Hello everyone, how is your 'Blue Monday'?
Who on earth christened it 'Blue Monday' anyway? We now have a name for everything. Black Friday, Blue Monday, a storm called Gerald. Seems to be modern times to 'brand' everything.
Sadly Blue Monday doesn't signify a day dedicated to filth and adult literature. Its allegedly the most depressing day of the year.
The 3rd Monday of January, where most people are skint, the reality of our lives have kicked in, the extra pounds gained around the waist and lost around the bank balance remains and the year stretches out like a double omnibus episode of Eastenders. Welcome to Blue Monday.
But so what? It's no different from any other day. It has the same amount of minutes and hours so why should today be any different?
And what is a depressing day anyway? Boss treated you badly? Bad day at work, got a fine? Dumped by partner? Found out you have been cheated on? Read that Ross Kemp is returning to Eastenders? So many things can contribute to a bad day. But there is a world of difference between a depressing day and depression. If you have depression every day isn't blue. It's black. Bible black. Jet black. Horribly black. Until it lifts.
1 in 4 people suffer from some kind of mental illness in the UK. Over 400,000 people suffer with clinical depression every day. I know friends and family members who have bi-polar or clinical depression and it's a sod of an illness. My heart goes out to them.
There is a huge difference between feeling down, as we all do from time to time and being depressed. I'm not sure Blue Monday truly represents that. Feels a bit gimmicky to me.
Sure if you're in a crap job, or have a difficult family, are under financial pressure or have serious life issues it can contribute to feeling down or depressed. But I'm not a fan of the brand police branding a day 'Blue Monday', too neat and cosmetic for my liking.
Sometimes in life we get curve balls that really test you. I had one recently.
I was surprisingly and brutally made redundant before Christmas. I only sorted everything out recently, so I couldn't write about it. But I'm not going to lie, it sent me spiralling into a deep well of self pity, self doubt and self-flagulation which I only recently came out of.
I was down and threw my own pity party for ages. I don't drink or do drugs so that avenue was out of the window, but I did pretty much everything else to excess to help me wallow in my own misery.
As a character I am prone to self pity and negativity but also combined with being an alcoholic who tend to max out of defects, I really threw myself into it.
Overeating, bulimia, smoking ultra heavily, drinking endless caffeine, hardly sleeping, not exercising. I effectively gave up for a month. Some days were OK, but others weren't and I found myself spiralling into the abyss.
People said things like, "everything happens for a reason", or "Gods got a plan" or even my personal favourite, "it's the best thing for you" - but when you are wallowing in self you basically want to punch those people in the throat.
"Thanks for your kind words but I must go home and isolate for several days and eat endless boxes of roses in my stained jogging bottoms."
Some people react to bad news with positivity, Making it drive them on to prove others wrong and redouble their efforts. Some people are naturally positive. My Mother is a prime example.
But the other camp, of which I am deeply familiar, react to bad news by using it as an excuse to slide into misery and let the gremlins take over. "We're moving in now, let's make this bastard suffer." I did. I let them.
But how long can it last? A day, a week? A month? Before people get bored of your misery. A handful of my inner circle knew what happened and were very kind and sweet. But how long can you go on feeling sorry for yourself before you have to snap out of it and move on?
For me it was nearly a month. Now I am fully out of it. I can see it was indeed the best thing to happen to me. It has allowed me time and space to re-calibrate and have a think what I want to do with my life. It has enabled me to see my strengths and also learn from my weaknesses. it has allowed me to reset.
It allowed me to do a great training session with my hilarious triathlon coach this morning, have a great coaching call with my 'lifecoach' this lunchtime and do a wonderful 1 hour run at sunset around Richmond park. What's that about Blue Monday?
I am lucky as I don't have kids, family, mortgage and pressures that a redundancy can be catastrophic for. So, I now realise that but couldn't/didn't at the time. I am Ok for 3-4 months but need to work but just for today all is good. But sometimes when you are off beam and 'your head moves in' - my god it is full Shakepserian tragedy.
The answer to how long do you need to be in misery is, 'as long as you need too' before you want to change it. It's like grief. There are no time limits.
For me I needed to spiral myself and punish myself in order to reset and have a fresh start. That's not for everyone and I certainly wouldn't recommend it. But you need to go down in order to go up.
It's funny, as the week before I was made redundant I spent the week interviewing world class athletes. One of the questions I put to them was, "how do you deal with obstacles and disappointment?" - Most of their answers were similar. It made them miserable but then it motivated them to come back harder.
And that is what happened to me. I was miserable and now I am up again and determined to shape a new future however long that takes in whatever form.
I'm pretty sure that all the athletes didn't smoke 120 silk cuts and sink 4 boxes of Roses though. Maybe that's why I wont be competing in Rio this August.
The sentiment is the same though. I am an ordinary Joe, just like you and others. I get knock backs - we all do, the trick is the minimise the misery time, not batter yourself and come back fighting earlier. It's normal to be down when bad things happen, we are human beings after all, but it is unhealthy to stay in it and I know that better than most because I take it to the max.
So, my little fellow Blue Mondayers, here's to new beginnings. Here's to a fresh start. Here's to a new year. Sod Blue Monday.
I want you to imagine it on the wall in front of you and say to it:
"F*** Off Blue Monday. You are nothing with your media made up mass consumer branding intervention. I am a magnificent bastard. I am a warrior. I am huge legend and why am I saying it? Because that bloke without a job who occasionally writes a blog that 101-350 people read and has spent a month eating everything in his path and being all sorry for himself suddenly comes out of his gloom and starts spreading a message of hope and inspiration to all and sundry - that's why. I'm saying it because I am a magnificent bastard. I'm saying it because I am not a media number. I'm saying it because I will not be a victim to this Blue Monday shit. I am saying it because I can and I am. F**** you Blue Monday"
If, of course you are suffering from clinical depression. Take your meds and get off to bed. Homes Under the hammer will tip you over the edge. I'm with you in heart and soul.
Love you all very much and here's to an amazing life for all of us, even if it's dog shit sometimes, it's still amazing.
Nicholas Edward Evans
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