In the morning It was raining hard & very windy. We hoped the weather would clear. The beach was gloomy, heavy rain came off the estuary and i didn't have time, nor if i'm honest the energy to run. I had things to do.
First on the list was getting my haircut. I thought in honour of me Nan i would go for short back and sides. Remembering how my Grandfather used to love Ken Appleyards Barbers. (Where he had loads of pictures of different hairstyles on the wall, but only did 1 - clipper back, sides and top), I went to an old school barbers on Station Road. I asked for a Beckham, (grade 3 on sides and back minus the ridiculous moustache) I gave him £20 expecting a tenner change, and back came £16. He charged me £4 for a haircut. Four quid!!!!!! Four f****g quid. Incredible
I said my goodbyes to her, on my own in the front room. Praying for her spirit, her peace and to help guide me to be more grateful, honourable, dignified, fearless and for the 3.30 at Chepstow to come in at 40-1.
All the immediate family gathered at 2pm for a private service in the living room with the family vicar. It was brief and moving. The living room was the central point. The Mecca and to honour her with the priest was very special. I held my Mum's hand as she cried. It felt good to be close. To be of service.
It was then time for us Pall Bearers to take her out of Bymoor Road. As per her request she was actually taken out feet first, placed into the beautiful Jaguar herse, with 2 other stretch Jags behind for family and Pallbearers (me, my Brother Rob, My cousins husband Christian and My Uncles best friend Phil) In a beautuful old fashioned touch, the chief mourner walked infront of her coffin with his hat off down Brymoor Road. Her street of 73 years and she left it with honour and respect. It was lovely
Then to Dafen Church, and rather disapointingly we had to wheel her on a trolley. I personally think coffins should be placed on shoulders and carried high, but who am i to question funeral etiquitte in Wales? It;s not as if i'm an expert but then again when has that ever stopped my from forming an opinion that i usually think is 100% right.
As we entered into the Church, it was packed and the hymn Myfanwe was being played. That is when it hit me and i got goose pimples and welled up. Emotional.
It was totally packed with people and so good to see so many come to pay their respects. It was the mark of her standing in the community and what people thought of her.
The Vicar said some beautiful words. There were 2 Readings about being guided and lots of talk about her being in a good place. There were 3 hymns i had no idea how to sing but gave it a go and then my Eulogy. I read it with pride and passion. People laughed and i felt so good doing it. Bringing her to life at her funeral. As if you could picture her there. I got right to the end, before addressing her and that is when i went, choking tears, i managed to finish just as i blubbed and wailed. I was so pleased to get those words out. They meant an awful lot to me.
Then after we led her out, took her to the Grave she will share with her husband, the weather had cleared. It was bright and she was finally laid to rest. She was at Peace, but i felt her spirit all around, I felt her in everyone. I knew she was looking on us. I knew she was there. It was then time for the classic Welsh send off of which she would have so approved. The Welsh Buffet in the Parish Hall.
There was a beautiful spread, scotch eggs, sausage rolls from Jenkins the Baker, sandwiches from Morrison, Victoria sponge from cafe in town and home made rock cakes. It was perfect. Busty old Welsh women from the Church served tea and people sat around and chatted whilst noshing on homemade cakes and drinking litres of tea with shiny shoes in immaculate rigouts. It was so Nan. So Welsh.
Lots of people were very kind and shook my hand about the Eulogy, Uncle Ken and those kept telling everyone i was starring in a Tesco advert, like i was Richard Burton and an older gentleman came up to shake my hand, obviously he'd been piling into the buffet, because when he got to the bit where he said the speech was 'excellent', a massive piece of pastie flew out of his mouth and hit me on the head.
It was an awkward moment. To someone you know well you both make light and a joke of it. but seeing as i didn't know him, he was being kind and clearly either didn't realise or was to proud to admit, he carried on talking with such old school dignity i didn't have the heart to make a joke. I was having this whole inner dialogue until he finshed and left. I was just pleased he didn't eat the scotch eggs, would have been like dodging bullets.
I then talked to a distant relavitve about shaminism and spirituality. Just an ordinary Welsh funeral conversation in between bites of mini pasties.
Most of the family came back to Brymoor Road, for tea and more cake and for me it was one of the sweetest moments. The house was full again, everyone fussing round her, like in the past. It was full of welsh girls induging in Nanversation, about how they like their tea etc, it was loving warm and made me smile. I find Welsh girls endlessly talking about not much ultra comforting and relaxing. It's what Nan would have wanted because thats what she did
My lovely cousins Alison and Andrea stayed for ages and it was so nice to feel reconnected with such classic, friendly, loving and warm Welsh girls. It made my day. Mum sat in Nan's chair and like it or not has assumed the role of Matriarch now. It fits her well.
Then as people drifted off, it was left with just 8 of us. There was only one thing for it, a curry. Yes to go to place Nan had never eaten in her life. We all needed a Curry. The only thing for a long day, half rice, half chips (Watch Twin Town for the reference) Perfect.
And so we went, to round off the day. We chatted, we laughed, there were different generations and it was special. She would have so loved all this, even ordering 'Nan' bread felt appriate. She was never happier than when people were happy, eating and families being together naturally. It was so perfect.
Today was a beautiful day. The family came together. It was dignified and classy. My eulogy brought her to life and made people smile and laugh and cry. Women told me it reminded them of their mother or Grandmother. The food was great, the atmosphere just right. One old girl said it was the best funeral she'd been too. Which is itself is such a welsh thing to say. I told you they love a good funeral down here.
Her force of personality was well remembered today and it made me feel proud to be part of it and to have had her in my Life. She would have approved. Even the spitting Parish warden is OK in my book. It was just such a beautuful Welsh funeral and the ideal way to say goodbye for now to Nan. It celebrated everytinh she loved and stood for
Cariad Mamgi Pob Bendith E Cwi (Love you Nan, May you rest in Peace)
God bless you
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Great blog, Nick. God bless to your lovely Nan ps. pastie bit made me laugh :)
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