Tomorrow I'm off my summer holidays. Yes that's right folks the cock jocks, budgie smugglers, speedos are packed. flip flops are on, trashy novels stuffed in the bag and I'm ready for some serious sunburn in southern Turkey. Even a red eye 6am flight isn't stopping me looking forward to it.
It's been a pretty harsh year, lots going on. Lots of physical and mental strain. Alcoholism, family problems, my poor Nan's death, grief, job problems etc etc. I'm physically and mentally fucked so I can't wait.
I remember when i was a kid and summer holidays were just totally ace. All the summer special comics, going to me Nan's for a month on the train. Heading off to the coast. It was all so exciting.
I'm not sure i have the same level of enthusiasm as i had when i was a kid but I'm looking forward to it.
Going to Fetiyre, Southern Turkey with a dear friend and her 10 year old daughter, so i guess that makes me some kind of parental guardian, which is quite scary. But it does mean that i get to be a total norse for a week and play on water slides, bomb in pools, put on silly voices and generally be used as a climbing frame.
It's an all inclusive resort, so I'm looking forward to the endless buffets, constant entertainment and vast array of Brits sporting Lonsdale beachwear from Sports Direct.
My reading matter is Martin Amis', 'Money', Brad Wiggins biography and a book on mental illness and psychopath's which is apparently a comedy.
I haven't packed yet, even though we fly soon. I'm more of a chuck it in the suitcase kind of guy. Meticulously organised i am not. I have passport, tickets, cigarettes, running trainers, speedos, shorts and vest so I'm good to go. What else do you need?
The last holiday i went on was to Egypt last summer, when i contracted a nasty case of 'brown laser' which lasted for days. I think i ate nuclear waste or something. Hope it doesn't happen this time.
I shall of course be writing my daily blog, dressed in nothing but a pair of speedos and mosquito cream and am back on 3rd September. Day before my 40th, so it's all happening.
We fly with Monarch airlines, which makes EasyJet look like Business Class. It's the airline equivalent of Primark crossed with JD Wetherspoons, thank god it's only a 4 hour flight.
I hope to get healthy and feel better when I'm back as I've been struggling mentally and physically over the past few weeks. Lets hope the hotel isn't from ITV's Holidays from Hell, it;s got decent write ups on Tripadvisor though those are probably all from the owners Brother in Law.
It never fails to amaze me the people who go to the trouble of writing on tripadvisor. 'had to wait 5 Min's at reception, the bedside plug socket didn't work' etc etc. WTF? Have these people got nothing better to do?
Anyway i look forward to writing my review on the site in 8 days time
aurevoir bloggers, have a tip top and tidy week
xx
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