This house and Llanelli is a healing place. The whole pace and atmosphere is 1/4 of London. It's very healing to just slow down, keep it simple, sleep, rest, be, drink 8 litres of tea, spend time with family and indulge in effective 'nonversation'.
Woke early to a beautiful morning. Sun shining, sky is blue with milky white clouds peppering it. Like airbrush strokes. Very dramatic, There is only one thing to do on a morning like this. A run on the beach to my favourite spot in the world me thinks.
I do it every time. It;s outstanding. Out, along Brymoor Road, to the main road, past 'Sea Bach' cafe (£4.95 for 3 course Sunday roast - Michelin star it is not), the Polish car cleaning place that is clearly a front for people smuggling and drug dealing, along the old harbour and housing development they have put up overlooking the beach that is similar to an East German psychiatric unit and onto the beach. Llanelli beach is outstanding. The panoramic view of the Gower coast is totally stunning. I love it.
Then i run along the whole beach, up the coastal park to Burry Port harbour, and just before (after 4 miles) is a grass jetty that snakes out into the estuary, I run along it, sit, look out to sea and have the entire 360 degrees panoramic view of LLanelli, Gower, Pembray estuary, coastline - It is an amazing place. My favourite spot in the world. Peaceful. I can sit for hours.
Everyone needs a 'spot'. A place in the world you go to to think. To just look and let your brain settle. This is mine, a place i come to often to try and make a decision on something troubling me. Only trouble is I'm often undecided whether or not to stand, kneel or lay down on the grass to decide. Painful. Plus the constant wondering of how 'meditiative' i look should a boat go past. I'm so pleased I'm not self obsessed anymore.
Then it is a run back along the coastal path, greeting fellow runners, dog walkers, OAP cyclists and couples out walking with the Welsh morning greeting of 's'alrite'. I thought i was doing well, but then my karma was burst when i was overtaken by a rather speedy dog walker. When i say dog walker, she had the dog tied to the handlebar of the mobility scooter. She was motoring i tell you. Clearly in a hurry to get to 'Sea Bach' cafe for the £1.49 Full welsh Breakfast. (Faggots, bacon, Felinfoel Ale and a sunbed)
Back to Brymoor Road, faff around, quick visit to Asda for one last voyeur of the leopard print legging brigade, catch MC Asda peddling 10p cauliflowers and up to the hospice for the mini Jubilee Party for me Nan.
She wasn't great today. The process has begun, and she's sick of just eating soup and ice cream and hes no strength. She doesn't complain, but talking and lots of people are getting harder for her. I'm happy just to sit quietly with her if I'm honest.
The staff were in full Royalist Jubilee mode, Union Jack earrings, clothing and flags. Baking cakes. My Mum bought in the classic Jubilee buffet;
Mini cupcakes, cake, mini sausage rolls, cocktail sausages but the ultimate sacrilegious act supermarkets seem to have brought in, mini scotch eggs. My moto is never fuk with the scotch egg. The whole beauty of a scotch egg is seeing people's faces trying to eat one. There is no elegant way of doing it, you've basically got to lock your jaw open like performing deep throat (so I've seen) and nosh away. It's not a food item for a 1st date but every man i know loves scotch eggs.
The buffet is a typically British thing and of course Supermarkets have revelled in it by 'minimizing everything into 'bite size'. Now for the compulsive over eater a 24inch deep pan Pizza is 'bite size' so a mini sausage roll just doesn't touch the sides.
My Mum is bang into all of that though. She likes things twee, neat and small. I remember when she first started buying M&S chicken drumettes. Mini drumsticks - can someone please tell me the point?
My cousin turned up with her Kids, so it was great my Nan had a room full of different family and her Great Grandsons. All the different generations. I must be maturing as i didn't get jealous all the attention was taken away from me as the youngest Grandson. You know you're not in a good space when you're jealous of a 7 year old. Maybe that's why i haven't had kids yet?
Then, it was a visit to the oldest brother, recovering after a shaky period and a concerning 48 hours for us, but all was cool and he showed me around the Greek Orthodox church he is staying at, which is effectively a converted garden shed. Superb.
We also heard the news my lovely niece got engaged over the weekend, so it was quite a roller coaster bittersweet time. So sad to see my Nan deteriorating so much, yet new life being sprouted. I suppose that's Families.
It made me think of the Family, especially over this weekend of Diamond Jubilee (Not that I'm into it really) It is important. It displays The worst things (annoyance, feuds, resentments) and the best things (support, love, personalities, grounding) - But it always needs a head. That has been my Nan. It;s been amazing to see how everyone loves her. Amazing to see her life force, her spirit and positivity. And it's been interesting to see how she is coping with her decline. In short it's sad but there is alot of love around which is what i think of about her now.
Family is great, I saw a large chunk of mine this weekend. I got to just hang at Brymoor Road with my Mum, talk and support and listen to the strain she has been under over the past 4 months of caring 24/7. There are so many things in Llanelli that are blown up to be massive things, that is the small town way. Gossip, nonversation and resentment. But ultimately we are all different and it's the only thing we've got sometimes.
The only ones that will pick up the phone at 3am when you're in trouble, The only one to go to when you're experiencing difficulty, the ones to share joy and pain, and the ones that will be with you until the end. The ones to tell you the truth even if you don't want to hear it, the ones that annoy the fuk out of you, the ones you'd like to not talk to for 30 years, but ultimately the ones you are related to and love for very much.
There is a massive sense of family in Wales that i haven't really experienced growing up, as a product of an alcoholic 'broken' home. The was little in the way of consistency, no long term family home etc and family unit. Pockets of it but not sustained.That's not a bad thing just fact, and i guess what i love about Llanelli is that it feels like my spiritual home. My Nan, Brymoor Road, Llanelli itself has been a constant when maybe there was nothing else constant in my life.
That is coming to a close soon as Nan ends her days, but in my heart it will live on and i will take that special feeling of home and family with me as i head back to London. I guess that's why i love writing about Llanelli. Why i poke fun of it. I am effectively a visitor. A voyeur. I don't sound Welsh. I was brought up in Maidenhead. Wales brought uis Dylan Thomas, Richard Burton and Barry John. Maidenhead brought us Keith Chegwin and Wendy Craig.
So i leave with a heavy heart, but feeling good inside. I have seen no street parties. The paper reported that tesco sold 3.2 million Victoria sponges and 1.1million scotch eggs, looks like the country's got their buffet priority mixed up. If you watch the BBC then the whole country has gone Jubilee mental. i suspect there's a little bit of Media hyperbole this weekend.
Prince Phillip is in hospital with a bladder infection, very common for people into water sports apparently. Dirty bastard. And the last word goes to my Nan, i asked her about the big concert at Buckingham Palace tonight, and she said "I know it's great isn't it. Mind you that Ken Barlow has done so well organising it. It's amazing how he can do that and Coronation Street".
Now that makes you proud to be British, fuck the concert and hype and bollocks about the Jubilee all weekend, go take a look at your family, go and help someone out for an hour. Gratitude in action people. That makes me proud
x
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