Bejing, Barcelona, Sydney, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Athens, Moscow were you watching? Your boys took a hell of a beating. Fuck you with your crows nest and £200million budget. We had £27million budget and Sue Barker's camel toe. We had James Bond parachuting in with the Queen, the Artic Monkeys singing cool rock with neon birds floating around, we had grass being laid, ages of history, Beckham in a speedboat (unfortunately floating) the greatest Olympians ever, fireworks, passion, humour, surrealism and...Paul McArtney.
I am buzzing. I was out all night getting wound up for the cycling tomorrow, getting excited. Everyone i asked didn't care much for it, but i managed to turn them into Olympic fans just by sheer weight of enthusiasm. I can't fucking wait. I remember being so excited and inspired by the Olympics as a kid. I have that back. I love it. How can you not?
Usually i care little for opening and closing ceremonies, it's all about the sport for me. About the Athletes, the dedication to training, the heroic performances. But although i missed some of it, i saw most of the end and fuck me, it got me going. It was like visual Viagra.
Incredible. A truly global event, watched by 1 billion people, set right here, in London. A massive world event. Everyone was all over Twitter, Facebook, TV's. All united in one thing. Watching the spectacle. You can feel that unifying energy.
Yes you can pull it apart. Like when McArtney came on in the end. It felt like the longest and best foreplay you've had only to go flaccid and soft at the crucial moment #letdown.
And yes if he wanted to really represent Britain he would have put a few underage teenage pregnant obese binge drinking in. But that's just being pedantic. Bottom line he got James Bond to rescue the Queen for fucks sake. That was surely worth the £27 million alone? That and the Vegas Elvis style tracksuits GB wore for the never ending team displays. I did think i needed to get on the amphetamine train to keep watching but he managed to pull some pearlers out the bag at the right time to keep it moving
But fuck me, it made me want to run through walls. To do something heroic, to get out and fucking well get on it. Shame it's 2AM. I'll have to make a heroic Olympic sandwich and heroically watch some Olympic porn, oh and plot my viewing route for the cycling road race tomorrow.
It's the real deal now, i Can't wait, I've turned into a cycling nerd. Will there be a breakaway, will Cavendish win gold in a sprint, will my Corned Beef sandwiches last until lunchtime or will i heroically scoff them by mid morning in a gold medal style binge? So many possibilities
I'm not really sure I'm on board with all the proud to be British chat though. Yes it was amazing, yes it was superb and yes it did capture the spirit of Britain (apart from Argos, Primark and Londsdale tracksuits) but making you proud to be part of a country for a few hours just doesn't feel right to me. Pride is in what you do for your country, helping someone less well off than you, running a marathon for charity, not ripping someone off, being the best you can in someting. That's pride in your country, in yourself, not tweeting it whilst watching an inspiring show. That's fake pride for me. Show me don't tell me!
And that's what we'll be seeing in the next 2 weeks, Sportspeople who have dedicated lifetimes, weeks, hours, days to training to become as good as they can, and they will be showing that pride for them, for their families, for friends, for everyone supporting them. Even writing that makes me tingle, and not from a hard on. From imagining what people have put into this and for the next 2 weeks we will be viewing that and it will be a pleasure.
That for me is why football has no part to play, can you really say they will be heart, body and soul into this like a cyclist, a weightlifter, a swimmer, an athlete? Not for me they won't but fuck em, overpaid nonce's anyway, soon forgotten
It's all about the Olympics now folks, the dopers, the mopers, the gropers, the world class no hopers. Bring them all on. Bring on the games, after tonight I'm ready. Britain's ready, are the gladiators ready. Awooga!
Can't wait
xx
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