything she never complained. Never showed pain. ‘No one likes a moaner’ she used to tell me. She was always so ‘up’. Everyone who cared for her said how much of a model patient she was. She had a stronger life force than anyone I've known. Her will was cast iron. Her spirit strong. Even to the end.

Something that sums up her spirit – About 5 years ago she fell over and broke her leg. Ken arrived to pick her up and put her in her chair. He said "I'll call an ambulance and the doctor". She said ‘No fuss, just take me to bed and I'll have a cup of tea’. Amazing!! Rock hard.

It was nice to listen and spend time with her over the past year. To Learn from. To learn respect. She came from an era when life was simple. Family was key. You didn't moan, complain and were grateful for your lot. She was a Grafter and humble, No ego. No resentment. She didn't talk about emotions but was full of love. Like all people of that era she would never say it but would show it through actions.

Nan. We salute you. We salute your attitude, your spirit, your gratitude. We salute your life. When you were asked about the secret to your long life, you pointed to you’re legs and said ‘these are my transport’ .

Your legacy is a message of hope, of positivity, of activity, to get on with life, to be grateful, to be happy. We celebrate your life.

It’s hard to think she is no longer here, because she has always been here. The constant mainstay in all our lives. Death is sad. Loss is hard. But she is not lost. She will never go. Because she lives on in our hearts & our souls. She will live on forever.

Goodbye Nan. We love you. We remember you. May you rest in peace.