Time is short today. It's 3pm. I have a flight to catch to Glasgow to help MC a friend's 60th birthday tomorrow. So I'll be brief (unnatural to me)
Today is about altering your attitude.
If, like me, you struggle with your head and attitude. I have a great solution. Say thank you.
I know it sounds wanky. But it really works.
As you may know i'm proper self obsessed and think about myself often. I'm also terminally lazy, instantly wanting to cancel plans to sit indoors, especially when it's cold. I'm also pretty unhealthy. Having a self sabotage streak so strong it makes me want to eat badly, or not at all, smoke tons, drink Diet coke, not sleep and essentially put off any kind of life plans and make me feel shit. I just hide it well beneath a rapidly decreasing 6 pack.
In essence a large part of me. My disease, my lower self or my devil, call it what you will, wants me dead, unhappy, alone or fucked up.
That's what i'm against. Not all will identify of course, but it's my truth. This always has an adverse reaction to my attitude, so I come from a position of 'fuck you', rather than 'how can I help you." My lower self is my default setting rather than my sunnier more optimistic higher self.
My mind is always on a collision course to argue and wrestle against anything that is healthy, always looking for a way out. Like a rebellious teenager. In a meeting, for example, I rarely go in with an open mind and positive attitude. Instead the arms are crossed and I hate everyone. Within 10 or 50 mins after hearing about the solution or other people talking about spiritual practices I thaw out and my mind is adjusted to 'this is good I am lucky', from 'this is dreadful I hate you'. The higher self takes over from the lower self when exposed to more healthy spiritual practices.
So, how can I do that in normal life? On my own? Changing your perception is an action that has to be practiced. It rarely just happens organically in my experience. Open mindedness, willingness and honesty are required. You have to be prepared to try.
So, take today. I don't want to go to Glasgow. I want to stay in rest, watch movies and try to help this never ending flu to go. Of course I can also use this as a great excuse to indulge in isolation and sloth and retreat into self.
I can also go, reluctantly though, without spirit, fun or enjoyment, but not showing anyone that but knowing inside how i feel. I can of course, change my attitude.
Here's a guy who has invited lots of people up to Glasgow to spend his birthday with him in a beautiful castle. It's been planned for months and he's asked me to come and also MC and be there.
Instead of buying into my initial polluted lower self thoughts, how about I buy into my second higher self ones? I am honoured to be asked, to make someone's birthday special and just be happy to be there. Which is better?
How about I say 'thank you' for asking and be grateful in my attitude. Suddenly my brow decreases and my grouch departs. That's a much lighter way to live.
Some of you have that automatically. After all we are all different people. Some more optimistic than others for example. I'm most certainly in the 'oh for fucks sake' camp, so I have to work hard to alter my attitude, shift my thinking so I become a normal human being having a human experience.
That shift is sometimes the hardest of all. From negative to positive can be a real challenge.
But we can do it people. If I can anyone can. I just can't guarantee how long it will last. I maybe singing a different tune after a 6pm EasyJet flight to Glasgow from Gatwick.
Lord help me and forgive me if I sin several times in the next few hours. Could be very funny as his blog about altered attitudes and gratitude is read out in court as he fights 4 charges of GBH against an EasyJet employee and the passenger in the seat next to him. Lower self will be flicking the V's then won't he?
It maybe as simple as repeating "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." 25,000 times until higher self wins. Whatever happens let's try and have fun along the way.
Have a great weekend troops - I'm back with the blog on Sunday
Nicholas Edward Evans
xx
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