Pages and pages of editorial, pics, comment, phone ins, debate, Internet. blah blah blah zzzzzzzz
A privileged 26 year old goes on the piss to Vegas with loads of mates, stacks of cash and the most famous bachelor tag in the world. Errr and that's news?
So he got his ginger little cock out in a game of pool. Is that disgraceful?
The question is not why he got his cock out, but why the fuck was he playing pool. He's British, it should have been snooker man. That's Disgraceful.
We've all been there, playing naked pool whilst off our nuts at 4 in the morning. Try doing that and going straight into work on 2 blue microdots Prince Harry. I tell you it's hard to stock take whilst tripping your nuts off. "Blue Yorkies morphing into a wild American eagle...1,2,3 oh I've lost count. again."
It's a non story, though i think there is something more serious afoot. Clearly there is some kind of ginger conspiracy at play. 1st Greg Rutherford wins gold in the long jump, then Prince Harry does a Prince Albert in Vegas, Nicole Kidman gets her kit off in a photshoot. They;re everywhere. Taking over the airwaves. Gingers are making a play for world domination. What next Ron Howard for US President?
I've spotted it and I'm not having it. I mean don't get me wrong I'm not gingerist. Some of my best mates have got it, but I'm not up for them running the world. Sunbathing will be outlawed and freckles positively encouraged. We are living in dangerous times people.
Went to the cinema for first time in months today. God i love the movies. Large popcorn, half salty half sweet which i manage to polish off in the trailers. I seem to get it everywhere bar my mouth and managed to get one lodged in my arse crack. Made for an uncomfortable opening and looked like i was trying to give myself a prostrate massage. #embarrassing.
Saw the Bourne Legacy, or is it Identity or Ultimatium. Doesn't really matter does it? they're all a pile of shit. Enjoyable, don't get me wrong and i'm well into it, but ultimately totally pointless movie. A good way to spend 2 hours though, even if i did feel like i was sitting on anal beads with the popcorn everywhere. How does it get there? I mean it's not like i'm trying to plug it in my ass? I kinow i'm a filthy bastard but i draw the line at that. Movies are for kicking off your shoes, eating loads and making as much mess as possible. I love them
It does bring back an uncomfortable memory of my temper though. Around 2 years ago i was having an argument with my girl at the time in the cinema and as we were about to go into the film, in my opinion she became a massive pain in the ass. I got so angry i actually drop kicked the popcorn everywhere. I Caught it on the half volley covering the said stunned woman to a speechless silence. Along with around 15 people.
A slightly unconventional way to stop an argument, but successful non the less.
i spent the 1st 30 minutes of the movie sulking. Not so much in the argument but in the fact i had bugger all to munch on. I had to face the humilation of leaving the film to buy popcorn. No doubt the entire audience were thinking 'twat'. And they would have been quite right.
Clearly i have anger issues
xx
Ahhhhh good one laughed out loud more than once, more of that please
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