Friday 1st January 2016 - New Year, New Goals, New You, or is it?

Happy New Year everyone. It's 2016. Christ, sounds a bit space age doesn't it? One minute it's 1990, then it's the millennium, then it all gets a bit weird in the 2000's and suddenly it's 2016. How did that happen?

Has a nice ring to it though doesn't it? 2016. Numeroligists will be spunking in their socks with those set of numbers.

And so to the new year. A fresh start. A chance to set new goals, aspirations, visions. A chance to review the year. See where you are in life, where you want to go. What you want to achieve. Or a chance to lay on the sofa and sleep off yesterday's excesses and put off the new year until tomorrow.

Some are into new beginnings, some aren't. After all it's just another day isn't it? Same amount of minutes as any other. What if every day was like a New Year's Day?

I'm not a big one for resolutions. It all seems a bit cosmetic to me. Having said that a new year is as good a place as any to state aspirations and intentions. Thing is though, it's piss easy to write a 'wish list' of things to desire but the crucial thing is to do it every day. That's how they come to fruition, apparently.

Intentions do not just happen if you write them on the 1st January, then to wait 365 days to see if they happen by the 31st December. It requires action and regular commitment. (Yuk what a horrible thought!)

As regular followers of my blog will know, I come from a long line of lazy bastard alcoholic males, who expect things to come naturally without effort or hard work - sadly, life doesn't work out that way. So it looks like i'll have to get way out of my comfort zone.

Life will happen regardless of what we think and do. The sun will always rise, the world will still turn. So even if you set intentions or not, life will still happen and you will look back in 365 days and think, "phew what a year, stuff happened." Yes, that stuff is life.

But it's if you are happy with that life or helped create it which is the key. If you are fulfilled, doing what you like, have what you want, content. If not, then that's where intentions and goals and 'wish lists' come in. But it's the ability to continue those consistently that will bring about the changes. And I don't know about you but that's the bit I find bloody hard. How is that done? How can the changes be made?

How many of us today decided we want to join a gym, get fit, run a marathon, eat healthy, lose weight, change jobs, find a soul mate. Do these things just happen by chance or does our attitude and life contribute?

If we have a shit life, surrounded by bad luck is it our attitude, God taking the piss at our expense or just plumb bad luck?

And how do we find this consistency? Does it just come? Is it in built? Do we have to work for it?

Sometimes on 1st January it can be a little daunting to make the changes you want. How on earth do you do it? Facebook and social media is full of inspirational quotes and posts from trainers, healers, coaches, inspirational speakers, doctors, authors, gurus all peddling inspirational quotes and motivational goals or twee messages for the new year.

New you! New goals!! Be yourself! Love yourself! Be grateful. Follow your Dreams!!!

They are all wonderful messages in their own right. But the real question is HOW???!!

How the fuck do I change my life around? How do I lose this spare tyre that has built up from excessive shit eating? How do I get the job of my dreams? How do I get my soul mate? How do I get that life? How do I decide what I actually bloody want?

So many questions and sometimes so daunting and overwhelming. It's actually easier to retreat back into comfortable coping ways of living. Drinking, eating, chasing women, staying in, avoiding, putting up with things, getting annoyed - whatever it is - I find it so much easier to remain in a comfortable place no matter how much I want to change. That's the pain right there.

I am naturally pessimistic. A little on the slothful, negative side. If I add 3 hours kip last night and a week of shit eating into the mix my head is definitely not sunny side up. The full grumpy negative resentful self avoiding side comes out in me and I just want to curl up on the sofa watch crap TV and eat my own body weight in Yuletide Log. Like a hangover. It doesn't just become a duvet day but a duvet year. I have already written off 2016 that way.

It's easy then to slowly retreat into self. Beat yourself up (not off sadly) for not launching into 2016 full of positive affirmations and amazingness. The old head creeps back in and the committee starts to speak up;

Negative Voice 1 - "See, I told you so. You can't do that. Ridiculous idea. You've fucked it already. You wanker"

Negative Voice 2 - "Eat my chocolate log you fat bastard. You've already put on a stone, what's the point in eating healthy now."

Negative Voice 3 - "Stay in your habits and do not change them. You cant anyway. We've got you, so you may as-well give up. Twat

Negative Voice 4 - "They're all better than you and you have nothing. Idiot."

Helpful committee aren't they? Those with an alcoholic head will identify. Most people with self hatred or inner negative voices will also have these from time to time. So what was the solution?

Well, it was to get up off the sofa, get out of the inertia, drive for an hour to visit my Mum and Brother and family, do something that involved others and then go to a meeting in the evening. It had to be done. All of the rest of the intentions can wait. It's step by step. Positive actions can lead to bigger positive returns later.

My head always follows my feet. I have to put in action then the rest of me follows. In AA there is a wonderful saying. "Have smart feet" - no-one ever thought themselves well and thus it is about having smart feet and letting them take me to my Family's or to a meeting where the head will eventually settle and change. The committee will quieten and I can get on with my life.

Oh PS, don't worry, I'm not a saint by the way. I still managed to be a grumpy bastard, say something to a dear friend that pissed them off, was rude, abrupt and really horrible to someone else and made someone cry. I mean I'm not a spiritual guru or saint here. And that's when I'm trying to be nice. Jesus can you imagine me on a bad day?!! Happy New Year!

I know what I'm up against here. My head. It's like a turning a tanker round at times. From negative to positive. It doesn't come naturally. The mind and head is a powerful tool. Mental health and mood is so closely related to lifestyle yet sometimes I just don't see it. The self sabotage in me is strong. The self will iron like. But today was a simple example of change being a positive action rather than a word or thought. It can start right now. This minute.

Putting the Quality Street down. Picking up the phone to ask how someone is doing. Walking instead of taking a lift. Going to see your Mum instead of lazing on the sofa. Whatever it is/ they make you feel better. Small daily positive steps all add up and I found that out today. Do the opposite of wat my tired bad head says and I'll be alright.

I'm looking forward to 2016. I have aspirations to turn 'The Inside Job' into something, change my life, become a coach/trainer, develop greater learning, do an Ironman in under 13 hours, stop eating buttered meat, get healthier and turn this blog into a great little brand and help others. I want to work with people in recovery. I want to help people lose weight, get healthier, achieve their goals, manage addictions. I'm not sure how or what yet but I'm up for the challenge.

So Who's in for the ride? It maybe bumpy at times but you know what - it will be well worth it I promise you of that.

Have a good year everyone

Nicholas E Evans.