Oh my god. It's over. It's done. Finished. Ladies and gentlemen the greatest sports event in history was closed tonight......by One Direction. Honestly I'm not making this shit up. I will deal with that later.
Firstly, the most important thing. Me. Man flu has been reduced from red terminal danger to amber. Save for a nasty bout of the squirts i was ready to be reintroduced to the world. Quarantine was over.
An Early morning meeting was followed by a trip to Parliament Square to watch the Men's Olympic Marathon. You've got to really haven't you? The last chance to experience an Olympic Games in the City of my home.
It was Packed. Everyone was trying to get a final piece of the Olympic atmosphere. The sun was shining and London looked glorious. What a place to hold an event. The Atmosphere was great. Waited for ages to see the runners, forcing me to smoke several silk cuts before they whizzed past at a furious pace. No fat, lean running machines going slightly quicker than i chugged around in my 5 London Marathons. Impressive. Maybe i need to reconsider the silk cut thing to get quicker? I seem to wheeze past as opposed to whizz.
In the afternoon GB added to their Medal haul, winning silver in the flyweight and Gold in the Super Heavy weight boxing. Anthony Joshua, a 22 year old fighter, who only took up the sport 4 years ago after being inspired by James DeGale winning gold in the Athens Olympics boxing, delivered the most humble and wonderful post fight interview. He gave the credit to all those who supported him, went before him and the fallen warriors along the way. He was genuinely class. Another inspiring Olympic moment and story.
To finish the games they strangely picked the female modern pentathlon. An odd little sport of riding, shooting, jumping, running, fencing and baking. It was pretty underwhelming stuff but thankfully GB grabbed a silver to keep us Brits mildly interested and happy and that was that. Finito. End of competition. All eyes turned to the closing ceremony.
I had been out all day and with my energy rapidly decreasing and bad stomach rapidly rising i retreated home to my sofa to watch the show. I'm not usually into these things as it taints the memory of sport for me, but 1 billion people were tuning in and it was the end of London 2012. You had to watch didn't you?
Everyone had been wondering how the country would handle the end of the Olympics and the massive come down and sense of loss from 2 weeks of such exhilarating drama. Well, the closing ceremony did this for us by delivering 3 hours of wonderfully mediocre banal middle of the road entertainment on a grand scale.
The past 2 weeks has been entirely free of cynicism, criticism, negativity and piss taking. The country has been in such a positive bubble. All of that came flooding back tonight as X Factor on steroids was brought to us in technicolour glory. Twitter was full of it and it was as entertaining to follow people's comments as it was watching the ceremony.
What a pile of shit. Banal act upon banal act gave us a series of lip synced or mimed songs from the 90's along with a series of musicians who are either past their best or never had a best in the first place.
The Olympics has created such high drama, inspiration and incredible emotion. So many images of true achievement and greatness. From Mo, Hoy, Wiggins, Trott, Ennis, Rowers, Pendleton, boxers, judo, gymnasts - across the board people have given their all for their country. Sacrificing everything, turning themselves inside out to be the best they can. Showcasing such positive and great human performance to the whole world.
How could they signify such greatness and achievement. How could they represent such class and inspiration?.......ladies and Gentlemen.......One Direction.
Oh no, not just One Direction but Brian May in a dressing gown, Jessie J in a camel toe, George Michael in handlebar moustache miming a gay electro pop tune, Liam Gallagher doing a nasal impression of Oasis, The Spice Girls full stop, Muse doing inappropriate head banging to middle of the road cock rock and worst of the bunch Russell Brand singing I am the Walrus. Fuck me kill me now. 1 billion people all saying, 'shall we go somewhere else on holiday now'
Everytime i came back from the loo (dodgy stomach) another banal act was being introduced.
It was like the bastard off child of the Opening Ceremony. Beady Eye to Oasis. It was effectively Andy Gibb. Dreadful. To be fair The light show, fireworks, dancing, choreography and performers were superb but it had far too much of the whiff of X factor to it. But didn't the stadium look spectacular?
A strange genre has been created since X factor has ruled TV. Now older established acts are being joined by newer acts singing their songs without them being as good as the original. It loses credibility and validity and is basically Posh Karaoke. GB has more talent than this. This was a poor reflection in my eyes. There is a fine margin between artistic collaboration and Karaoke. Tonight they missed that line.
The only thing to redeem it were Rio's 8 minute Insane presentation. A sort of thing put together after a long night out. A mad dude in white shades who looked like he could arm wrestle Chris Hoy and Steve Redgrave for breakfast. Then they brought out Pele of course and that's all you really need. Throw in a couple of gorgeous lady boys, some samba and that's sorted.
To close the whole thing off The Who where wheeled out. Not literally, though for their age you wouldn't have bet against it. They sounded great though and basically showed everyone up who performed, making you forget the 3 hours of mindless banality that had led up to their performance. They fucking rocked.
Then the flame went out. London 2012 closed. The baton passed to Rio for 2016 and the Olympic Games in my home town was over. A sad moment. Gutted.
It has been a truly awe inspiring 2 weeks. Something magical has happened. Yes you can quibble about the £9 billion spent, about the corupt IOC and the imbalance of social equality. yes you can debate if Politicians have jumped on the back of this games to benefit themselves whilst neglecting the real work of funding in sport, schools and long term investment in facilities, training and getting kids and adults engaged to solve the obesity problem and produce world class athletes for the future.
But overall, despite the UK's pre games cynicism the whole Olympic Games has been inspiring and incredible. It has captured the country's imagination and changed the nations psyche. It has delivered spectacular moments and drawn us all together in emotion.
it has showcased the human spirit and what one can achieve with dedication and hard work. It has Inspired, entertained, made us cry, made us sad, made us happy, exhilarated and more. It has been the greatest Sporting Event in my lifetime.
I was pleased to have experienced it. There have been many moments i will remember. The thrones outside Hampton Court, Wiggins clinching the time trail, that magical moment on the 1st Saturday when GB won 3 golds, The cyclists, the rowers, the Judo girl mouthing 'i love you' to her mother who had passed away 8 years previous.
It moves you in a way nothing else does, and it is relentless. One moment after another. it keeps coming. It wells you up. It grabs you. You become addicted. Connected.
It has been on all the time. From morning to night. It has provided the backdrop to all our lives over the past 2 weeks and no matter where you are, or what you are doing the Olympics has been your friend. In papers, headline news, in shops, restaurants, bars, people's homes.
And the country has changed. People are lighter, friendlier, hopeful. Cynicism has been replaced by optimism and 'can do' attitude. It is remarkable. But will it last?
The talk is of legacy and inspiring generations of kids to get up and take part. More will be revealed on that one, we shall tackle that on another day.
For now i refuse to let One Direction or Russel Brand to destroy my warm Olympic Glow.
London 2012 we salute you. You have delivered. You have rocked. Now, where is that Rio guidebook?
xx
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